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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to quietly point out to a teacher that the way she spells my daughters name is incorrect

110 replies

freemanbatch · 04/10/2012 22:41

I got a note today about an accident at school, the note was written by her class teacher and the spelling of her name was incorrect, I spoke to the teacher very quietly away from other parents to try and check that she did know that it was incorrect and it had simply been a mistake. There are different spellings of the name but we have always used the same one and DD is the only child with that name in the school. She almost shouted at me, to the point other parents turned to listen and said 'you are being very unreasonable expecting that we will know the exact spelling of every child's name why are you making a fuss?'

I really was quite surprised because all I had said was is this how her name appears on the register because the spelling is incorrect. I have heard other people complain about this teacher but I have never had a problem until today and it came as quite a surprise.

Was I wrong to point out the error? DD is a very young year 1 if that makes any difference to the answer.

OP posts:

BlueSkySinking · 04/10/2012 23:13

Her response is the problem, not the spelling mistake. Very rude teacher.

StuntGirl · 04/10/2012 23:14

I would have mentioned it.

I have an alternate - but still common - spelling variant of a name, and it is ALWAYS mis-spelled. Sometimes I just leave it and don't say anything because as you've found out some people can get a right attitude when you confront it!

I was studying for an NVQ a while ago and noticed my folder (given to me by my assessor) had the wrong spelling. I inwardly rolled my eyes and didn't take it any further, it seemed petty to complain about a folder. Close to the end of my course it happened to come up in conversation and my assessor froze like a rabbit in headlights. Turned out EVERYTHING they had for me had that spelling, meaning my certificates would, meaning they would be invalid as the name on the certificate wasn't me! He had to put a few swift calls in to make sure all my details were changed before the end of the course!

Original poster

freemanbatch · 04/10/2012 23:16

I am wondering if other people have been complaining to her not just about her and she is feeling a bit defensive or something or maybe some of the complaints have gone to the head. I don't know really I'm just glad that people here don't think I committed an awful offense by pointing it out.

Hopefully it won't be a problem again and things will settle for the teacher and all will be well

OP posts:

needanswers · 04/10/2012 23:17

I pulled everything with DS name on it off the walls in school, including where his coat hung, and crossed them out and wrote correct spelling on them, first thing he is being taught is how to write his name, so they need to get it right.

YouMayLogOut · 04/10/2012 23:20

YANBU. Her reaction sounds OTT.

MamaMumrOrangeTheGolden · 04/10/2012 23:24

Misspell her name and mispronounce it.

Original poster

freemanbatch · 04/10/2012 23:35

it had crossed my mind MAMA

OP posts:

LonelyCloud · 04/10/2012 23:43

YANBU.

Teachers are bound to get the spelling of names wrong from time to time, particularly if a name is unusual. It's certainly not unreasonable to point out a mistake, especially if you've got a year 1 child who's only just learning how to read and write.

The teacher's reaction was completely disproportionate. I would expect most teachers to apologise and check the spelling in the register, not get all stroppy and start yelling.

MammaTJisWearingGold · 04/10/2012 23:46

Not quite as bad as when my DN Sam started school. His teacher insisted on teaching him how to spell Samuel, not his name at all. The teacher would not have it from Sams own lips that his name was Sam not Samuel and my DSis had to go in and point out that he was right. He was registered as Sam and his name was there a Sam on everything, but the teacher thought they knew better.

ErrorError · 04/10/2012 23:59

Mamma that reminds me of someone who had a similar problem, "yes the name's Frank, no not a pet form of Francis, just Frank." Every single time (on official forms etc.)

Ozziegirly · 05/10/2012 06:00

My name can be correctly spelled a number of ways and I do think, just blimmin ask how I spell it, instead of giving me a vague guess of a name. This is why I went by the longer, only one way to spell it version, for a number of years.

Also, my surname is incredibly common and straightforward and yet the number of people who spell it Evens surprises me.

So yes, I agree, it's important to get these things right.

HecateHarshPants · 05/10/2012 06:21

you are not being unreasonable.

everyone gets my children's names wrong. Spelling and pronunciation. Now, at first I don't mind. They're weird ones. But the number of times my eldest has the last a in his name turned into an e is ridiculous and I keep telling them (school, gp, etc) and they keep doing it. It's when people will not accept that you know the spelling of your child's name cos, well, er, YOU NAMED THEM!!! grrr

It isn't a minor thing. It's someone's name. It doesn't get more important than that

I would complain about her attitude. She was being ridiculous.

Rosa · 05/10/2012 06:22

My dd has a common name in the Uk and unusual here. On her art and craft work it is often spelled wrong but they have spelt it how it would be written over here. When she progresses to writing if they get it wrong I will probably say something but otherwise right now I am not that bothered.

