to ask him to turn this down in his own home?

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

I live in a block of flats where our door and our neighbours' door open onto a shared staircase and there's about a metre of space between them. The doors aren't terribly soundproof since they're normal interior doors, not exterior ones. I then have a tiny vestibule and another door between that and my main room.

Neighbour plays some kind of computer game something like 8-10 hours of the day. At the moment he's been playing for an hour or so and it's so loud I can hear it clearly when I'm sitting as far away as I can be. It's not appallingly loud, it's just tedious having constant background noise.

WIBU to ask him to turn it down? I've done this previously when he decided to start sweeping up the mess his builders had made on the communal steps and left his door open so he could hear his TV while he worked, and he was fairly angry, but did do it. DH tends to reckon this is part of living in a flat, but it's getting me down.

Yanbu for wanting to ask to turn it down, but it is also part of living in a flat. We live in a flat at the moment and our upstairs neighbours are particularly noisy - to us. Noise travels so easy. They probably don't realise how noisy it sounds and that we hear everything.

We can often hear their tv over ours in the evening as we turn ours quite low which is annoying when we watch the same program as theirs seems to be a few seconds behind so we have a funny echo. I am starting to get used to it now.

Yeah .. you're probably right!

I've lived here since 2009, it's not that I'm only just getting used to it, but he seems to have got louder and louder and to be playing for longer and longer.

Your TV echo was drive me nuts! Maybe I'm just not very patient.

Oh and if he had been making noise since 7am definatley say something most places that are privatley rented usually have 8-8 or 9-9 of no noise.

It's not privately rented. I don't know if that makes a difference.

I've never heard of that DeathMetalMum.

When you say they have 8-8 of no noise do you mean it's in the tenancy agreement or that it's an unspoken rule?

Personally I would try asking, politely. He probably doesn't realise you can hear it. I would be very apologetic and blame it on the construction of the flats, not him!

If that doesn't work, then invest in some big speakers, and play your own music louder than his.

Buy him some headphones? That would drive me insane. DSs playing computer games and the relentless noise drives me mad but at least I can tell them to turn it down. What is he playing? COD I bet.

I think yabu unless you ate doing something that requires silence (like sleeping)

Well, DH went and asked because it was annoying him. He couldn't even hear DH knocking the first four times! So it must be pretty loud. He has said 'alright' but barely turned it down, so I assume he is quite deaf.

Ah well, we tried. I'm glad you didn't all get up in arms telling me I was being totally rude, anyway.

auf - oh, it's absolutely the fault of the way the flats are made.

honey - at 7am, yes, DH was sleeping.

aufaniae

I used to have that little lag in my old house if DH was watching a channel downstairs on terrestrial and I was watching it upstairs on Sky. It's small but intensely irritating - something to do with how the signals travel etc.

I don't know if that's what the OP is getting though.

But you said dh thought it was just part of living in a flat. I ment if you were doing something requiring silence.

He must be a strange man to be waking up at 7 to play computer games all day.

It was in our tenancy agreement but it was set out by the company who owned and maintained the whole building, reminders on the notice board etc. Obviously 8pm through until 8am. The hours may have been different I can't remember fully.
There were a mix of professionals and students im the building so I guess overall it was to deter parties through the night.

If he's a football game fan FIFA 13 is out today.

Probably playing all night, honeytea. When they're hooked, that's what they do.

this would actually slowly drive me mad. i cannot think over background noise

You could try hanging heavy curtains across the doors to block some sound.
I've seen some in some of the charity shops. Or a thick blanket.
That noise would drive me nuts!

honey - yes, DH said it was part of living in a flat. He did then go ask the bloke to turn it down, because he'd been asleep at 7 and he'd like to be able to get a bit more sleep.

I think the guy is quite strange (he enjoys sitting out naked on his balcony and obviously doesn't realize you can see in from the towpath outside). But, each to his own. I don't care other than that it is annoying.

bewitched - thanks, that's a good idea! We have a door snake but that's it.

Is there anything you can do to sound insulate a bit? Would a thick curtain over your door do anything do you think?
Or something along these lines?

or <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?num=10&hl=en&authuser=0&biw=1441&bih=688&tbm=isch&tbnid=jQpc5QnFH-7GxM:&imgrefurl=www.sleepearmuffs.com/Foam-Ear-Plugs.html&docid=k7RPRl-A42VhFM&imgurl=www.sleepearmuffs.com/images/foam-ear-plugs.jpg&w=300&h=300&ei=pldlULquD9Cr0AWN54DICA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=768&vpy=328&dur=146&hovh=225&hovw=225&tx=126&ty=233&sig=106267571530913114151&page=1&tbnh=167&tbnw=163&start=0&ndsp=12&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:0,i:171" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">these and print out <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?start=277&hl=en&authuser=0&biw=1441&bih=688&tbm=isch&tbnid=fzkSWRHEWV0k-M:&imgrefurl=blog.gcsagents.com/2012/01/13/turn-down-the-noise-when-customers-complain/&docid=W6retFnxETvM1M&imgurl=blog.gcsagents.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/noisey1-300x284.jpg&w=300&h=284&ei=FlhlULHmB4eo0AXq8oD4Dw&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=170&sig=106267571530913114151&page=12&tbnh=152&tbnw=188&ndsp=25&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:277,i:12&tx=124&ty=78" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this for your door

We can't put a seal in katisha - rented flat. I think I can put some curtain up and it'd be warmer too.

Anyway: joy of joys, he has gone out!

I love that infinity.

Can you not speak to the landlord about a seal? It would be an mprovement to his/her property?

I had to ask 3 times before the couple upstairs did something about their music.

They weren't playing it especially loudly and it was only in the day, but at they had their speakers on their wooden floor it amplified.

It took me ages to complain the first time, as I didn't want to be arsey. And I was really polite about it. I made it clear I wasn't actually asking them to turn it down, just to move their speakers off the floor. She agreed and then didn't do it. Eventually I got him and he did it straight away. Shame there isn't a more reasonable partner to deal with for you LRD.

She didn't have bad taste in music, but she did occasionally play modern, inferior (IMO) remixes of classic tunes. I would amuse myself then by putting the original on, much louder than her (This was after I'd asked her to move the speakers.) This was one in particular I remember - reggae classic (actually that one's a remix too, but I'm getting pedantic now!)

It started again when she had a baby. Couldn't hear the baby crying(or if I did it didn't bother me, I can't remember now). But she used to play the same, inane, twee, absolutely rubbish kids CD on loop to her baby. It was awful! I swore when I had a baby I'd play them music that was actually decent, and thankfully I've stuck to that!

But I digress! I think it it's annoying you, you should ask again, if you think you can do it without antagonising him (might be tough if he's easily antagonised?)

I'd wait until he was doing it at an unsociable hour again so you have the moral high ground, and then be super apologetic, you're so sorry to have to come and bother him again, it's a such a shame the walls are so bad, but the noise means you can't sleep. Be nice. Unless he's a total arsehole, how can he have a problem with that?

No, I mean, the LL has already said no. I don't quite understand why but it's fair enough.

auf - speakers ona wooden floor?! Ouch!

It's funny, my other neighbour regularly has loud parties with lots of Bob Marley playing, people out on the balcony making a racket. But they don't bother me because the noise is human noise and/or music, it's not a constant battery of mechanical 'rrraaagh/crash/bang' noises from a game. My issue, I know.

LRD I don't think it is you being over-sensitive at all, it isn't simply "your issue" you're suffering noise pollution!