My mother comes to look after my 14 month old son two days a fortnight and travels 2 and a half hours to stay with us. She sometimes visits for weekends too with my stepdad.
She is FANTASIC with my son and has heaps of energy and love for him. He adores her too.
The problem began when she started feeding him cake and biscuits (she has an unhealthy diet) and giving him his dummy during the day and giving him proper glasses and bowls rather than his own plastic ones. I noticed he was getting a bit chubby (95th percentile) and asked her to cut back and offered alternative healthy treats for him. After seeing no improvement I asked her if she was still "spoiling" him and she took offence. She is also overly worried when he has a cold and picks him up all the time rather than encouraging him to play independently. She also doesn;t like my decision to send him to nursery two days a week because she thinks he will not get the love and attention he needs there. This is just silly as I have him all to myself on Fridays and together as a family at the weekends.
Its a long story so I'll keep to the main points. My mother was not a good parent after having me at only 19 years old. She hit me and abused me regularly. I have forgiven her for this because she has changed and is a wonderful generous grandmother and mother. But she does cross over boundaries and spoil my son so I find it difficult to manage his expectations.
Its almost as if my son is her "2nd chance" and she feels like he is hers. She was present at the birth because I asked her to be there.
She hasn't spoken to me for over a week now, despite my calls, because she is upset that I accused her of over feeding my son and thinks I am being generally snappy and difficult to get on with. I probably am, but I'm tired juggling a job and a child and trying to do my best even though I'm exhausted.
She now says she will only speak to me with my partner or her husband present which is typical dramiatic behaviour on her part.
AIBU to be fed up with this?
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AIBU?
To be angry at my mother for treating my 14 month old like her own child?
53 replies
AnnieDelores · 04/10/2012 13:19
OP posts:
TroublesomeEx ·
05/10/2012 13:19
Annie 
I hope you get it sorted out with her.
It sounds like she genuinely cares and you want her in your son's life. But there need to be boundaries and clear expectations.
And you need to be the one driving them.
Good luck. x
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