Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 8yo ds at home alone for 10-15mins

54 replies

bigmouthstrikesagain · 04/10/2012 15:00

Ds is my oldest pfb so I am honestly a bit unsure. I need to pick up dd1 from an after school club once a week at 4.30pm - the school is 5 min walk away. Ds 1 is always really unwilling to come - whines and moans then begs to be allowed to stay at home, as he is comfortable and happy to play on the PC or watch tv while I go out with dd2 (3) to get dd1 - I have always dragged him with me but I wondered whether to leave him this week.

I spoke to dh about it - he suggested consulting the MN hive brain.

So leave him - with a phone strapped to his wrist, access to door key and emergency numbers!!? Or continue to drag him along, or sign him up for an after school club on same day?

OP posts:
Original poster
bigmouthstrikesagain · 04/10/2012 16:06

Well as your name indicates that is just[your]view and no less valid for that I am glad to hear it. I am in the position that ds will have to go to school alone next year anyway (well with friends) and no roads to cross fortunately but still a scary prospect. So this is a process I have to engage with now.

OP posts:
flyoverthegoldenhill · 04/10/2012 16:07

justmyview how old then ?

LauraShigihara · 04/10/2012 16:08

My (very sensible) DS has been allowed to stay home for a short period since he was eight. He can never be bothered to get ready if I am just nipping down to the papershop or walking the dog round the block, so he stays home.

Unless I mention the word 'chocolate' of course.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 04/10/2012 16:09

I do it. Our mobile numbers are on speed dial and he knows how to use the phone, he loves to phone me. I never go anywhere that is further than about 5 mins walk away, so out for about 15 mins and never take the car, so delay getting back is unlikely. He stays on the sofa with his DS. He is generally unadventurous so unlikely to get into scrapes. Started at about 8.5.

WelshMaenad · 04/10/2012 16:11

Yup, I totally would, dependent on the child being if a trustworthy bent. I have left DD (6) to nip to the shop and back (2-3 mins) and would leave her for 10--5 minutes at 8.

Do you have a trustworthy neighbour you could speak to, let them know you're away for 1/4 hour, tell DS to call on them if a problem or you could ring them if delayed?

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 04/10/2012 16:12

Yes, I would do it. I used to let my eight year old walk to the shop (5 mins away and a road involved) as he was very sensible, streetwise and had good road sense.

I walked a mile to school with my brother ( ayear younger) aged 8.

dexter73 · 04/10/2012 19:38

My mum went back to work when I was 8 and my brother and I used to walk home (separately as we were at different schools) and she would get home at about 5.30. Guess we would be taken in by SS these days!

HeadfirstForHalos · 04/10/2012 20:15

If he is sensible enough then yes, let him. DS1 will be 9 in December and has been left at home (usually with dd1 aged 10) for short periods for a few months now. Most parents I know with similar aged children do the same.

Original poster
bigmouthstrikesagain · 10/10/2012 22:40

I went through all the emergency contacts, made sure ds could ring me from home phone and told him he could stay at home, he decided he wanted to come with me... he will stay at home next week. Wink or not...

OP posts:
kim147 · 10/10/2012 22:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

foofooyeah · 10/10/2012 22:48

I leave my 8 year old at home for a short while. My mobile on redial. Always stay local.

hmc · 10/10/2012 22:48

I wouldn't leave my 8 year old alone in these circumstances, but that's because he is a total noodle with not an ounce of common sense. Many 8 year olds would be fine though - entirely depends on the child. I occasionally leave my sensible 10 year old for 10- 15 minutes

bumblingbovine · 10/10/2012 23:03

Heh Heh, sounds like DS. If I go through emergency contacts etc he panics and comes with me even though he doesn't want to much. I have left him once a couple of months ago. I went to the shop which is 5 doors away to buy a pint of milk and bread and I couldn't get him to come. I was gone about 2 minutes. The shop really is practically next door and there was no-one in the shop so I ran in grabbed, paid and went back DS still talks about it now so although he seems OK with it at the time, he probably wasn't quite ready!

It all depends on the child I think but perfectly reasonably at this age for short periods of time I'd say.

flow4 · 10/10/2012 23:14

^What squeaky said.

MY own smartypants DS1 once pointed out to me how illogical I was being, fretting about leaving him home alone for a bit when I happily let him play out for longer Grin

aldiwhore · 10/10/2012 23:16

I'm not sure there's a right or wrong, but I plop my 8yr old in the car when he's ill and I have to do the school run. It's a tricky cusp age though, so I don't think it's always wrong to leave them for 10 minutes either. It's just something I'm comfortable with in my life, with my set up, in my village etc etc.,

Do what YOU feel is right.

ReallyTired · 10/10/2012 23:23

I can't see the problem. It is perfectly legal to have an eight year old walk to school by himself. The school might have a hissy fit, but many eight year olds do walk to school by themselves.

Ds walked to school from the start of year 4 when he was eight years old. Having an eight year old on his own in the house for ten minutes is relatively safe.

Way2Go · 11/10/2012 00:06

I would let an 8 year old DC stay on their own for a short while. It's fine Smile

nokidshere · 11/10/2012 00:11

I'm not sure there's a right or wrong, but I plop my 8yr old in the car when he's ill and I have to do the school run

Its different when they are ill though - I would never leave a sick child alone whatever age they are!

My (then) 9 year old was home feeling unwell and with a bit of a cough, didn't seem to be anything major. Within a few minutes of him being up he was struggling to breathe and I had to rush him to emergency! I dread to think what might have happened if I had gone off to do the school run that day.

Wingedharpy · 11/10/2012 03:18

But then, I wouldn't take a child struggling to breathe to emergency by car - I'd phone 999.
It may seem like a lifetime while waiting for them but odds are they'll get there quicker (and safer) than you can drive and they'll have some oxygen with them when they get there. (hopefully)
We're all different.

deleted203 · 11/10/2012 04:12

I must be a total wimp, because I don't think I would leave my child of 8 alone. I would be panicking that I might get hit by a bus or something and that he would be all alone for longer than I had intended. I think this is something only you can decide, TBH.

ripsishere · 11/10/2012 05:17

I ablsoutely would and have. I used to leave my DD for about 15 minutes while I drove my DH to school, turn round and take her in.
She knew she wasn't to open the front door, or try to cook anything,nor was she allowed to watch her DVD player with headphones on in case I tried to phone her.

nokidshere · 11/10/2012 08:05

But then, I wouldn't take a child struggling to breathe to emergency by car - I'd phone 999.
It may seem like a lifetime while waiting for them but odds are they'll get there quicker (and safer) than you can drive and they'll have some oxygen with them when they get there. (hopefully)
We're all different.

The hospital is less than 3 mins away from home - otherwise I wouldn't have done either.

exoticfruits · 11/10/2012 08:17

Yes of course he will be fine- if you are only 5mins walk away you could run home if necessary so the longest you could be would be 3 mins.
I knew someone would come along with the 'hit by a bus' scenario. If I was hit by a bus I would be very thankful that my DC was safe at home and wasn't hit or didn't witness it!!
Just have a neighbour or emergency number he could contact if something did happen so that you were not home and couldn't phone.
( we still have no mention of the axe murderer watching you leave!)

exoticfruits · 11/10/2012 08:18

It is actually good for them to have the responsibility. As long as they are sensible and happy to be left.

redskyatnight · 11/10/2012 09:35

LOL have done the same with my DS (agreed to leave him on his own for 10 minutes, then he decides to come). I think they like the idea that they "could" stay on their own, but perhaps when push comes to shover are not quite ready for it!