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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Be P***** Off at yet another expensive school trip

852 replies

meah · 28/09/2012 12:58

Hi, my ds has is now starting yr 9 & dd yr 8, in yr 7 a school trip was offered but cost was in the £300s (i forget exactly how much) being so expensive i couldn't afford it and it left both kids gutted when well over half of the kids in their yr got to go. ive just recieved another school trip email (not sure which yr not that it matters) offering a ski holiday trip, abroad for 6 nights for £680. which would be fantastic if i where loaded!! Why cant schools offer school trips that are affordable to all like they're supposed to instead of making those whos parents cant afford it feel left out!!! Angry

OP posts:
YouMayLogOut · 29/09/2012 20:59

If there are trips abroad etc. then these should be made especially accessible to those who wouldn't normally have access to these experiences through family holidays etc. That's the opposite to giving the "haves" even more.

GnomeDePlume · 29/09/2012 21:04

but if they go through the school, then they will go with a group of people they know which is infinitely more preferable.

I dont agree that going with a group of school fellows is infinitely more preferable to going alone but then perhaps I was an odd child (PGL veteran).

Any road up if you want your kids to go on holiday with a group then sort it out yourself. It will give you more choice and anyway the school should not be acting as your social secretary. It is still a holiday and should be nothing to do with the school.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 29/09/2012 21:10

For my ds who has Aspergers and many children like him who have a whole myriad of social and emotional reasons, I can assure you that 'going with a group of school fellows is infinitely more preferable to going alone'.

GnomeDePlume · 29/09/2012 21:22

If it is a holiday and not a part of the curriculum then I still say the school should not be sorting your holidays for you. If a number of like-minded parents want their children to go on holiday together then there is nothing to stop them arranging this. If anything this will give parents more choice to choose who to invite.

If it is a part of your DS's education then that is different as has been said many times on this thread and should be available to all.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 29/09/2012 21:27

School ski trips are now billed are courses complete with learning intentions. Our school offered these. The school competed in the annual UK school C'ships (this was a bog standard comp not any kind of selective school) and won them. Why shouldn't schools offer children the opportunity to get good at a sport?

difficultpickle · 29/09/2012 21:40

I went to a state school. If ds wants to go skiing with the school I'd happily let him go. The last thing I'd want is to go skiing with him, 30 of his friends and their parents Hmm.

Gnome what if your dcs want to ski and you don't know anyone else who wants to and you don't want to. What do you do then (assuming you can afford a skiing holiday in the first place)?

difficultpickle · 29/09/2012 21:42

Golf was offered as a sporting activity at my school. I couldn't go as daddy wasn't the member of the local club. Horse riding was also offered but you had to arrange to get to the stables and my mother worked Shock so I couldn't get there.

GnomeDePlume · 29/09/2012 21:49

bisjo, probably something like this:

www.pgl.co.uk/PGLWeb/individuals/holidays/SkiingandSnowboarding.htm

As a child I went on a couple of PGL holidays because my parents didnt 'do' holidays. I predate the growth in these types of trips being sold as educational. Having looked at the detail they are still pretty much the same as I went on 30+ years ago.

GnomeDePlume · 29/09/2012 21:55

The thing is that if you book it yourself you can shop around and get what you want not what the school wants.

OhSiena · 29/09/2012 21:56

ovenchips thanks for that. I felt like a very lone voice for a while, good to know someone somewhere was nodding!

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 29/09/2012 21:57

If it is a part of your DS's education then that is different as has been said many times on this thread and should be available to all

There is more to education than the things you can get a GCSE grade for. You have to draw a line between what every child is rightfully entitled to from the state, and something that is just beneficial.

There is no doubt that children do gain from these trips. Why people wouldn't want as many young people as possible to do something that is beneficial to them is beyond me.

ovenchips · 29/09/2012 22:00

ohsiena

tapahdc · 29/09/2012 22:02

I saw some places I never would of had the opportunity to if it hadn't been for school trips abroard as my family didn't travel. No I didn't get to go on all that were offered but appreciated the ones I was able to. I think schools offering residential trips is fantastic and should definatly continue.

It's not easy feeling your letting your child down by saying no to something but I think this helps them understand the value of money.

difficultpickle · 29/09/2012 22:03

There is nothing to stop you organising something yourself even if the school organise a trip. It is hard enough to organise a night out with other parents let alone a week's holiday. I love skiing but couldn't go last year as I wasn't well (we had been the year before but I couldn't ski due to being unwell and I was bored witless and ds missed skiing with me). At the moment a school ski trip would be the only way ds could go skiing (he's too young though).

GnomeDePlume · 29/09/2012 22:03

The problem is that expensive trips are only available to those who can afford them not those who will benefit from them. These are not necessarily the same groups.

This is a bit like work experience opportunities. The people who would really benefit are the people who dont have a relative who can sort a plum placement.

