To alter DS1's party invite?

[EllenJaneisstillnotmyname]

OK, so STBEX H left a year ago after I found out about his OW. He has just recently moved in with OW and her DS into a large detached house and my DSs stay with them every other w/e and Tuesday teatimes. It's DS1's 14th birthday next week, closest to STBEX H's w/e so I suggested he might want to organise a birthday treat for DS1. (It's DS2's birthday this week and I've organised a friend to sleepover for that.) STBEX was fine with this and has arranged Go Karting for DS1 and 4 friends.

The DC are happy to see their dad and stay with him alt w/e s but don't want to extend it any more than that. We all still live in the house they have always lived in and their friends come here for tea etc. STBEX H dropped DS1 home after Explorers tonight with some invitations for his friends. He had hoped to give them all out at Explorers but 2 of them had already gone home, so DS brought them here. I couldn't resist a peek at them as they weren't in an envelope.

They read, 'Please come to DS's party on 14th October'

'Come to DS's house at 1.30 for Karting at 3.00. Then back for tea and stuff at DS's.'

Then a picture of a Go Kart and at the bottom in small print, STBEX's new address, email, home phone no and mobile no.

IABU to want to alter this to read, 'Please come to DS's dad's house?'

The friends have all been here, 2 are primary school friends since reception and have been here hundreds of times and the other 2 have also been here for tea/hanging out. They have never been to STBEX H's house and I am sure that they think of my house as being DS's.

I think they may come here by mistake. They all live within walking distance of my house, but STBEX H lives a couple of miles away across town.

I can't decide if IBU or if this invitation would read really strangely to others. Am I letting my emotional response get the better of me?

[EllenJaneisstillnotmyname]

Right, copied it pretty well. It's a rubbish invitation, BTW, crappy font, not centred, bah!

Just have to forge his writing for the names...

Can't resist circling the address, at least his friends will go to the right house, wouldn't want them to miss out.

I think MamaMimi is right, though. DS1 doesn't think of it as his home, but so long as he has a nice time there and is happy going there...

I think DS2 is happy there so long as there's a computer.

[porcamiseria]

sorry!!!! but pick you battles, and this is not one to pick. sorry. I bet it rankles xxxx


BE STRONG AND THE BETTER PERSON

[DeWe]

As another parent I'd probably be glad you altered it, and wouldn't occur to me you were being petty. If I got an invite to a child who I knew where they lived, I wouldn't necessarily look at the address if it said "home". it was very embarrassing and then I had to scrabble around to find the invite where the grandma's address was

[aldiwhore]

I would ring your STBEX and discuss it rather than changing it without even mentioning it... it doesn't have to say 'DS's dad's house' I think that's horrid, both homes are DS's (even if your home is 'home'). It's simply solved with a phone call and putting an address and phone number on there!

YANBU though, but I don't think it's worth falling out over.

[MMMarmite]

i think YABU, your house isn't just "DS's mum's house" is it? They're both his homes, or at least they should be - changing the wording of the invite is likely to seem really petty. I'd get DS to mention it to his friends, or draw an arrow pointing at the address so people notice it. Or discuss it with your son or your ex, rather than forging the names!

[EllenJaneisstillnotmyname]

I don't tend to discuss anything with ex on the phone or face to face. I have followed the consensus and merely circled the address.

I still think it's a bit odd to call it 'DS's house' without explanation to friends who have been to this house for the last 10 or so years, know that he lives here for the majority of the time and who have never been to this new house. But I will rise above it.

[WilsonFrickett]

[EllenJaneisstillnotmyname]

I only copied out the invitations because I'd already changed the originals to say DS's dad's house and realised I was BU. So they now look just like the originals, with an additional hand drawn circle around the address. I had to forge the handwritten names, is all, to ensure I didn't look petty if ex sees them.

[EllenJaneisstillnotmyname]

[MMMarmite]

Ah I see, sorry I was was being harsh. Hope your DS1 and DS2 have lovely birthdays.

[Hullygully]

i understand the urge, but you can't really...