To think I can lose weight this way? Long, sorry...

[midori1999]

My diet is appalling. I want to lose weight but have tried various diets and healthy eating plans and cannot keep it up long term, I think because I want results too quickly, which I get, but I am so strict about what I eat when I diet it's not something that is sustainable long term.

I'm not huge, but am just into the obese category with a bmi of about 30-31. I am 5ft 7 ish and 13st. I do binge eat, I made a banana and caramel cake last week and ate half of it in one evening. I will also sometimes eat a whole tub of Ben and Jerrys in one sitting. I also tend, if we eat out, to 'need' three courses even if I am full after dinner, will order a meal at, say Mcdonalds and something extra, like a breakfast 'meal' then an extra hash brown. I feel embarrassed saying this. I skip meals then eat three bags of crisps later. The only reason I am not bigger is I am active, lots of walking my dogs, lots of DC to look after and am breastfeeding.

So, my plan it to eat more normally. I've been having porridge with skimmed milk for breakfast, albeit a large bowl. Lunch has been something like lentil and veg soup or a sandwich and then a proper dinner, such as curry and rice, stew, pasta, or if I am not very hungry, a sandwich. Snacks have been fruit, veg sticks or if I really fancy it a bar of choclate or small piece of cake, but only one. I've decided if I want a 'treat' I'll just have one, if I want a takeway I'll have one occasionally, but stop at one thing and also tyry and eat more to my hunger than for the sake of it. So far I have been doing this for a week (not long I know) and I have lost 2lb and I do feel like I am eating in a way that is long term sustainable as I am eating what I want pretty much. I feel that I may lose weight very slowly after the initial bit, but I am happy with that.

However, my Mum and my Dsis seem to think that I cannot lose weight this way. So AIBU?

Yes, you can lose weight that way. It will all be dependent on portion size though. See how you go for a few weeks. You may need to adjust portions/be stricter about snacks as you get closer to your goal weight.

What do your family think you need to do?

Nope you are not BU you are doing exactly the right thing. I would recommend trying to track your calorie intake just to make sure you aren't having too big portions, but if you can change your habit of skipping/binging you are half way there already! And remember - drink LOTS of water to make sure your "hunger" isn't actually thirst!

your new regime sounds sensible and healthy. good luck!

Yes, if you stick to it, and if your cake is occasional rather than daily, you will lose weight. Once you get into the habit of healthy eating, start to keep an eye on your portion sizes. Getting into the habit will break your sugar craving so keep you on track. Good luck!

You could be me even down to the height/weight bit.
I have started going ot the gym a lot but I still find it impossible to keep a sensible diet. I have decided that I am going to look at weight loss ove rthe much longer term. In other words I am not weighing myself until Christmas here and really trying to think about lifestyle. My theory is if it takes a year to come off it'll probably stay off. Oh, and I'm not baking any more

YADNBU. You are absolutely right to start off by eating "normal" meals, even if they might be larger portion sizes than you strictly should be having. Once you get into the habit of a) only eating "proper" meals and b) stopping eating when you are full rather than when the plate/bowl/tub is empty, you may want to reduce the actual amount.
I find myfitnesspal fantastic - you put in your height and weight and your goals (lose 1lb/2lb a week or just maintain your weight) and it tells you how many calories you should be having per day, which will increase with any exercise you do. You can then log everything you eat to keep track of your calories - it doesn't cost anything and it is fantastic - I started using it in the middle of July and have lost just short of 2 stone since then.
You've already got the right attitude, and as long as you're not expecting fast results you will succeed. Pop over to the weightloss thread if you like and join the Motivational Monday group - we're all very friendly, at various stages and massively supportive

YANBU, that sounds v v sensible.

The best way for me to break the diet-binge-diet-binge cycle is to eat every meal, and snack on fruit in between meals if I'm hungry.

Good luck and tell your mum and dsis to stuff it

That sounds about right, sustainable healthy eating, you need to be honest with yourself about what you are eating, how many treats and extras you have etc but I have lost over a stone in 8 weeks using a similar approach

You most definitely can lose weight that way.

I think not restricting yourself treat wise but keeping portions at a reasonable size (typically most peoples are way too big) is the best way. You don't feel deprived and I don't doubt you will start to feel more energetic and motivated once you see the results.

Drink loads. I hate water so only drink 1 litre of cucumber water per day but then drink around another 2 litres in green tea, fresh iced tea and squash (all sugar free) as well as cups of tea and coffee yes I piss like a camel

Personally I always find hot food helps me to feel full if I'm struggling as does trying to focus on my eating not shovelling it in while watching tv.

My general mantra is that 'it will still be there tomorrow'. So if you've realistically eaten enough for one day wait and really enjoy it tomorrow.

Sounds perfect, and exactly what i'm doing. I've lost about 25lbs now since start of July.

Have you considered weight watchers? It's such a great 'diet' which teaches you about portion control and healthy eating... And there are no restricted foods, and you never have to go hungry! Have lost loads of weight with it, including all my baby weight post DS. I used to yoyo diet, but found that the structure of ww was what I needed to stick to a diet. Good luck!

i have problems with binging on sweets, crisps and chocolate (amongst other things), and generally eating ridiculously portioned dinners.

I have started to lose weight by "eating normally", which to me means breakfast, lunch, dinner, one evening snack. No calorie or carb counting, but also not overloading my plate. I have also started couch to 5k. I have lost about half a stone in 4 weeks, which probably doesn't sound like much, but if I keep losing at the same rate it will be 1.5 stones by Christmas.

I think your method is a really good one actually. You are eating sensibly and not skipping meals or doing something extreme that can't be maintained. I have been doing something similar, paying particular attention to limiting my intake of refined carbs. I have lost 7lbs in about 6 weeks. I am really happy with that, especially since I have allowed myself "treats" when I really fancy them.

