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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is ridiculous and petty?

67 replies

bellabreeze · 30/09/2012 22:56

My local co-op wont serve me alcohol while im with my 12 year old now.. tonight I went there just me and my 12 year old daughter and my youngest and he wouldn't serve me because I was with her. First he asked me for Id (I am 31) and then he said does she have any id? (Talking about my daughter) I said no she is 12 he said he can't serve me then and I said you must be joking she's my daughter the drink isnt for her obviously and he said sorry I would if I could etc. A similar thing happened there before when I had my 8 children with me and the woman on the till said I am going to have to ask for I.d for you (talking about my 12 year old daughter) but I was like she's my daughter blah blah and she accepted that and it was ok. This seems so stupid??? the time when the woman said it was ok was when I went to the till with my weekly shop but today I only had a few things so went to the 10 items or less or whatever it is. I was annoyed

OP posts:
IsSpringSprangedYet · 30/09/2012 23:27

I had this in Tesco when I was 20 and my brother (year younger) was with me. We'd got a couple of bits and some wine in my basket and we'd noticed the manager had clocked us two or three times as we were going round. Finally, I asked him if he could tell us where something was and he asked if we had ID for the wine. We didn't and he said we would need to put it back then. We gave him the whole basket and said not to worry about any of it then. He was fine. Just embarrassing really.

Jux · 30/09/2012 23:29

I'd demand to speak to the manager immediately and refuse to move from my place at the till until the manager had arrived.

I'm not aware of any law that says you have to be with adults only in order to buy alcohol.

Our local co-op haven't proved to be a problem, but we tend to buy alcohol elsewhere as it's so expensive there anyway.

5Foot5 · 30/09/2012 23:29

Would it be wrong of me to mention that I have twice bought own brand wine boxes from Tesco and when I go through the self service till it doesn't recognise it as alcohol and therefore dosn't insist on "Approval Needed"?

BTW I am 50 and they don't take a second look before clicking the "Looks over 25?" button - whether I am with or without my 16yo DD

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 30/09/2012 23:30

It's probably because any shop assistant who is found selling alcohol to anyone underage can now be fined personally, as well as the actual shop being fined. If the management drum into thier staff to Take No Chances, then they just won't risk you being a "plant" or a Trading Standards secret shopper and they refuse - it's easier on them to refuse people than it is to risk selling to someone underage and getting caught.
Any shop can refuse to serve any customer with any product so there's not a lot you can do about it, other than take your business elsewhere really.

5Foot5 · 30/09/2012 23:32

FloggingMolly "I'm just struggling with the idea of trooping eight children down to the off licence to buy booze. Why does it have to be a family outing?"

It was the co-op not the off lience and would you rather she left the eight children possibly unaccompanied while she did her shopping?

Original poster
bellabreeze · 30/09/2012 23:33

Floggingmolly I was doing my weekly shop at the supermarket so it makes sense to me

OP posts:
StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 30/09/2012 23:35

And yet 5foot5 I do need them to click the 'looks over 25' button for Becks Blue - alcohol free beer Hmm

BrittaPerry · 30/09/2012 23:40

I've been ID'd for becks blue too Hmm

Tbf, dh used o work in an offy. One night the staff member was a law student. The police sent a tall 17 year old in with stubble and broad shoulders to buy a bottle of mid range wine.

The staff member got sacked, fined and a criminal record.

So I have no problem with staff being mega cautious in general. The 12 year old thing is daft, though.

apostropheuse · 30/09/2012 23:40

My daughter and I were in Tesco a few years ago. She was twenty-three years old at the time. She had a bottle of NON-alcholic wine in her basket at the time (she was pregnant). The girl on the checkout refused to sell it to her asked her for ID, which she didn't have with her.

I then questioned why she would need to be IDd for something without any alcohol content and she said because she just had to. (Or something similar)

At this point I said fine, (daughter) give me the NON alcoholic wine and I'll put it through with my shopping, to which the check-out assistant told responded she wouldn't sell me it because I was buying it for my daughter.

I asked to see a supervisior. The supervisor looked at the checkout girl like she was insane and basically told her not to be so stupid. (That of course is me paraphrasing!)

The checkout girl just didn't want to back down when she realised she was being a bit daft!

pinkyp · 30/09/2012 23:49

Was ur daughter carrying it for you? The store might of had a recent under ages sale and needs to tighten its belt?

We get told to ask for I.d if they look under 25. We also get told to ask for I.d if we believe that the alcohol is possibly for a minor. The "signs" it says for this are: the minor carrying the alcohol, the minor seen passing money over to the adult, the minor pointing at the alcohol before then the adult picks it up, the minor waiting at the door, the adult buying alcohol out of character (by this it means the usual customer who buys his paper and carrots suddenly buys a bottle of wkd/cider etc when there's kids outside).

I wouldn't complain personally but I'd ask to speak to a manager and explain the situation and ask If he/she could brief the staff on this as its crap when when you can't buy alcohol when u bring ur kids. Hopefully it should get sorted.

iklboo · 30/09/2012 23:54

I got asked for ID the other week in Sainsburys. I'm 43.