HecateHarshPants · 05/10/2012 06:26

Can I just say that the longer you leave it, the more difficult it will be to correct it. It will be on all letters and forms about her and once a spelling of a name is in The System, I promise you they ain't changing it! It doesn't matter how many people I correct, the letters etc keep on coming back e not a.

exoticfruits · 05/10/2012 06:35

Of course you were right to point it out. The teacher can easily get it wrong, but she should have apologised and corrected it from now on. It is a big thing- we have problems with the misspelling of our surname and have changed banks over the issue.

WofflingOn · 05/10/2012 06:38

'you are being very unreasonable expecting that we will know the exact spelling of every child's name why are you making a fuss?' '

That is completely unacceptable as a response.
It is rude, unnecessary and deeply stupid. Your name is a key part of your identity and it matters even more to most children that it is right.
It has happened to me a couple of times as a teacher, I've always written down the name the parent has said, then gone and checked with the official admittance paperwork in the office.
Sometimes there has been an email error, a class list provided has a spelling mistake. Sometimes the name has been changed slightly by the parent since admission.(We have a number of EAL pupils) Then I tell the parent what the reason was.
There are many reasons why a name might have an error in it, but the error should be corrected without fuss or
Either way, it can be easily changed on books, displays and other forms, even if othe official paperwork has to keep the proper name, correctly spelled.
I have a couple of names pencilled in my register if the child's formal name is not what they identify with.

whogivesaduck1 · 05/10/2012 06:38

i'd start calling her Ms. TwatFace, and when she says something start yelling at her that she is "'you are being very unreasonable expecting that I will know the exact pronounication of every teacher's name why are you making a fuss?"

that'll sooon shut her up!

McKayz · 05/10/2012 06:38

Mamma, that happened to my step brother. He's Gregg but one of his teachers kept telling him he was Gregory. In the end he was given a detention for lying to the teacher. My step dad went and had words after that.

50smellsofshite · 05/10/2012 06:42

YANBU it is a fundamental part of her job to know HER spellings.
I suggest she takes all the first names of the school children in her class and learns them this weekend. Surely this is the most basic of basic.

As an employer the job I took on last year, the previous manager did not know her spellings because she spelt almost every employee's name wrong on all records and in personnel files. Think Theresa/Teresa or Anna/Ana.
It's like she just guessed. So my first few months I was addressing people and writing to people and spelling their names wrong.

Every time I was corrected I was so apologetic. I am paid to know how to spell people's names as is your DC's teacher.

Unless your DC has committed some awful crime then I think it's always OK to bring it up.

She does sound defensive, I also wonder if this isn't the first time.

DizziDoll · 05/10/2012 06:45

My dd came home with a certificate for spelling her name so well. Except they had misspelled her name on the certificate .
It was replaced swiftly after a quiet word.

frikonastick · 05/10/2012 07:05

i have an aunt who refuses to spell my name the way it is.

eg, my name is jane. she insists that actually the correct spelling of jane is jayne. so thats how she writes it. on everything.

it doesnt bother me, because it makes her look stupid not me. but having said that, recently my boss has started spelling my name wrong too. i have told him a couple of times, but he has shrugged it off. I have pointed it out to him, but his response was a bit, so what? its not like my name is all that difficult or exotic either!

OHforDUCKScake · 05/10/2012 07:13

People are constantly spelling my sons name wrong, I correct, correct and correct again (mainly because its family and they should know by now) and I wouldnt stop at correcting the teacher. The very same teacher who would teach him how to spell his name.

YANBU

The teacher is BVU.

halcyondays · 05/10/2012 07:16

Yanbu, at that age in primary school. Different if it was secondary with lots of pupils.

MumToTheBoy · 05/10/2012 07:16

It is her responsibility as the class teacher to ensure the children's names are being spelt correctly. We have lists of names on each adults clipboard at my school to ensure things like that are done correctly. In the nursery with the brand new teenies I have made a class photo sheet with the name under the photo for the dinner ladies so they can return the correct children to me (!!) after lunch, and my 3 tas all found the photo sheet helpful too until we got to know them all really well. With names that are unique spellings of traditional names, plus African, Indian, Turkish, Irish and Russian names, we would obviously need a reminder of how to spell them but by the end of week 5 (which is where we are now) I would expect teachers to be able to spell them correctly. That is said as a member of the SLT.

SoupDragon · 05/10/2012 07:21

I did this with DS2's reception teacher as all the labels with his name on were spelt incorrectly. She apologised and redid them. When letters came home spelt wrongly it doesn't bother me as they tend to be one offs and the content is n=more important than his name being spelt correctly.

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