I can sympathise. I've been stuck being overweight for a while and wanting to do 'something', but never managing properly. I also like quick results! I did a 9 day detox which really helped me kickstart as I did get the results, and felt so much better which motivated me for the longer term. I also realised what hunger feels like, and how I actually never, never get hungry. I am more aware of when I'm full now and able to stop there. I have kept it up for 3 weeks now (I know it's not long), eating more healthily and the weight is dropping off. I've lost nearly 5kgs and a dress size. Most importantly I am enjoying it! I am eating lots of fats but not much carbohydrate (frankly, they're boring) and it is working for me.

The main things I am doing differently are:

• drinking a lot of water. 2 glasses 6x per day. This really clears stuff out. I was quite dehydrated before I think
• eating bigger snacks and smaller meals. Like carrots and houmous mid morning, nuts in the afternoon
• eating a lot less carbs. That includes all sweet things, sadly! I allow myself them sometimes, but it is not the all day of biscuits, yoghurts, puddings that I was doing. I only eat grains (rice, wheat, oats) or potatoes, once a day. I used to have porridge for breakfast, bread for lunch and rice/ potatoes/ pasta in the evening.
• I have Greek yoghurt and berries for brekkie or an omelette
• I eat my main meal at lunchtime now as I don't seem to be that hungry in the evening anymore.
• I have a couple of 'green smoothies' (google them) a week

I'd recommend finding out what works well for you. I am eating food that I like. I have reduced a lot of bloating from cutting a lot of the carbs plus I feel good, because I am seeing significant changes.

Thankyou.

My Mum and my DSis don't really say anything. My Mum is quite 'fattist' but even she says I don't look that big, not skinny but not fat and I suppose that is right in a way, I do carry the weight well, which makes it harder. If I looked obviously fat it might be easier. However, I mainly want to do it for health reasons.

I am not overly watching portion size for now, but I realise I may need to in the future. I want to avoid letting myself get hungry for now as I feel that's more important. I am doing things though like if I have stew and fancy dumplings, having two small ones instead of potatoes, does that sound ok>

I have to admit too that I have had a 'treat' most days this week, but it has been one thing per day and I am trying to choose lower calorie/fat versions where I can or stick to very small portions. If I stop losing weight I will reasess.

I have done My Fitness pal before and liked it, but I'm reluctant to do it for now as I want to avoid the whole mentality of dieting, even though that's what I'm really doing in a way. I will keep it in mind though as I may need it at some point.

I'm trying to drink more water, but at the moment have a dreadful pepsi max habit. One thing at a time maybe...

Yes it sounds fine to me. It may be relatively slow weight-loss compared with a crash diet, but that's not a bad thing. If you have a tendency to binge-eat, dieting is sometimes the worst thing you can do, and counter-productive in the long term.

'Listening' to my hunger/fullness works for me. I don't eat unless I'm hungry, and I stop when I'm starting to feel just comfortably full (not stuffed). It takes a while to get into the habit of this and for it to feel natural, but once you do...well, for me, it was the one thing that 'cured' my binge-eating. I can't stuff myself like I used to. I don't want to (and I never thought I'd be saying that).

KnockedUpMel, I have tried weight watchers before and slimming world. I was really hungry on weight watchers and I really like slimming world but I don't really like having the type of foods I eat restricted and on both of those I tend to obsess about food a bit, which is what I don't want.

CharlotteBronteSaurus, that's encouraging, thankyou. I'd be happy with half a stone a month if I felt like I wasn't restricting what I ate too much. In fact, I'd be happy with a couple of pounds a month if I could keep it up long term. It took me 15 years to get to this weight, so I should expect it to take a long time to lose weight again.

Heidihole, that's brilliant!

I am also trying to wait if I still feel hungry after food. I have a drink and then if I am still hungry I get something else. That seems to work, as I usually don't have anything else to eat.

I think its the best way to lose weight. Carry on as you are til you get used to eating 3 meals a day plus a small snack and it becomes a habit.
If you're losing weight then great, if your not losing then have a look at portion size and cals.

I've just started a nutrition/weight loss group. The emphasis was on drinking lots of herbal teas/water, eating every 3 or 4 hours to keep blood sugar levels OK, having much smaller carb portions with half a plate of veg (fruit is sugar), allowing the odd small unhealthy treat and proper exercise which raises your heart rate 3 or 4 hours a week.

I have lost over 4 stone this year by doing what you describe. I've stopped binging and will have a treat if I really want it but try to eat lots of healthy stuff. Much better to develop healthy habits than do a daft diet then revert back to the bad eating patterns. Well done you!

If it works, it works. I was on a diet once where I often ate my leftovers form dinner the next day at lunchtime. My mum kept going on about how she couldn't understand how you could lose weight eating two hot meals a day... Why the temperature makes any difference I don't know...

Fact is, what you are doing now is less than what you were eating before. And as you are active you are obviously creating a calorie deficit as you have lost weight. You have found from experience that a quick fix doesn't work, so this way seems sensible to me. As you lose weight, your calories requirements go down, so you may have to cut back a bit later on, but if you can do this sustainably, hopefully long term you will get to where you want to be!

It sounds great to me!

I'm intruiged as to what method your parents think would be better? As your current approach is the best and healthiest way of eating you've probably ever done... Good for you btw and I hope you can stick to it.

My BMI has varied from 21 to 24 (ie always in the healthy range so every pound lost has to be shaved off!) this is how I diet. The most important thing is to avoid being hungry as that is when you scoff 400 calories in 4 minutes.

The other thing I do is try and up my activity just a little. (So give the dogs a treat of a slightly longer walk, if you have 5minutes walk up and down the stairs 10 times etc.)

Good luck!