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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's not worth risking your life to save a pet?

208 replies

Liketochat1 · 28/09/2012 18:22

A few weeks ago a young rugby star, his father and brother died after his dad jumped in a slurry pit to save the family dog. Earlier this week a mum and her partner died jumping into a river to save their dog. They died and the dog survived. Are pets worth this risk?

OP posts:
TheRealAmyFarrahFowler · 29/09/2012 01:33

My cat is here biting my typing fingers and I love him as much as I love any human.
People are different and have different feelings and different strengths of feelings.
It's no-one's place to say anyone else's feelings are wrong or ridiculous. They are not chosen or controllable.
Road kill makes me sad; other people swerve to hit the vermin.

I donate monthly to an animal charity; other people donate to human charities.
We can't help what pulls our heartstrings.
I would save my cat - and any animal in distress/ danger - in a heartbeat. I know not everyone would but that's ok.

I would not critisize you for jumping in a frozen lake after your child, you shouldn't critisize me for jumping in after my cat. Just because you cannot appreciate my feelings for him does not mean they are not very real to me.
And to say that comparing feelings for children and pets is ridiculous/offensive/stupid just shows a lack of awareness of the differences in human emotions and attachments. People are allowed to have the same strength of feeling for their pet(s) that you have for your child - you don't have an exclusive right to intense feelings of love.

TheCatInTheHairnet · 29/09/2012 01:45

I think the point is that pretty much every person who has dived in after their pet, probably didn't realise that their own life was in danger. They were too busy worrying about the danger their pet was in.

It is only with hindsight that you can look at what, at the time, seems a pretty simple answer to a problem and say, Jeeze, that was dumb!

FizzyLaces · 29/09/2012 01:47

Could you be any more horrible in the wake of these tragedies? Is nothing off limits? Unbelievable, some people are fucking horrible.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmm · 29/09/2012 02:02

I love my dog as much as my DC's. Just in a different way.

Extrospektiv · 29/09/2012 02:13

From a detached perspective, one should care more about those human beings who depend on you than any animal- I am not among the few (usually philosophy professors and/or militant vegans) who believe this "speciesism" thing that animals are somehow equal to people.

But to criticise the actions of an individual who died acting out of a sudden rush of emotion to save a pet they were deeply attached to, and could not be expected to calculate all this, is deeply insensitive and I would feel doubly wrong to do so when I don't own a pet.

cynner · 29/09/2012 02:48

I wrecked my auto swerving to avoid a fox. I hit a tree, and received a head injury. It was instinctive, and insane. My dh was furious, after he knew I was going to be fine. He kept repeating how terrible it would have been for our children to have lost their mother because of an animal. I adore my four cats, but realise I cannot risk leaving my dc motherless for them.

LST · 29/09/2012 07:47

I don't think I'd have a choice. My pets are part of my family too. That's the way I am.

OrangeFireandGoldashes · 29/09/2012 08:27

I don't have biological children of my own. I have a dog I absolutely adore. I think (fortunately haven't been tested) that I would do anything short of putting my life at risk to try to save him. I prefer to avoid putting him at risk of getting into such a situation.

One thing I do know - much as I utterly adore him, if he and someone else's child, even a complete stranger's, got into the same difficulty at the same time, I would try to save the child first. On another forum we had this debate and some said they would save their pet first, which, animal-lover though I am, truly made me Shock.

aurynne · 29/09/2012 08:42

I am in complete agreement with OrangeFireandGoldAshes. I don't have children, and my partner and I have a dog. However, I have no doubt at all about who i love more, and my dog wouldn't stand a chance if I had to choose between saving her or saving my partner. Equally, I appreciate human life more than animals, and I would try to save a stranger before I would save my pet.

However, I also understand and accept not everyone has the same feelings, and do not feel horrified or shocked that some people love their pets more than other people. I do love my dog more than many other people. And if a particular person I do not like was in danger, I mat veer for my pet :P

aurynne · 29/09/2012 08:43

*may

VisionaryGoat · 29/09/2012 08:51

As many others have suggested, nobody stands there watching disaster unfold and rationally thinks: "Oh my pet is in distress, I will probably lose my own life if I attempt to save them, but I will try anyway."

Most people probably leap in acting purely on instinct, and those who do think before they act... well, don't people always move through life with the expectation: "It won't happen to me, bad things happen to other poor sods - not me and mine."

Most of us don't anticipate that we or our loved ones (be they furry, feathered or fleshy) will be the ones who will suffer a terrible fate. Nobody expects to fail and die when they attempt a rescue or hardly anyone would try, they go in thinking they will be successful, because the alternative just hasn't occurred to them as being relevant to them (failing and dying happens to other people - right?)

Would I try to save my animals if they were in difficulties in water or trapped by fire? I don't know. I have never been unfortunate enough to face that choice. I love my animals dearly, they are wonderful companions who have been a comfort to me over the years, and I hate the idea of them suffering so I might well make that reckless plunge.

YoloOrTwice · 29/09/2012 08:59

A lot of these incidents could have been avoided if owners kept their dogs on a lead in dangerous or precarious places.

You wouldn't let a child near a flooded river, edge of a cliff, near a slurry pit so why risk your animal?

