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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that it's someone else's turn to be the fucking laundry fairy?

31 replies

poachedeggs · 30/09/2012 22:47

That's it really. I'm sick of it. I could just do my own and spend the rest of the newly freed up time doing other shit.

OP posts:
FunnysInLaJardin · 30/09/2012 22:51

you could ask DH, he's just spent the whole weekend catching up on the washing and ironing

WorraLiberty · 30/09/2012 22:52

Not enough info really OP

Do you live with another adult? Or older children who should be pulling their weight?

BlackholesAndRevelations · 30/09/2012 22:54

I hear ya OP. I've done six loads this weekend and have the last ones to put away/dry. Pisses me right off. The worst thing is when DP takes stuff off hangers, decides not to wear them, and leaves them lying around. He's like a fucking teenager. And if I say anything I'm moaning and/or nagging.

RedBlanket · 30/09/2012 22:55

I hear ya! I'm sitting up waiting for the washing machine to finish so I can put DS's football socks on the radiator for tomorrow's training. Everyone else is asleep in bed.

Original poster
poachedeggs · 30/09/2012 23:00

So, I've been up since 4.15am after an interrupted sleep (thanks DS), looked after a teething, tantruming misery of a toddler and an overtired hyperactive 5yo all day, including a four mile round trip on foot, cooked dinner, done the ironing, ordered the shopping, done the packed lunches, washed all the dishes, washed the pee soaked memory foam mattress topper (thanks DS) and done an endless mountain of laundry. I also have a cold and PMT.

DH got up at 4.45, did a 9 hour shift then sat around with the DC, ate dinner, cut the grass and then helped sort the pee out (including wrecking the airing cupboard trying to find fresh sheets, only a difficult task because he never actually puts anything in it), put his own clothes away (I draw the line at that) then sat watching TV all night. He also has a cold which appears to be resolving.

AIBU to think it would have been of him to help me?

OP posts:
Original poster
poachedeggs · 30/09/2012 23:03

I'll be back in the middle of the fucking night morning. Got to go now, he's coming to bed and I need to sigh and cough lots Wink

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 30/09/2012 23:04

Oh I don't know it looks as though you've both had a busy day.

I don't mind the laundry much as it's just bunging clothes in a machine and pressing a button.

I don't do much ironing either.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 30/09/2012 23:07

It's the drying and putting away, though, Worra. I've done many of the things OP has, and my DP has sat on his bum all afternoon watching sport.

WorraLiberty · 30/09/2012 23:12

Then that's kind of your own fault really.

I don't like putting clothes away so I make sure everyone puts their own away

But washing and drying is done by the machines here, not us.

Original poster
poachedeggs · 30/09/2012 23:12
OP posts:
Original poster
poachedeggs · 30/09/2012 23:14

Doesn't the folding and sorting take an age Worra? I have to put it all away as the DC are too little to do it sensibly. Plus I try to line dry what I can.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 30/09/2012 23:17

No not really?

I suppose cos I'm an old fart (43yrs) I still remember my Mum hand washing almost everything...then eventually getting a crappy top loading washing machine.

That really did make laundry a job and a half but now it's quite simple...to me anyway.

If I found it difficult though I would make sure DH did his share but then again, some couples have their own 'jobs' and I know a lot of women who won't take the rubbish out, mow the lawn or do any DIY.

If your situation isn't working for you, you need to tell him.

georgie22 · 30/09/2012 23:31

I feel your pain. I hate it all but especially the ironing and putting away. Dh does put his clothes away mostly but there is a shirt and polo shirt which have been moving on hangers from door to door upstairs for weeks, aaaarghh! I feel like I'm drowning in the mess of the house at the moment. If I comment it's always that I'm nagging.

theoldtrout01876 · 01/10/2012 00:02

I dont iron cos Im a slattern :o and very proud of it too. My old mum is horrified at me :o I get it straight from drier and fold it Tah Dah no iron needed,I dont even know where the damn thing is :o

everydayaschoolday · 01/10/2012 01:34

I have let go of my Fairy Laundry anger and am a much happier person. I'm practising Laundry Kharma - what goes around comes around. If he ever did my laundry then I'd do his too. Week 2 of laundry strike on DH about to commence Grin. I do mine and 2DC. He had to do 3 loads of his washing this weekend to have clean clothes for this week. Didn't question it - his wardrobe empty, the laundry basket full. I don't care if he does his washing or not, I am just content I'm not doing it Smile. And all is now well in the world...

