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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think our lie-ins are inequal?

44 replies

familyfun · 02/10/2012 14:55

im a sahm, dp works full time.
mon-fri we are both up between 6 and 6.30 as dd2 wakes up early and dp is going to work.
so we agreed that on weekends and holidays we would split the lie-ins.

on dps lie-in, i take the dds down in our pjs so dp stays asleep, i feed them and keep them downstairs till dp wakes usually 9am, then i take them upstairs and dress them and me while dp gets a peaceful breakfast, then i play with the dds while dp gets dressed.

on my lie-in, he plonks dd2 in bed with me while he gets dressed so im fully awake as she is 22 months, he then feeds dds downstairs, when i get up he goes upstairs and messes about/tidies up a bit so im left with both dds while trying to eat, then as he is already dressed he stays downstairs alone while i take dds up to get us all dressed.

im probably being petty as i get a lie in but i hate that he wakes me instaed of taking dd2 down and i feed and dress the dds all week so wish he could at least dress one of them once at the weekend.

just feel like once im up i always have 2 dds with me and he goes about his day without worrying. if hes going to the doctors/dentist be books it after work and goes alone. if i have to go i take 2 dds with me. etc.

im whinging i know.

OP posts:

steppemum · 02/10/2012 23:14

oh scholes that is me. rarely up in the night with dcs any more. But desperate for an hour's peace with a cup of tea

CaliforniaLeaving · 03/10/2012 02:09

I'd give up. I gave up on lie in's many years ago and so did Dh. Loud hungry kids saw to that. It's not worth the hassle, so what we ended up doing was, if we feel really tired, go to bed early once in a while, at first I was skeptical, but strangely enough I'd wake up feeling like I had had a lie in. Latest I get now is about 7.30 on the weekends and I just can't sleep later anymore, Dd is quiet and doesn't make noise so I guess my body has outgrown the lie ins.

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/10/2012 03:01

California 7.30am is a lie in in our house. I was up at 5.40am this morning.

That is not the worst this week.

HeffalumpsAndGoldenWoozles · 03/10/2012 03:09

I could have written your post a year ago OP, around the time DD1 turned a year old and I was no longer bf in the mornings we agreed to a day each at the weekends but I was always wide awake by the time he'd got DD up and let her scramble all over me in bed for half an hour while he dozed off again, eventually getting up and taking hr downstairs while I lay there getting annoyed. I was always tempted to do as suggested and return the favour on his days but as she got a little older its just sort of sorted itself out, and although I'd like an uninterrupted sleep lie in occasionally I'm happy that both weekend mornings now she is allowed to come and snuggle between us for as long as she wants to, watch cbeebies while we doze and then whoever is in duty will get up once she announces "mummy, breakfast now". I think I've got the good deal now actually as on my days we get up have breakfast and play downstairs in our pjs until DH is up but in his days they go to the park and come back via Gregg's laden with chocolate croissants for my second breakfast DD2 was born at the weekend though so I suspect our carefully orchestrated lie ins are to be on hold for a while!

So I guess my advice is try not to get too worked up and as other posters have said do let him know as he may just not realise he's doing anything wrong.

Hope you get it sorted :)

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 03/10/2012 03:47

we are in a constant renegotiation of lie ins!

YANBU and you need to bring it up - I forsook the fact that I hate DC watching tv for hours in the morning for knowing if I let DH just get on with being the lazy bastard he is his way of doing thinsg, everyone is quiet and I actualy get to go back to sleep

HeffalumpsAndGoldenWoozles · 03/10/2012 04:42

I forgot - YANBU :)

Original poster

familyfun · 03/10/2012 14:36

i think its the first time ever that i havent been told iabu on here.

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/10/2012 14:52

Dammit, it's you familyfun YABU

MrsBethel · 03/10/2012 16:05

Yeah, nowt wrong wi wanting a proper lie-in. Just ask him and unless he's some sort of arsehole he'll do it.

Original poster

familyfun · 04/10/2012 13:36

thanks mrs tp, i feel at home now

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/10/2012 14:15

my work here is done.

MadBanners · 04/10/2012 14:30

We are currently involved in a delicate renegotiation of lie ins. We both used to work full time, and mine was always a Saturday, and his a Sunday. Although tbf on the days where I was on a late shift I would not have to get up till nine, as that is when my two wake up. He would be up at 7 as he is now, and if the kids did wake up earlier he would take them down, feed and water them then get me when he needed a shower. Lovely Man.

However I no longer work, as we had a big move for his job, so again, most days I am awake between half eight and half nine.

He now wants the Saturday, MY day, as the ringing of the nearby church bells keep him awake on a Sunday, and also if he does sleep later on a Sunday he struggles to sleep on the Sunday night. Now the church bells would not bother me, my lie ins now are not for sleep, they are for taking over the entire bed and reading and having a cpl of hours child free, which is the only child free time i get now!

However, Saturday is MY day, mine mine mine, it has been for years, and while I know we will end up swapping, I still feel the need for some acknowledgement of what I am giving up! And maybe a small gift. or three.....

margerykemp · 04/10/2012 14:41

Yanbu

Does he ever have both of them alone for a full day?

monkeysbignuts · 04/10/2012 15:00

yanbu! I have started crawling into my sons cabin bed if I am desperate for another hour lol. I am 39 weeks pregnant and not sleeping all that well, my husband some mornings (most at the weekend) turns over when the kids come to bed and goes to sleep. they are 5 & 3 so when they start fighting, normally after 5/10 minutes I get up with them.
my only peace is to get into my 5 year olds bed and shut the door!! Maybe try the same and he will get the message x

Original poster

familyfun · 05/10/2012 13:31

i dont think he has ever had them both for a day no. he has them 1 evening a week 6 till 8 while i go out so he baths them and puts them to bed. i had to start this as he was going out lots and i was always in.

OP posts:

BlueSkySinking · 05/10/2012 13:59

I think you explain how you would like your sleep in to be and then failing that, do what he normally does and let DD wake him etc.

Original poster

familyfun · 08/10/2012 21:41

success, told dp to put his clothes out and leave me to sleep, dd1 did pop in and ask me to take her to the toilet at 7 but then i sent her down to dp and dd2 and had a lie-in till 9, amazing!

OP posts:

mummy1986 · 08/10/2012 21:57

What is this foreign word you speak off? A lie in?!

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/10/2012 23:54

Hooray. Good for you. Sounds like the DC need trained too. Once you've got that sorted, you're gravy.

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