aibu? a post about how much dinner money is acceptable for a yr 7 child...

[chimchar]

ds is nearly 12 and in year 7 and is exactly like kevin the teenager.. he's of average size.(if this matters for the purpose of my post!)

I give him £2.00 per day to buy lunch. he can get a fresh, filled baguette for £1.80. He takes from home a 500ml bottle of flavoured water and a chocolate/cereal bar as a snack.

we are having riots because he wants to buy a something (anything!) in the shop on the way home from school with his mates. the past few days i have relented and given him £2.50, and he has bought a can of cheap, sugary pop. its getting on my nerves though, so I have re thought the extra 50p...he doesn't need the pop...he still had drink left when he comes home. he thinks i am the meanest parent around.

money is not a huge issue, but it IS adding up and i could do without him spending it. I suggested him spending his pocket money on buying the crap/pop/sweets, and he hated me even more!

Am i being stingy? i am fully prepared to told if i am bu, but this is my first thread in AIBU, so please be gentle!

my older one (secondary age)has £20 per week to buy sch lunch, snacks at cadets (2x evenings per week) and sundries

teaches him to budget, he blew it on pop and sweets a few times before getting the hang of it

Ah...good tactic Raisin

(Takes notes for later on when DDs are bigger)

Mine get 20 a week for busfares (16 pw) and keep the rest for bits and pieces. Some weeks they end up with more if they are only on the bus 4 days as they are this week.

But they take a packed lunch so no food to be bought from that (except junk in the co-op on the way home!!)

I give my dd year 8 about £2.50 a day and £ 5 a week pocket money. I also pay for her mobile on contract it all adds up!

i'm back! so..a fair mix of opinions!

agree with the shop being part of the social thing...

can i ask those of you who think that £2.50 pocket money is tight and give your kids more, what do they need to buy with it?

ds does his gaming with mates, but gets a lift there and back, eats before he goes, and doesnt leave the shop...he has plenty of money for xmas and birthdays etc...and isn't yet at the stage of going out with his mates properly yet...will obviously provide him with more when that happens...

trying to feel my way here!

oh yeah..i pay for his phone too.

Ds1 is in year 8 and takes packed lunch 4 days a week and the other day gets something from the canteen. Usually portion of chips and a cup of tea We have a card system where you top up their card online with money whenever you want and they can use that instead of cash although canteen does still take cash. I put £10 per half term which is usually enough for what he wants. I couldn't afford for him to have £2-3 a day for lunch when his packed lunch costs me less than £1 a day.

He is supposed to get £5 a month pocket money ( yes a month!) but in reality we both tend to forget as he doesn't really go anywhere to spend money. When he gets older and more sociable I will re assess.

What's pocket money for if not to buy stuff like that?

I'd just stick with the pocket money and say this is life. You have to make choices based on your income. It's a good life lesson I'm giving you. Budget and prioritise.

re dinner money, mine get £15 each a week loaded onto their dinner money account (cashless system) . Max you can spend is £3 a day, sometimes they spend that, but mostly it's around the £2.20 mark. Every now and again they've built up enough credit for me to miss a week. and I buy chocolate, wine and magazines

re pocket money, my eldest (13) gets £6 a week and my youngest (12) gets £5. It goes directly into their bank accounts and they tend to save up for a big thing, eg a wii game or suchlike. I insist (while I still can ) that they 'spend a little, save a little' and encourage them to never withdraw more than half their savings.

I do the same as Raisin for secondary school age. £20 a week. This covers pocket money, lunches and anything else. Plus it gives them a choice of lunch in school. Baguette is £2 but jacket potato is more.

My dc's money also pays for makeup, cinema, mags, novelty tacky things. They also save up at times to get stuff I wouldn't necessarily get like yet another pair of shoes when they have loads, or yet another bag despite having a box load. They also have to use the money if they loose locker keys, school card etc. Since I introduced this, it was amazing how quickly they stopped loosing keys, cards, diaries and ties.