I am a dog lover and would do anything i could to protect them like keeping them on the lead or giving them a road walk when the river is at a dangerous level.

as for jumping in to their rescue i don't think thats an answer anyone could give until it happened to them.

what has happened is awful and so many lives have been destroyed. i do feel for the families and their loved ones.

amillionyears · 29/09/2012 09:47

Gently saying to those of you with children,you are vital to their lives.

Some of you may have come from homes where your mothers or fathers behaved less than perfectly to you.
But you to your own children,they need you and love you.

bochead · 29/09/2012 11:18

No I wouldn't risk leaving my son an orphan under any circumstances. I'm a lone parent so my worst nightmare for my change averse ASD sweetie is that he grows up in a succession of care homes. I had papers drawn up allocating his guardianship in the event of my death before I'd left the hospital with him.

Having said that - dog leads can be obtained from the £1 shop round here, so I'm constantly amazed at the no of fookwits in my inner city are who saunter along main roads with their best friend off lead. The best trained dog can be startled into dashing under a bus.

I agree with the poster above about taking sensible walking routes too. I had a dear friend who fell to his death cliff walking at Uni so guess it may have made me more risk aware than some.

I have no idea how people say they care for their pets yet refuse to take the simplest of precautions to keep them safe in the first incidence.

I would try and save my dog, without putting myself at risk if the worst happened. I trained as a lifeguard eons ago and the first thing we were all taught is that you are no use to anyone in a rescue situation dead! Mind you that training is part of why I would take the dog to some of these locations you read about in the flipping first place!

HappyAsChips · 29/09/2012 11:37

There is no way in hell I would risk my life to save a pet, and I wouldn't want my Dh to either (though I know he wouldn't). If you have Dc's why would you risk leaving them without a parent for the sake of a dog or cat fgs?

Also, I don't understand people who say they love their cats/dogs as much as their Dcs Hmm. I've had dogs and cats and my children are infinitely more important than them.

I understand that pets are loved and viewed as members of the family, but risk your very life to save them? Bonkers.

Ratata · 29/09/2012 11:56

YABU I would definitely risk my life for my pet. They are part of my family. It's instinct though. If my dog fell in a river I would be the first to jump in after him. My dog once went to far out to sea, went and got the wee bugger back. He's normally fine in the sea but the current started to take him. Then there was the time we wandered onto a seagull nesting area by mistake. Poor thing started being attacked by seagulls. Mama to the rescue again! Had no idea there were nests in the area. Hardly life threatening but I didn't care for my own life at the time. Can see the headlines now woman pecked to death by seagulls while saving pet

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmm · 29/09/2012 18:31

The most i've had to face is dragging a dog out of the canal by its collar lol
I keep them on a lead in unknown areas or ones i know have dangers.

But in a house fire or similar, someone would have to stop me going in to get my boy out.

If it was a choice between my dog and a strangers' child, i know 100% that i would let go of the dog but i would be devastated.

redwallday · 29/09/2012 19:40

We had this conversation recently and both agreed that if the dog got into difficulty in water when out that neither of us would go in after him. We would try and help obviously and fetch help ASAP but he would have to fend for himself. At the end of the day we have two DC and being there did then is far more important then the dog.

redwallday · 29/09/2012 19:41

**being there for them!

AnOldieButNotSoGoody · 29/09/2012 19:48

No I wouldn't risk my LIFE for my dog.

Not a chance on earth.

I love my dog, she's a molly coddled, pampered pooch who is part of our family but my children need me more than I need my dog.

MrsRobertDuvallHasRosacea · 29/09/2012 20:07

Interesting post cynner...something smilar happened to me today.
Driving down a road, 20mile zone, a dog ran straight out on the road.
I slammed the brakes on, didn't swerve to avoid it as I would have caused an accident.

Luckily, I stopped in time...dog ran off down the road.

I have a cat but would not put my life in danger trying to rescue it.

elastamum · 29/09/2012 20:07

YABU. In the heat of the moment I dont think people stop and look at it rationally. A week ago I unloaded a womans horse from a broken down car and trailer stranded across a very dangerous A road so we could get them off and avoid them being hit by a car. It wasnt until afterwards that I considered how dangerous a thing it was to do on a main road at rush hour.

A lorry driver and a motorcyclist also stopped and helped to warn drivers to slow down and then pushed the trailer off the road, but everyone else was too hell bent on getting home to care. The poor woman was so scared she just sobbed as she couldnt do anything on her own. We could have just ignored her, but it might not only have been her horse that got hurt. What made me angry was the number of people who didnt even try to slow down but just drove round her.

elastamum · 29/09/2012 20:09

And I KNOW from experience how dangerous horses can be in fast traffic

Ormiriathomimus · 30/09/2012 19:41

"How did this get to a thread about pets v children"

Because it's mumsnet and some people on here genuinely don't think it is possible to love your children and care about animals. It's a weird sort of mentality but there seem to be quite a lot of posters who think that way.

Ormiriathomimus · 30/09/2012 19:41

"How did this get to a thread about pets v children"

Because it's mumsnet and some people on here genuinely don't think it is possible to love your children and care about animals. It's a weird sort of mentality but there seem to be quite a lot of posters who think that way.