to have put dh straight.

[advance01]

So we have a lovely newborn dd. Obviously she wakes at night and takes a while to settle. I am breastfeeding and therefore dealing with all the night waking. For the 1st week or so dh slept on futon. However, now back in our bed as futon not as comfortable as bed.
The other night I was up feeding for the best part of 2 hours in the middle of the the night plus usual 11pm and 6 am.
Dh was overheard on phone to his mum saying dd must have slept well as I didn't hear her or maybe I slept well as I am so tired.
Just had to point out that no, dd and I did not have a good night.
WIBU

Express and make him do a night in the weekend - we do saturday night. I go sleep in a different room. Invariably get woken once (ds is not impressed first time he wakes up), but can go straight back to sleep. Helps dh bond with ds and appreciate his other nights much more ;)
Yanbu

FFS OhForDuckscake, lighten up lovey, maybe you need a bit more sleep I presume you read the bit about being deliberately provocative? I was on a bit of a wind up. Even though, if people wish to be martyrs and get up that is their choice.........

OhForDuckscake, lighten up lovey, you sound like you need a good nights in disturbed sleep I presume you read the bit about being deliberately provocative? I was on a bit of a wind up. Even though, if people wish to be martyrs and get up that is their choice.........and lets be honest, even those that wield chainsaws for a living can still do their bit, after all you weren't worrying too much about his health and safety whilst keeping him up whilst DTD

While I was BFing, I heard every snuffle from DS.

As soon as I stopped at 16mo, I started sleeping through and DH had to get up to settle him.

Llanbobl I'm with you.

I used to give DH a shove at baby stage - Your turn - and still do!! We never had the sleep agreements like others as we were both knackered, but we both have equal careers so it was fair.

I still just give a shove and say - DS1's duvet has fallen off your turn!! he's so sleepy he just falls out of bed plods across the landing and does it - best bit is in the morning he's forgotten.

CailinDana - I am going to suggest we have a routine of me going to bed at 9ish and dp bringing ds in at midnight and dp doing a morning feed at 7ish so i can have breakfast and a shower. The problem is he is he doesn't do the baby things properly (doesn't feed/change/settle him properly) so this weekend i am going to have to teach him. He didn't have any Pat leave with us so hasn't really got into a routine or got used to the practical aspects. I think he actually has no idea/is frightened a bit and is trying to put off the tasks. (he also loves his sleep - but so do i!)

Do NOT go down the 'he doesn't do it properly' route Spuddy, for the sake of your own sanity. He might not do it the same way as you would, but he needs to find his way or else you run the risk of ending up in a very negative pattern...

OP - we had a rule about not comparing sleep loss or gain. It never ended well so best not to do it. And any rows, nags or niggles before 7am didn't count.

I know what you mean Wilson. But he really doesn't do it properly! The baby has reflux and should be fed sitting up otherwise vomits and is pain, but DP insists on feeding him laying flat. When he holds him he doesn't support his head and has banged his head twice. When he feeds him he just gives him 2 oz and says he's done. He doesn't do up the nappy properly so everything escapes etc. He doesn't sterilise the bottles properly/for long enough. I woulddn't mind if it was just a different style but this is quite important stuff (i think anyway, maybe i'm being pfb!)

I bf, but with DS especially, who was a nightmare to get to sleep until well after 2 am most night, dh would sit and rock him to sleep for ages, while I was asleep first, then I would wake on and off for the rest of the night to feed. If he was having a particularly fussy night, dh would take him off into another room for a cpl hours so i could get sleep.

Even now they are older, if they are bad or wake in the night upset, we both get up to see to them, or we take turns, I have never had to kick him awake to see to them. Never occurred not to get him to help if one of them had been sick, which was ds every night for about 6 weeks at about 1 am when he was about 2.

Thank you for your responses. Dh works long days with a long commute so I am happy to do night wakings. I just want an acknowledgement for my lack of sleep. Again today the poor lamb was tired as dd had a bad night. Just had to point out that I haven't had a decent nights sleep for 3 weeks. (In hospital for a week)