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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU about length of journey to school??

74 replies

Shellywelly1973 · 27/09/2012 23:46

Genuine AIBU?
I am currently in the process of looking at secondary schools for my 11 year old,year6 dd. Is a journey of an hour too far to expect a child to travel to school each day? We live in London & the journey would involve 2 buses or a tube&bus...

OP posts:

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 28/09/2012 10:02

I had an hour journey to college at 17 and tbh it bloody depressed me....especially in winter.

Original poster

Shellywelly1973 · 28/09/2012 12:07

Thank you for all the responses!!

The school is in an affluent part of London so unless we win the lottery, moving closer is not an option!

The applications for secondry school have to be submitted by the end of the month so i have time to view more schools. The journey is only about20/30 mins by car. I estimated an hour and have checked on TFL website(50min).

I have seen girls locally in the uniform. The intake is wide North,west&central London.

I think reading all your responses has made me realise its about finding a solution that my dd is happy with. Possibly she will end up traveling a long way to school but i will exhaust all other options first.

Thankyou MN !!

OP posts:

KitCat26 · 28/09/2012 12:27

I used to travel an hour each way on a school bus aged 4.5 years. It was pretty awful and exhausting.

But an hour each way at 11 years was pretty standard for a lot of my friends at secondary school (catholic). The catchment area was pretty huge.

But as you say, journeys frequently take a lot less time by car, its the stops that take up so much time.

AllPastYears · 28/09/2012 12:43

I travelled about an hour each way, on 2 buses, when I went to secondary school 30 years ago. It was fine, and I liked the independence.

However, it was a worry when choosing schools for my daughters. The school they go to is an hour by public transport (though usually less as they often get the school bus) - it was only a issue for me though, we discussed it with the kids and neither considered it to be a downside.

QueenMaeve · 28/09/2012 13:22

Next year Ds will be travelling 10 minutes in with me in the car then getting bus for 40 mins up to school. There are 2 buses packed making the same journey.

jeee · 28/09/2012 13:27

DD1 has just started secondary school. I was less than keen on her first choice. I loved the school (it just felt 'right' IYSWIM), but had serious reservations about journey time (25 mins to station, 30 mins train ride, 10 mins walk the other end). I made her do a trial run on a cold October morning last year. She still wanted the school, so DH and I reluctantly agreed.

I don't know how it will feel in a couple of months when the novelty wears off, but thee weeks into term DD1 is totally happy. And the journey isn't as bad as I thought it might be.

I think if the school is right, it's a do-able journey for your DD.

daytoday · 28/09/2012 16:55

It all depends on whether the school offers enough benefits to justify.

My own school journey was way over 1 hour. I bus, two trains. But in return we got so many fields, space, stream running through. My parents grew up in London, I grew up in London.

It had no Real impact on my social life. Lots of kids travelled to this school.

I've just done a similar thing with my eldest.

List the schools positives and list the negatives. If the only negative is distance, go for it.

BlueSkySinking · 28/09/2012 17:06

An hour on one or two things yes, An hour on three of four things (cars buses) no.

Adversecamber · 28/09/2012 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

randomfennel · 28/09/2012 17:14

I would say no, on the basis that I loathe commuting, so does DP, we go to great lengths to shorten our journey time, and so I wouldn't think it was right for a child either. 2 hrs a day lost, every day. (different if you're walking or cycling, IMO, cos that's exercise and we all need that).

I know it's a bit different in London but even so, I think people massively underestimate the health and mental health costs of long commutes for adults or for children.

Dozer · 28/09/2012 17:19

I commute to london and even with just one train and no tube it's pretty tiring and miserable, it just eats up time, although know is what lots of people, including young people, do here.

Maybe do the journey she'd be doing, at the times she'd be doing it, to see what it's like?

coldcupoftea · 28/09/2012 17:21

I did this- we went to a catholic grammar school, the only one in the city we grew up in. 2 buses each way, at least an hours journey. There were lots of kids on the bus so it was actually quite good fun, I made good friends and relaxed on the journey home, or did homework or smoked on the top deck in sixth form

wimblehorse · 28/09/2012 18:54

I did this for secondary school. 2 buses and a walk, an hour door to door. Was for a grammar school so a fair amount of homework. Still did music after school clubs 2x per week too. Did miss out on seeing local friends in the week.
Don't rule it out if you think she is sensible enough to manage journey. Is there anyone she could travel with?

sarahtigh · 28/09/2012 19:43

lots of children in remote rural areas travel miles by bus it will be 10 miles to secondary for DD; but some kids are coming from 35-40 miles away

clam · 28/09/2012 19:51

When we were "choosing" we decided against an outstanding school a fair distance away as we considered the fact that many of their friends could be as far away in the opposite direction of the school from us. We could therefore imagine ourselves spending even more time ferrying them about to friends' houses/social meet-ups etc..

It's bad enough now, where everyone lives within 5 minutes (in the car) of each other, but the biggest plus is that they can also walk!

RaspberryLemonPavlova · 28/09/2012 22:13

My DC go to a rural school, their journey is ok, about 40 mins door to door. Many children have a journey of an hour plus, some on 2 buses and this is if for their catchment school!

My Dcs main problem is their instruments (multiple and large) so I do meet the bus sometimes and save them the ten minute walk at this end.

marriedinwhite · 28/09/2012 22:24

Better the journey for the right school than a compromise for the wrong school. DD initially went to a school that took her less than 10 minutes to get to. We compromised; for two years it was a disaster and she was more unhappy than I could have imagined. We now leave at 7.30 and I drop her for the school bus. She gets to school at about 8.25. She does two/three after school activities a week and at least once a week I do a 40ish mile round trip to collect her from school. She has to stay until 5.45 those nights, even if the activity ends at 5ish because I can't get there sooner because of work and she can't get home on public transport. It is worth every minute of travelling for her and for me because it is the right school and she is happy.

Scholes34 · 28/09/2012 22:29

Used to live in London. This is one of the reasons we moved away. DCs currently have 5 minute cycle ride to school.

It's important to have friends from school living close by. It could be your catchment comes out to where you live and therefore there'll be friends close by. I do think it's a long time to be travelling though - time is precious.

crackcrackcrak · 28/09/2012 22:40

Otoh it's a big old commute. Otoh I'd be considering it for my kids in that situation - tour local
Options sound dreadful and quite risky.
Could you drive them in some days or look at car shares?

lunchbox · 28/09/2012 22:46

I did a 3 hr round trip to school in yr7, not something I'd recommend, I lost a huge amount of weight, was exhausted.

The bus times/route changed in yr8, so only hour each way on bus, there were loads of us doing it and was fine, but it was just one bus serving school kids, was a great social life for everyone do journey was fun, which made a difference.

Devora · 28/09/2012 22:51

I think lots of London children do an hour commute each way - I know I used to.

I don't think it's ideal, and am hoping my dc will go to the secondary 10 mins walk from us. But I would rather they travelled for an hour than went to a school that made them unhappy.

numptymark1 · 28/09/2012 22:53

DD will be getting on the school bus (at the end of the road) at 7.10 and will be dropped back at 4.50 (if she gets in)

I worry about the commute but it's door to door service and she can have breakfast at school once she gets there

public transport is another thing altogether

CecilyP · 29/09/2012 15:29

If you have to apply be the end of October, does that give you time to try out the journey, on the coldest wettest day, preferably carrying a bag full of homework? If you could try it either side of the clocks going back, it might give you an idea of doing each journey in the dark.

Abra1d · 29/09/2012 15:33

Both mine have had an hour each way to school since they were about 12.

Doesn't particularly seem to bother them.

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