GnomeDePlume · 29/09/2012 22:07

I have also been nodding in agreement ohsiena.

adeucalione · 29/09/2012 22:16

I waved off a great many school trips and always thought 'too bad I can't go, lucky them, hope they have a brilliant time'. I certainly never felt inferior in any way, probably because my parents presented the situation in a positive way rather than moaning about the unfairness and inequality of life.

I can't help but think that some of the parents on this thread are projecting their own views onto their children, to their detriment actually.

Floggingmolly · 29/09/2012 22:17

Must be exhausting, all this nodding...

ovenchips · 29/09/2012 22:24

FloggingMolly. You're absolutely right - nodding through the 50,000 pages or so of this thread takes it out of one. I will lie down immediately. Smile

Floggingmolly · 29/09/2012 22:26
Smile
MissPerception · 29/09/2012 23:36

OhSiena - I've skim read this but completely agree with you and am quite at some of the posters who I usually think of as quite sensible...

Shame that you seem to have been a lone (sensible) voice out there.

exoticfruits · 30/09/2012 08:46

She may be a lone voice but she isn't sensible!

To recap- because maybe I am missing something.

If a family is wealthy the can pay for the best of private schools and they can not only have their own holidays on their yacht and skiing,keep ponies etc but because the school is a private it can offer any extra imaginable- in fact that is why they are chosen by the wealthy family.
At the same school are families who are not wealthy, they have a very modest lifestyle, in fact more modest than most because they have given up on holidays, eating out, a new car so that they can afford the school fees. They never do any of the extras because they can't afford it and in addition they have to listen to all the stories of a lifestyle way out of their own experience. However this doesn't matter that they are poor because their parents actively chose to put them in that position and if they don't like it they can leave.
You have a huge range of family backgrounds but you don't care that some children feel poor and are disadvantaged because their parents chose it and they could always go to the state system where they would be relatively well off with all the school fees money at their disposal. If they have a bursary they are just jolly lucky and have to accept they are the poor relation and the extras are not for the likes of them.

In the state system you get most of the rest- 97% of children. A huge cross section from those with lots of money who choose not to use private education for all manner of reasons, those who have lots of money but have no interest in education, down to those who have no money because they are in debt or on benefits- again a multitude of reasons. Maybe they are drug addicts, maybe they run expensive cars, buy their DCs designer gear, give them their own laptop, maybe they live a very modest lifestyle because they are saving to take up the extra educational opportunities, university etc etc etc. In fact that 97% represents the whole of human experience BUT because it is state education you have to go down to the lowest common denominator. You can't offer a trip to the war graves in France when you study WW1, you can't offer a German exchange to help with German lessons, you can't offer a field trip to Iceland for Geography, a trip to the National Gallery for Art, or even a character building week at an outdoor centre because some parents can't afford it, some parents don't want to afford it, some parents don't trust the risk assessment, some parents couldn't give a damn and will shove the letter straight in the bin, some parents say ' we can do that- you don't need to do it with the school', some parents want them to go but the DC won't, there are only 30 places and some will be disappointed - therefore schools can't offer it. Children in the state system turn up at 9am and leave at 3:30 (or similar) and get the basics because anything else is unfair. They can manage with pictures of Iceland because only the few who are in private education, and can afford the extras are offered a trip to see it for themselves.
Education with extras is for the tiny elite.Hmm

Is this the summary - or am I misunderstanding?

If I am correct I am thoroughly glad that state schools don't see it that way- they market themselves by the extras, the trips, the orchestra, school productions, taking part in sports teams etc and the things that cost money.

I also think it very unfair that when I have saved a mountain of money at the baby stage with second hand everything, not lavished laptops,TVs etc on them, drive a very modest car etc - I then can't spend it on the things that I really want to spend it on- all the extras that state education offers.
This is absolutely denied to me because if I used it to buy private education I couldn't afford the extras anyway!
Neither could I do it myself because when DS1did the war graves, for example, I had a baby and toddler.
DS2 certainly wouldn't have gone alone with a company that specialised - he managed it because he knew everyone.
Anyway - what is the difference between going with a private company and talking about it and going with the school and talking about it? Children will have different experiences it is life . I didn't go on lots of things. My DCs didn't go on everything offered. It was never the issue that people make it out to be.

Communism didn't work! This is what it appears to be to me. Everything on a plate for a tiny elite and drab greyness for everyone else. No point in working and aspiring because you can't get anything better.

OhSiena · 30/09/2012 08:57

You are misunderstanding.

Not to mention, warping, conflating and extrapolating.

exoticfruits · 30/09/2012 09:16

Could you explain in simple points then?

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 30/09/2012 09:30

Yes please, please do explain why, for example, the bullying arse Ariel describes should be able to scupper things for scores of children, for years to come.

Also, I've yet to read any posts which explain why it's OK for schools to charge hundreds for music tuition, but not for skiing (sorry if I've missed any - this thread has grown).

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