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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at this registrar?

33 replies

GrrrArghZzzz · 04/10/2012 17:15

Backstory: My DH has always been the SAHP, as due to a physical disability he hasn't worked since University; however, during my pregnancy my entire department was closed down. So we're unemployed at the moment (hopefully to change soon!).

I had a very difficult birth with DS2 (midwife told me I was the first person she had to press the emergency button twice for), so I sent DH to register the birth. All should have been fine and dandy. But when he got home, I noticed the occupation section was wrong. When I asked DH about it I got this story:

Basically, even though I know from DS1 that we didn't have to put an occupation down, the registrar with DH was quite forceful that he should put something down. She also wouldn't allow DH to be put down as Stay at home Dad or Stay at home Parent, apparently because I was not currently working. She told he he could put down as unemployed and I could be put down housewife or stay at home mum (why I can be one when he's unemployed but cannot be one when I'm unemployed is really annoying me). He said that would have to do as he hasn't done anything since University. She asked him what he did there and quickly finished everything else. She never asked what I did in University and apparently didn't want to hear what I had done previously as it's now what I've done most recently.

So the end result is that it lists DH as an archaeologist though he's never worked as one a day in his life and I'm put down as a housewife even though I'm very much not. I found this whole thing to be very strange. I tried to contact them, but all I got was they could add a note to the form but the current info would stand.

So AIBU to be annoyed by this? The obvious sexism has resulted in me having an inaccurate/dishonest certificate.

OP posts:
TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 05/10/2012 00:29

YANBU. How rubbish.

Happybunny12 · 05/10/2012 00:49

English Lit degree... What would that make me? Some would say a professional Looker-out-of-the-window...

CelineMcBean · 05/10/2012 00:55

I would be furious! Complain about the sexism as well as the inaccuracies.

This sort of thing is not that uncommon sadly. I remember a thread where somebody was listed as a "domestic servant" with her husband as the employer on their home insurance paperwork (although that was so ridiculous it was funny and was altered very quickly).

sarahbanshee · 05/10/2012 09:48

Surely stay at home parent (or homemaker or whatever) should be a option these days? Ludicrous if this is the policy - hope it is just the registrar getting the wrong end of the stick and a bit of retraining is all that is required.

Although as i did PPE I like the idea of being philosopher, politician, economist. Think I will add raconteur and balladeer to round it off...

bigmouthstrikesagain · 05/10/2012 09:54

That is ridiculous and insulting to you and your DH choices - I am sorry it happened clearly the Registrar was a dinosaur. Angry

I had a opposite experience when registering dd2 birth - as I we put DH occup down then I was asked and I said homemaker or whatever as I had been out of work environment for a few years by then. But the registrar (a woman) insisted I put down my most recent occupation. So it is down to the individual Registrar how they approach the form filling it seems.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 05/10/2012 11:24

I have a degree in acting but am a SAHM...I am going for "Hollywood Superstar and Arse Wiper"

HazleNutt · 05/10/2012 11:39

We had a lot of fun a couple of years ago when DH was just setting up his company, (had quit his job but technically not yet self-employed), but we were buying a house and filling out tons of forms. So every time someone asked for his occupation, we told them "househusband".

  • no, not possible, what was his last job?
  • why not possible? If I was not working, would you not put "housewife?"
  • well yes....but that's different!!
whogivesaduck1 · 05/10/2012 11:42

fab! i very half arseildy (?! SP) studied law for a level. i failed :( so i can be put down as a lawyer! woohho!

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