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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wish that the pelvic toner advert would vanish....now!

138 replies

Hanikam · 05/10/2012 20:57

I like to read mumsnet during quiet moments at work.
That stupid advert for the pelvic toner pops up at awkward moments.
Who says "50% of mothers have weak bladders / pelvic intolerance?"
As compared to who? non-mothers, population as a whole (including men, who might have trouble inserting the damned thing.....rectal toner maybe?)

Don't want people to look at me like I'm someone who regularly wets her knickers.

so, aibu?

OP posts:
HecateHarshPants · 06/10/2012 11:03

50%? Sounds about right. carrying a child and having it is a big strain on your pelvic floor. It's not unreasonable or unrealistic to say that that results in about half the people who've done it having some continence problems afterwards.

I don't see it as insulting, or embarrassing at all.

It's also not compared to anything. It's just a percentage of the number of people who have had a baby Grin

porcamiseria · 06/10/2012 12:38

lets face it they have chosen a clever slot to advertise

the shape and whiteplasticoccockyness is v unfortunate though

Birdsgottafly · 06/10/2012 13:25

I am in my 40's.

I consider that the availability of pelvic toners to be a Feminist issue, not the other way round.

When i was growing up it was thought that women naturally get back pain, incontinence and shrink/lose bone mass, that was when little was known (or cared) about womens health.

Women don't have to suffer from the conditions that they used to, they were not a 'natural' part of being female and can be prevented, or at least improved.

TanteRose · 06/10/2012 13:38

Brilliant thread - all hail gussie Grin

BarbaraWoodlouse · 06/10/2012 13:42

Is anyone more that 4 posts into this thread and not doing their pelvic floor exercises? Grin

TanteRose · 06/10/2012 13:44

I started doing them when I read the thread title in Active Convos Grin

Nagoo · 06/10/2012 13:58

Grin Gussie you are a legend :)

MmeLindor · 06/10/2012 17:48

We should aim to keep this bumped so that every time it pops up in ACs, we do a collective

Gillianfl · 06/10/2012 19:00

go for it gussie! At last a physio who speaks the truth - well done, even if it takes 3 glasses.
My best friend SlackAlice was like so many of these nice ladies and really didn't think she had a problem. She blamed the lack of nice sexy sensations on the fact that men's thingies shrink significantly after they become DHs. It's a fact, ask any mumsnetter!!! They know everything about everything. LOL
Anyway, SlackAlice bought her self a pelvic toner and you know what - it does just what it's name suggests, and now we call her MightyTighty and she's a favourite with all the boys.
Get a life girls! I mean it. There is life after children when you don't leak and sex is very very enjoyable.
And tightening up your pelvic floor is the first step so £25 will be well spent, believe me.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 06/10/2012 19:35

Why tvym, EH.

I knew someone on here has to appreciate my SOH.

gussiegrips · 06/10/2012 21:07

Don't be all kind and nice to me, girls. I'll get all diva-esque and the chances of my husband supplying me with any sort of Jennifer Lopez backstage demands are slim...

Bit more about prolapse:

A prolapse is essentially a hernia in your vagina. A weak bit in the wall of the front of it and your bladder can slip forwards into the gap. At the back, your rectum can slip forwards. And, there is another where your uterus can slip down into your vagina. You can have one, two or all three. They can be graded as a slight bulge to a complete prolapse where the organs can fall right out.

Symptoms include - a feeling of heaviness in the pelvis, a lump or a bulge, painful sex, feeling like "something is falling out", difficulty using tampons, urinary incontinence, fecal incontinence, IBS-like symptoms.

Treatment ranges from simple exercises, to electro-stimulation and bio-feedback, pessaries (plastic gubbings that hold the bits back where they should be) and various types of surgery.

The first thing to do is to relax. Nothing can be fixed unless it is diagnosed. These problems are common, really, really common. And, often, really easily fixed.

Take your fanny to your GP. Be reassured, no one will judge you. No one will be shocked at the sight of your bits. No one will laugh, no one will cry either. I do understand that it is an embarrassing and difficult thing to do - but yours will be the next in a long line of fannies that the GP has looked at that day. And, you need a diagnosis and help. So, ehm, take off your big girl pants and flop out those legs so you can get a diagnosis and reassurance.

Ask to be referred to a woman's health physio, a continence nurse or a uro-gynaecologist. Do not be brushed off with a muttering of "do your exercises" Be clear about what your symptoms are, what you are doign to help yourself and that you want a specialist referral.

I hope that doesn't read as disrespectful to GP's. I am not meaning to suggest that they would brush you off - but, anecdotally, a little assertiveness can be a helpful thing to secure a referral.

Please, do PM me. I freely give out shineys for taking responsibility for your health and doing something positive that could change your life...you do not have to live with these things.