AdoraBell · 01/10/2012 02:43

Well I've been Laundry Fairy here today, so I'm not fucking doin it, sorry and all thatGrin

Original poster
poachedeggs · 01/10/2012 06:16

The thing is, it isn't fair IMO.

He works FT but shifts so does 3 or 4 (8-11 hour long) shifts then has 2 or 3 days off. He has a 40 mile commute so that eats into his free time.

I work 20 hours within walking distance, do 90% of the cooking, 30% of the outdoor jobs, all of the school and childminder related tasks (letters, appointments, packed lunches, organising it all), 90% of the laundry plus 95% of the mornings (DD gets up between 4 and 5.30am). I do bins and any minor DIY I feel confident enough to do (and need done this decade).

DH often needs to sleep through the morning after a night shift for eg. But shifts running into the night count for ten days out of 35, plus seven mornings. So over half of the time he could be getting up, but he doesn't, even if I'm working that day and he's not.

Written down it seems even more unfair actually.

OP posts:
Original poster
poachedeggs · 01/10/2012 06:18

And I don't iron either but since DS started school I've had to start because nothing i can do to those little cotton polo shirts will sort them out!

OP posts:
Original poster
poachedeggs · 01/10/2012 06:22

And here I am with the cold he made a song and dance about, up with DD, washing machine on yet again, but both of us are working today. He was awake and would have got up if I'd asked but I have to ask like I'm asking for a fucking favour.

OP posts:
smornintime · 01/10/2012 06:34

Ah, I hate the having to ask part! You have my sympathy. Thankfully the ironing is a shared task here, but I do resent it when I hear..."are there any clean shirts/socks/pants anywhere?"
If you knew you were running low, why didn't you do something about it?

agnesf · 01/10/2012 06:45

Op - I feel your pain. We do not have dryer so washing takes ages as even if you could blast through the actual washing there is no point as nowhere to hang it and then just goes all smelly.

Result is that washing turns into marathon of drudgery.

DP does offer to help after much moaning by me but hangs up everything all creased & scrunched up/ washes stuff that is not dirty/ etc etc so in control freaky way I end up doing most of it myself.

DCs can put stuff away themselves but their idea of putting away is to just stuff evrything into any old drawer and I have to spend hours looking for it when they cannot find stuff 2 mins before we have to leave house for football/ school etc.

I feel the need to scrap family holiday this year and send whole family on intensive laundry skills course.

Tee2072 · 01/10/2012 07:25

I don't mind doing laundry as, like worra, it's all done by machine and I just have to fold and put away. Which I actually enjoy.

However, if there is something that needs doing that I can't do and I've ask my husband to do it and he hasn't done it and I ask him again and he accuse me of nagging? My reply is always "No, I'm asking you to live up to the commitments you made to help keep this house and this family running."

If people don't want to be 'nagged' they should do what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it.

SomeTosser · 01/10/2012 07:41

"are there clean work shirts"
"I haven't washed any"
"well WHY not?" this said in horror, shock and disbelief
"they're not in the laundry. Although there is one in the whites basket." (DP wears hi- vis)

The next day there's a giant pile in the right basket, and I am supplied with tea, love and he makes dinner.

Then I consider doing the laundry in a few days time.

panicnotanymore · 01/10/2012 07:53

H and I separated for a while, so he had to resume doing his own washing and ironing. When we got back together again he suddenly agreed to re-fit the kitchen so that the washing machine and dryer could be moved back inside (They are currently in a muddy outbuilding, which is a bundle of laughs in winter.) He has continued to do his own washing/ironing and cooking. My only suggestion is splitting up for a while until he remembers that magic housework fairies don't exist. Probably not all that helpful....

FutureNannyOgg · 01/10/2012 07:58

If you find a laundry fairy, can you send her my way?
I have a baby a toddler and DH who cant eat anything without getting it on his shirt and goes to the gym daily. So I have 2-3 sets of pukey baby clothes, DS1's stuff, my day clothes plus PJs (a pair a day due to milk/sick etc) DH's sweaty gym kit, work shirt, home clothes plus nappies, sheets, towels. At least one load a day.
I do it all because I SAH, but I won't put DHs away. Currently there are 2 big blue IKEA bags of his clothes not put away. I wouldnt mind, but he noisily rifles through it at 5.30 am looking for something to wear, and it spills out so I cant tell what is clean and what is discarded.
I might burn it.