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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think DS's headteacher is BU?

41 replies

Rumplepump · 28/09/2012 19:16

Ok, I realise I might sound like a pushy parent here and am looking for some perspective.

DS has just started Y3 and is the youngest in his class. They has elections for school councillor last week and DS and another boy (who he ran against two years ago) got to the 'interview' stage.... DS found out today he didn't 'pass' but the other boy did, he is devastated.

I understand disappointment is a part of life but the boy who won was councillor in year 1 too.... He is also almost a year older than DS. I just feel that the other boy would have done a lot better in the 'interview' due to his experience and being older and feel it is a little unfair, aibu?

OP posts:

Original poster

Rumplepump · 28/09/2012 20:03

I do think school should be a place where you get chances to try things and see what you're good at, even if it's only once

OP posts:

sookiesookie · 28/09/2012 20:04

Often the class picks 'unsuitable' choices because that is essentially a popularity contest.

I don't think it's fair to interview as then they aren't selected by their peers, which is the whole point of a school council
That is the point of YOUR school council, not all.

Also the OP is upset that her son didn't get 'a go', not at the system.

LynetteScavo · 28/09/2012 20:10

Well, if I ran a school children would only be school councilor once, and then other DC would have a chance.

But when it comes to year groups, I don't think ages can be taken into account. DD is a July birthday, and is expected to hold her own against girls who are turning 8 this weekend, while she hasn't been 7 for very long. She does a good job, even if she isn't school councilor this year. Neither are 27 other DC in the class.

MamaMumrOrangeTheGolden · 28/09/2012 20:35

OP I can see why you feel disappointed on your sons behalf, but I agree that you should both be encouraged at his popularity.

I would probably pick my battles with the HT - and it's not a bad thing to learn to be a gracious loser. My DS recently lost out on school counsellor and has now learnt not to vote for his opponent!

BabylonPI · 28/09/2012 20:38

YABU I'm afraid. My dd2 is a 31st August baby, and she is as forward and with it as the eldest children in her year group.

Your DS will face a lot of disappointment in life and I'm afraid you just need to accept that the other child interviewed better.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 28/09/2012 21:05

Good god. Am I reading this right? Get. Over. It. Sorry if that's harsh; I'm a primary teacher and this board is a real eye opener to me. I knew parents were ridiculous but now I have lots of proof. It's a YRAR THREE SCHOOL COUNCIL rep. Seriously. It's not going to have that much of an impact on his life. YABU. I agree that you should be teaching your son that it doesn't matter. even though it clearly does to you

pootlepootle · 28/09/2012 22:10

my first dd tried to be class rep every term that she was at the school. never got it. she was well fed up. 12 terms after the eldest joined the school my second dd started and got it at the first election.

now that was a fun walk home.........

lottiegarbanzo · 28/09/2012 22:17

If you happen to be in a class with some future Oxbridge superstar they may win everything and the other, extremely good children, who would win in another class, never do. Not fair but does happen.

LynetteScavo · 28/09/2012 23:06

Well, yes. DS has accepted he will never, ever do anything as well as one boy in his class who is very bright and naturally sported.

But oh, how DS laughed when they has school swimming lessons and said boy was in a class below him. Very few people are great at everything.

WorraLiberty · 28/09/2012 23:13

Exactly Lynette everyone will be good at something and it won't necessarily be what they'd rather be good at.

With most state schools having 25+ kids in the class, it's impossible to give everyone a turn at everything.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 28/09/2012 23:14

I think YANBU. It seems unfair to me.

LynetteScavo · 28/09/2012 23:14

I meant sporty.

But sported is quite a good word!

Backtobedlam · 28/09/2012 23:16

I actually dont think you are being unreasonable at all. They are in primary school not on the apprentice! Surely at primary they are trying to build confidence and inspire as many youngsters as they can, not just the select few. I don't think age should come into it, but I don't think the same person should be able to be school councillor more than once. It's not the real world or world of work, opportunities should be given to as many of them as possible.

harvestvestibule · 28/09/2012 23:55

I don't think the same child should get the job twice .Lets face it the job is nothing really is it? School isn't supposed to be like real life They should give as many kids as possible the chance. The sensible thing woul;d be that you can only stand for it if you haven't done it before and whoever gets the most votes wins.mestand for iy Give as many kids the opportunity as possible.

missingmumxox · 29/09/2012 00:05

Well, I wouldn't sweat on it and it occurs to me I haven't, in my Dts school they did this last week..or was it this week, cann't remember now,

After the main vote Dt2 was 2nd in his class, they take the top 2 apparently (remember I am getting this from them so could have it arse way up) go onto the council, the 2nd "does the writing" which is why he was told that the 3rd choice would be doing it (who happens to be our neighbour daughter and a child of a teacher at the school)
he was talked to by someone I think the DHT? but it's had to concentrate with 2 of them gabbling at you and he was extremely chuffed to be second, but matter of fact about the fact he could not do the job because he can't read or write (he is dyslexic and getting help)
now the thing is there are many reasons I could say AIBU on this on face value, he was second, teachers child gets it, this makes it 1 boy,1 girl from the class, dyslexia but bottom line is I got this from my boys and they have been known to stretch a story, as in I would not be suprised to find he was 3rd or he wasn't nominated...
I forgot this information almost immediately after I was told it, and only from your post actually remembered to tell DH.

OH! and bottom line it doesn't matter, don't let it eat you up,

BackforGood · 29/09/2012 00:14

It's OK to feel a bit sad with your ds, but you really need to get some perspective here.
It's a role as school councillor. The other boy had a bit more of the je ne sais quois needed to be chosen this time. It's got nothing to do with his age. My dd1 is an October birthday, and, despite trying 3 years in a row, never got selected when at Primary. It's part of life's rich learning experiences.

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