Spuddybean · 06/10/2012 21:21

Oh thanks for this thread. I am currently investigating what i can do. I recently had a bad birth and have been left double incontinent. I have a referral to physio in a few weeks and am clenching constantly, but am terrified i will be like this forever :(

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 06/10/2012 21:23

Hmm, may have to try to do the exercises instead of relying on gadgets then. Didn't get the hang of those weighted cones either. Thanks for setting them out so clearly, gussie.
I did hear on radio 4 that they'd need at least 6 months to work and don't always work anyway. Your evangelism has convinced me to give it a try.

gussiegrips · 06/10/2012 22:11

Spuddy - clenching is key. glad you are getting a referral.

Music and Dance - which radio 4 programme? I'll be onto them with my evangelism!

Must confess, I'm not a big fan of weighted cones. there is good evidence behind them (well, the aquaflex ones anyway, though, they all work along the same principle) but - given the function of the pelvic floor is to support the weight of all your guts, and, personally speaking, I have a fair bit of that, what difference will another couple of ounces make? I need my pelvic floor to support the neck of my bladder and whatnot, don't particularly need it to lift dumbells...and, if you want to weight it - well, aren't you doing that every time you eat a meal, or need a poo, or need a pee?

Dunno. Resistance and restoring functional postition make more sense to me.

But, that might be because one time I saw one of those cones rolling down the cereal aisle in Sainsburys....

edwinbear · 06/10/2012 22:18

I have to agree with gussie. I've had a rectocele and cystocele (bowel and bladder prolapse) since having ds 3 years ago. I've been putting off surgery as I wanted another baby and it's best to try and delay it if you plan on another vaginal birth. I have seen numerous GP's, gynaes, physios and nurses for smear tests etc and not one of them has even raised an eyebrow, even though I was young for a prolapse at 34 and unlucky to suffer one after a first birth. A prolapse is a far, far more common affliction than I had realised and I have had nothing but support and empathy from every healthcare professional I have discussed it with.

TanteRose · 07/10/2012 03:52

Bumping this for those in different time zones

< rocking clenching all over the world>

gussiegrips · 07/10/2012 12:14

Tante What was the name of that that weird rock dance Status Quo fans do? Where they put their hands on their hips and bend backwards and forwards at each other?

That is the new jedi pelvic floor move. Trampolines are demoted.

....and, I like it, I like it, I na na naa na, naa na na naa, wo-oh, clenching all over the world....

genius.

OnlyWantsOne · 07/10/2012 15:13

Suppose I should go and see my new GP then :(

TanteRose · 07/10/2012 15:21

you can do it, Only - don't be scared. Pick up the phone tomorrow morning and make an appointment.

aaaand, altogether now Grin

cocolepew · 07/10/2012 15:30

Don't put off going to your GP if pelvic floor exercises aren't helping. I had stress and urge incontinence after having the DDs. I had a prolapse and had TVT op tp sort it out.

I've recently had a hysterectomy and I am clenching for all I'm worth reading this thread Grin

SoleSource · 07/10/2012 17:32

I own my own Athenafem. GP sometimes loan them too, as a poster stated on another thread, here.

gussiegrips · 07/10/2012 19:57

coco thanks for that - takes an average of seven years for a woman to get around to seeking help. Seven years. Sheesh.

MrsMinerva Am musing over a wristband. Or, tena pad brooches with a giant red cross through the middle?

Birdsgottafly I agree. It is little short of a political disgrace that so many women are suffering. I don't say that lightly - "suffering " is not an exaggeration. Apart from the embarrassment and pain, there's a high incidence of depression in women with continence problems. And, the stress on a relationship when one of you doesn't much fancy sex because, well, what's the point, can't feel anything anyway. And then, consider the number of older women getting up to go the loo in the night who fall and break their hip...

Solesource that's interesting, I haven't come across GP's loaning out electrical stimulators. You've got to watch with the zappy things - you can do too much and wear out your wee woo woo. Be careful if you've got a prolapse before rushing out to get an electrical stimulator - they are really effective on women with very poor strength, but I'd recommend having a GP check that it's going to be helpful. And, remember, less is more. 15 - 20 mins is recommended for a reason - you don't want a burn up your speshul playce...

Tell you what bemuses me though - why do women put up with wetting ourselves? I really don't understand why we accept this is a reasonable way to live our lives.

Curious.

I wonder whether it's just that we are not very good at prioritising our needs. And, seeing as how drenching our gussets isn't going to kill us...well, must do something about that tomorrow...?

I'd be really grateful for some insights into this mystery. And, am resisting flicking my hair about whilst simpering "because, you're worth it"

Meanwhile, if you are looking for more info then have a look at my website (details on my profile, don't want to fall foul ofMN advertising) and get onto twitter. Do yer blardy exercises - hold for 10, 10 quick flicks and then that weird lift thingie up 3 floors and back down again.

Call it "mula banda" if it makes you feel better, I can't shake the mental image of a bunch of wee borrowers enjoying the novelty of not taking the stairs...

cocolepew · 07/10/2012 20:03

Gussie your profile isn't public.

AmberLeaf · 07/10/2012 20:17

Gussie its the shoulder bop Grin

Great thread and ive just done the 10 clench thingy!

gussiegrips · 07/10/2012 20:28

Pants. Hing oan.

shoulder bop? Isn't that what newborns do when their heads get all that heavy way all of a sudden?