AIBU to expect adults to say please and thank you..and how to get someone to say please and thank you?

[Itsgottabebags]

I have reason to use the "did you mean to be so rude" phrase but what I am interested in is to get ideas how to get someone to say please /thank you.

Don't say did you mean that to be rude it's rubbish!

It's all in the context op. is it a biggie or a smallie?

??

A little context might help.

just say in a sing song voice "Whadddya saaaay"

I say "what do you say?", and then pretend that I was in work mode (I'm a CM). It usually works though . I also hold on to DH's coffee until he says thankyou.

OMG Fanjo I think I love you!

You are the only person I've ever seen to say it's rubbish

And it is infact total rubbish and shite

Basically, if you ask someone if they meant to be so rude they're bound to ask if you've always been so sensitive?

Just on a day to day basis someone doesn't say please/thank you. For example asking to use something that doesn't belong to them. No please or thank you.

Yanbu to expect please and thank you.

The only people you can make say please and thank you are your own children.

Fair enough. I can't make someone say it but it is basic manners

I agree that 'did you mean to be so rude?' is pants.

OP I'm really hot on manners...probably because I'm very mannerly myself.

If someone asks to borrow something I'd say, "Would you like a side order of please with that?"

Is their first language English?/ culture White British?
I only ask because in some languages/cultures you can be perfectly polite without saying please and thank you...having said that I always say please and thank you when I'm not at home!

More helpfully I'd just make sure I said please and thank you excessively whenever you see them and eventually it should sink in!

There are no cultural issues

The thing is, when you visit a country one of the first things you should do is learn to say 'please, thank you, hello and goodbye' in that language.

Manners might not be so important in some other countries but they are here in the UK.

Like Riddo, I get DH to say please or thank you by not letting go of the cup of tea or whatever he asked for and looking at him expectantly, especially if DS is in the room as we all have to be polite to each other and modelling good manners is the best way to teach DS (and DH). I may even ask DH for the magic word :-)

I also get DS's friends to say please and thank you if they are a bit too cheeky about it (age 5).

Do you realise, that was/that you are being, rude is a better version? (In a blunt tone)

It's incredibly rude to correct someone else's bad manners, (I think)--

My (very senior) manager at work once came up to me and said "give me the finance figures". I just looked up at her and said, "Please". "Oh sorry, please give me the figures, Boris", she replied. I couldn't believe what I'd said; I was so used to dealing with my 3 year old at the time that it just came out. My manager always treated me much more respectfully after that though.

It's snarky to correct a stranger. Stick to worrying about immeadiate family.

It's shite worra. You just say back, erm did you mean to be a ........... Insert insult.

It drives me insane when people don't say please and thank you. It seems to be getting more common too.

Unfortunately there's not much you can do about it.

Boris I did exactly the same thing to someone when my kids were little!

It was just a reflex I think but it made them think about their lack of manners anyway

I live in a country where they don't have a word for please

My mum worked behind a bar when we were toddlers and she would hold onto the pint untill the person said thank you, maybe try sticky hands, if the person looks at you strange just look them in the eye and rais your eyebrows and say "thank you?"

Hmm - well, according to my brother I don't say 'Please' and 'Thank you' enough. However, IMO, saying 'Please' & 'Thank you' are a) not the only way to ask nicely nor show gratitude and b) using those words does not mean that you are asking nicely :)

I might say 'Could you pass me the bread :)'

BruisedFanjo - I do that too if people aren't polite The older I'm getting the louder I do it too!!

At ds1's nursery they sing a song about it, as far as I can gather it goes something like 'please and thank you, please and thank you, when we're given something, when we've given something, say please and thank you'

You could try singing it to the person in question...