Back history so I don't drip feed - 2 years ago I was good friends with one of the mums from school (friend A). She introduced me to her friend (friend B) and we socialised a few times together - only coffee after school runs and play times with our younger DCs.
We all shared a mutual hobby and agreed to meet up one evening, no concrete plans were made. One morning friend A asked if I was going to an arranged meeting at friend B's house that evening (to do with the hobby). I hadn't been invited by friend B - I felt a bit hurt that I'd been excluded but genuinely didn't make a big deal of it. Friend A knew how I felt and told Friend B that she'd hurt my feelings.
The reaction from Friend B was extraordinary. She went ballistic - to this day I cannot figure out why. Over the following weeks I was subjected to a torrent of abuse via phonecalls and text messages. Friend A 'sided' with Friend B and stopped talking to me. It turned into playground bully tactics - they would stand near me at the school gate and openly talk about me so I could hear them, I was followed home on a few occasions with taunts and name calling. They did this infront of two other friends, who were amazed at their ridiculousness.
In the end it got so bad that I spoke to the school about what was happening. These women were starting to behave like this infront of my DCs and accused my eldest of bullying (which she wasn't). For a good while I collected my DCs from a different school entrance so we didn't have to face this on a daily basis.
Eventually it fizzled out and they just ignored me (which was a relief!)
Fast forward to now - Friend B is helping at school. Rationally I know she won't do anything to my DCs. but I had to change my phone numbers because of her and had to avoid her every day to stop her abusive, toxic behaviour. I was really intimidated by her and my gut reaction to seeing her writing in my DCs reading record is that I don't want her anywhere near them or having any kind of window into our lives. I have had problems with anxiety in the past and her behaviour brought on panic attacks etc and I can't face feeling like that again. I'm not sure that this feeling is to do with the anxiety, if its because I've been feeling low / anxious since giving birth 3 months ago or because it is actually rational to react like this.
AIBU to ask school to not let this person read with my DCs (they are unsupervised doing so and I am worried about what else she will say while with my DC), or to have any involvement with my DCs education? (I think she may also be starting this term as a TA but not 100% sure).
Please be gentle....
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AIBU?
to ask school to not let this parent helper work with my DCs? (long, sorry!)
74 replies
WeAreSix · 05/10/2012 12:58
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