5Foot5 · 01/10/2012 00:10

"Tbf, dh used o work in an offy. One night the staff member was a law student. The police sent a tall 17 year old in with stubble and broad shoulders to buy a bottle of mid range wine.

The staff member got sacked, fined and a criminal record."

I find that sort of thing awful. Really awful.

Of course it would be wrong to knowingly sell alcohol to children. But where it is so close to call like this case I think it is very unfair if someone had a decision to make and, very understandably, made the wrong one. Selling alcohol to someone who is clearly only about 15 should be treated differently to unwittingly selling alcohol to somone who appears to be in their 20s even though they are actually only 17 and 3/4. You would like to think the magistrates applied some common sense.

When I was at school a local cinema got busted for allowing under 18s in to see "Saturday Night Fever" - which was an 18 certificate. One of my friends was in the cinema at the time and was only 15. She had to go to the court case and was told to go dressed and made up exactly as she had been on the night. Just to be clear - she wasn't in trouble (at least not with the courts, her parents were another matter) But this to me shows a sensible approach in that the magistrates were trying to decide whether the cinema's defence held any water based on what the ticket seller saw on the night. Actually there is no way my friend would have passed for over 14 even when she was 15 so the cinema probably were at fault, but at least the magistrates were considering that POV

missymoomoomee · 01/10/2012 00:25

A lot of areas have a scheme now where the bottles are marked if the police catch a child with a bottle marked from a particular shop its a proper pita to go back through the receipts and cctv images to prove who bought it and then the police do extra checks ie sending in under age people to try and buy alcohol.

You can also risk losing your job (I'm unsure if you risk prosecution) if you reasonably suspect that alcohol will be passed on and sold it anyway.

It might not be the law but tbh I would rather be over enthusiasic about not serving someone and piss them off a bit than risk a fine/prosecution/losing my job.

LucieMay · 01/10/2012 00:32

Honestly, they're so much stricter with ID nowadays than they used to be. In the late 90s, we went clubbing from the ages of 15, replete with baby faces and dressed in dodgy underage clobber. NEVER got ID'd until I was 25! I'm 32 and have been id'd many times in the last few years, even for fags! I can't look a very convincing teenager because I can usually argue my way out of it. Having DS with me has the opposite effect- never been id'd while he's with me!

catgirl1976 · 01/10/2012 07:40

I havent hhad this issue but I do feel like a bad mummy when I fill up the back of DS's trike with vino and trundle off with him Grin

diddl · 01/10/2012 09:58

Surely only the ID of the person paying is needed?

Alphababe · 01/10/2012 10:01

Floggingmolly what a ridiculous stand point. Since when is popping into a shop a family outing. You don't get out much do you? PMPL!

ViviPru · 01/10/2012 10:04

I'd complain to head office. You'll get some vouchers fo'sho'

Flobbadobs · 01/10/2012 10:11

I was in the cue at our local Sainsburys and sent DS to the wine section to pick up a bottle that I'd forgotten, he brought it back, put it on the counter with the rest of the shopping and the assistant didn't bat an eyelid. He's 12 but looks about 15.
On the other hand my local co op refused to sell me some Calpol because I had no ID. I'm 36.

InfinityWelcomesCarefulDrivers · 01/10/2012 10:11

I m still trying to work out 8 children at the age of 31.... Surely some must be old enough to be left home alone

freddiefrog · 01/10/2012 10:13

Tbf, dh used o work in an offy. One night the staff member was a law student. The police sent a tall 17 year old in with stubble and broad shoulders to buy a bottle of mid range wine.

The staff member got sacked, fined and a criminal record.

That's quite bad actually, Trading Standards and the Police aren't supposed to use children who appear older than they are when they're doing test purchases.

I used to work in our village shop, and I hold my own personal licence so did quite a bit of training on it.

FredFredGeorge · 01/10/2012 10:18

Stop shopping there, let them know that's why you've removed your custom.

However they've presumably introduced the policy because of a genuine problem with people buying alcohol for minors and they do not need the hassle.

They have the right not to serve you (unless they're doing it for a discriminatory reason...)

dysfunctionalme · 01/10/2012 10:20

Oh we have the same rules at out alcohol stores, it's to stop minors getting older people to buy alcohol for them. You'll have to get her/them to wait outside.

Alphababe · 01/10/2012 10:24

Why does anyone need to work out 8 children by 31???! :-0 Maybe theres a few step children in there? It takes 9 months to have a baby and there is such a thing as multiple births. Maybe there was a set of twins. Do the maths! Jeez are people really that bored?

IShallWearMidnight · 01/10/2012 10:29

the DDs used to choose bottles of wine for me depending on whether they liked the pretty pictures on the front or not, or if it was"pink Barbie juice" Wink. Thankfully Safeways (as it was then) thought it was funny.

I'm 41 and I have never been asked for ID to prove my age (ID to prove I was a student, yes might have had to alter the DOB on that for the couple of months till I turned 18, age, no). Maybe I've always looked haggared Sad