Pocket money is definitely for this sort of crap from the shop. Whether that means he needs more is up to you and your budget.

Yis do know that a filled baguette isn't filled with another baguette, those of you saying it isn't much lunch. It'll be filled with protein and salad, I would have thought obvious.

DS1 (15) gets £40 pocket money a month paid into his account. He usually downloads films, iTunes stuff.

DS2 (13) gets £24 a month into his account and he uses it to buy scooter/bike bits or will use some for lunch when he bikes over to one of the other villages on a weekend.

"filled baguette isn't filled with another baguette"

That made me laugh but how great would that be? mmmmm. [total bread head]

fucking awesome

"filled baguette isn't filled with another baguette"
fab!

freshly baked? melty butter? mmmmmmmm!

again. thanks for all your opinions...i'm still middle of the road i think..

is pocket money relative to your income do you think?

ds moaned that his mate gets a fiver a week and doesnt have to do jobs, but mum is a solicitor and dad is a barrister. they have a cleaner (jealous!). i have a craply paid job, but have more time at home with the kids so avoiding childcare costs. dh is self employed...times have been hard, and holds down a weekend job for extra income.

Well acording to my just turned 14 yr old his mates get a 'fiver a day for lunch' really?????
The school is good, but it is in an area that is, shall we say, And Im prob'ly going to blasted for this, not so good.
Make of that what you will.
I cant see most of the parents being able to afford to give their kids £5 a day for lunch!!
I certainly cant.. and we have 2 reasonableish incomes coming in..

Our income isn't much but I get the kids to buy any 'stuff' themselves and use the money for spending on holidays. (which just means its money they would have spent on them otherwise but I don't have to 'find' it iykwim)

I used to get £3 when i was at school, I used to buy hot chocolate and toast/roll at morning break, and lunch, then on fridays after school i would buy chips.

yanbu, if he buys baguettes he could maybe save the 20p's up for things but they are really not needed. Also, the point of pocket money is to spend on things he wants i.e. cans of pop etc.

my youngest is now 14 so he mainly saves his £5 pocket money for things like microsoft points, itunes vouchers and games.
He has grown out of the stage of wasting money on junk food and coke and eating junk just because he can.

I think with coke and junk on the way home from school is a stage they go through when they first start secondary and are getting their first taste of independance but within a couple of years they mature a bit and start seeing that if they waste their money then they lose out on other things.

My DS had £2 per day dinner money - never £10 on Monday as he would have spent it in the shop right up till Year 11 (just gone to college). There was always snacks in the house to top it up and I would buy drinks from the supermarket for him to take in each day. I did ask him as he got older if he needed anymore but he always said no.

However working a school that has breakfast available as well as break and lunch £2 per day may not be enough if he wants to get a slice of toast for example.

Mine do jobs - have a rota for bringing the washing down, setting the table, unloading/reloading the dishwasher. They also take their bedding off once a week so I can put fresh on.

They can earn extra, by mowing the lawns, washing/hoovering our cars and other odd jobs.

Thanks everyone. Will put my findings to dh tonight and come up with a decision!!

I'm thinking the idea of a pound or so extra plus the 20ps every day can go towards buying shite snacks on the way home.

My DS is 14 he gets £2.50 a day plus a filled baguette, I pay for his phone contract, I don't give pocket money and he has a paper round which gives him approx £20 a week.
I found when he was in year 7 he did spend his money on rubbish everyday whereas now he likes to sometimes have a hot drink or a bacon butty on the way to school with his mates, its just a social thing I think.

DD tried it on during the first few weeks in tear 7 where morning-break bacon rolls and slushy drinks are also available to buy using the pre-pay card.

She rang me on a Thursday to inform me that I had to put more money on her card in addition to the £12.50 I had already put on and I heard her friend saying My Mum puts ten pounds on and that lasts me the WHOLE WEEK - you're crap DD!

Meal-deals with baguettes are £1.60 so ten pound a week it is with a treat on Friday and everything else comes from her money.