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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to agree with DS that it is skanky wearing 'spare' PE kit not washed after previous wearer ..

51 replies

Clumsymum · 25/09/2012 17:47

Background info - DS hates PE, and will do anything to avoid it.

DS's school requires a special track suit for PE (navy with yellow piping down trousers, school name embroidered on back of trakky top). These can't be bought from a shop, have to be ordered by PE teacher - and they are quite expensive.

In the last PE lesson before summer hols, DS fell over and ripped his trakky bottoms. Before this term started I bought a pair of navy joggers as a temporary measure. I told DS to ask the PE teacher what I need to do to order new ones - I double checked, there is nothing on the website or in any of the paperwork to order them.

I got no reply from DS re ordering new ones, but last week - 3 weeks in to term - PE teacher decided DS couldn't wear his temporary ones, and had to wear a pair of trousers out of the 'spares' box, and I need to write a note into school to ask him to order a new pair.

Now, DS didn't really like this, cos the spares don't seem to get washed. I have to say that I'm not chuffed about my darling boy Grin wearing a pair of trakky bottoms covered in someone else's sweat after a triple-period PE lesson.

Today I emailed PE teacher (names changed to protect the innocent)
"Dear Mr Farnsbarns,

Sonny needs new track suit trousers as his were badly torn at the end of last term.

I did tell him to ask you how we can get some new ones in the first week of term, but he hasn?t come back to me with an answer. I have provided him with navy joggers to wear pro-tem, but he tells me these are not acceptable, I?m sorry, I did what I thought best in the circumstances.

Can you let me know how we can get the proper equipment please ? Sonny was unhappy about wearing ?spare? trousers last week, as he believed they had been worn by someone else, and not washed. I have no idea whether this was the case or not, but if he needs to wear ?spare? trousers until we can get new ones for him, could we borrow them so that I can wash them for him? I?m sure we don?t want to give Sonny any more reasons to be unhappy about PE lessons !!

Please let me know what we need to do ASAP

Thanks "

Reply came back

"Hi Mrs Bloggins,
I will order some trousers but it will take a few days.
We have many spares which are regularly used by pupils when they are caught short of kit and most of it is pretty clean so it is not usually a problem. Sonny did not respond well to wearing them and I felt at the time it was as he was trying to delay the lesson. He initially said trousers were too short, then said they were too long and then said he did not like the feel of them! After an exchange of words he wore them and got on with the lesson. I did not want to mention it to you as he turned it around during the session and seemed to enjoy himself. At the end of the session Sonny approached me and apologized for his behavior and said he enjoyed the session. I was very happy with this and hoped it would be a start of things to come. I believe it will only take a few good sessions with Sonny letting his hair down and getting stuck in, to change his outlook on P.E., he may find he can perform a lot better than he thinks and have fun."

Now, I have no problem with the idea that DS MUST do PE - and indeed must do anything reasonably requested by a teacher. I am also hopeful (tho sceptical) that we can change DS's attitude to PE.

But the phrase
"We have many spares which are regularly used by pupils when they are caught short of kit and most of it is pretty clean so it is not usually a problem." bothers me a bit. I wouldn't want to wear a track-suit worn by someone else and described as "pretty clean" - yuk!!

So, would it be unreasonable of me to ask if DS can bring a spare pair of trousers home tomorrow night so I can wash them before his lesson on Thursday (I'll wash them again afterwards), or to ask if he can wear his temporary joggers ?? or should I just shut-up and leave it to school ??

OP posts:
Clumsymum · 25/09/2012 18:58

fair enough, I'm being unreasonable.

OP posts:
LeeCoakley · 25/09/2012 19:08

I don't understand why you didn't contact the school about ordering replacements. Then this would never have happened! Grin

WofflingOn · 25/09/2012 19:09

You should have organised all his kit during the summer holidays, so he was ready for the first week.
Your PE teacher sounds both patient and polite, is it a private school?
Wearing spare kit is a reminder to the child to sort out what they need so they don't have to sully their fair form with someone else's cast offs.

Born2bemild · 25/09/2012 19:15

Are they only patient and polite in private schools? Grin

leeloo1 · 25/09/2012 19:16

What a lovely email from the PE teacher!

WofflingOn · 25/09/2012 19:20

Well, most secondary PE teachers of my acquaintance would have said 'No kit, wear the crap stuff and stop whining and disrupting my lesson. Now, three laps of the field for being a wuss. Then 20 press-ups in that muddy bit over there'

LeeCoakley · 25/09/2012 19:21

That was probably what went on in the 'exchange of words' woffling!

Clumsymum · 25/09/2012 19:22

yep it's an independent school.

OP posts:
WofflingOn · 25/09/2012 19:26

Then shame on you for not being organised and allowing him to wear non-uniform kit, these things matter.
Let's hope the PE teacher lends your boy some kit for you to wash.
Or you could teach your DS how to use a washing machine. Only 5 years to university and three years of grunge.

Hulababy · 25/09/2012 19:29

It's pretty common place to wear spare PE kits if you don't have the right ones in schools, state and independent, ime.

TBH even at 13y I think it would have been easier to call school yourself once term resumed to order the PE kit, rather than DS forgetting to do so and it reaching the third week into term.

ravenAK · 25/09/2012 19:33

I think you should email back to say thanks very much for 'encouraging' Sonny to do PE & for his prompt reply to your email.

The PE spares probably are quite clean! Our PE staff run the contents of the spares box through the washing machine in Textiles every half term, so they are probably fresh on Sonny.

Unlikely to be any grottier than kit worn every week by rightful owner & dragged home at half term, unless it's been festering all summer - no-one else has had time to lose their kit this term!

BizarreLoveTriangle · 25/09/2012 19:47

I think it's normal to be given unwashed spares for PE. The teachers surely have more important things to do than wash clothes for those who don't bring the correct kit to lessons (I disagree with their insistence on the regulation PE kit but that is what you signed up for). At dsd's school they make them wear spare trainers if they haven't brought their own.

Maryz · 25/09/2012 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ferrybridge · 25/09/2012 19:53

I agree the PE teacher's response is excellent, DS should (at 13) have taken action much sooner, nothing terrible is going to happen.

All three of you know this is about DS's dislike of PE, not dirty kit.

If the teacher had gone on letting him use the non regulation ones, how long would it have taken you (and/or him) to get the new ones? I agree wearing plain ones doesn't seem the end of the world, but he was allowed to for 3 weeks, which was plenty long enough to get things sorted and if allowed to go on for longer would be unfair to parents who do supply the regulation kit.

quirrelquarrel · 25/09/2012 20:04

Your DS sounds fernickety really. We had to wear spares a lot and yeah, sometimes it stank, but it's only for 40 mins tops. Who cares?

quirrelquarrel · 25/09/2012 20:06

YANBU, it's skanky I guess, YABU to think that....they ABU.

MrSunshine · 25/09/2012 20:10

You should have bought him new ones or fixed the ones he had. Tough luck for both of you.

GetDownNesbitt · 25/09/2012 20:12

YABU to expect a 13 year old to do anything about ordering kit without being on his back every day!

nikcname · 25/09/2012 21:50

YABU to expect a different response form a PE dept. 'Spare kit' has been around since time immemorial. However it has been disgusting that long too! Our PE dept are a bit lax on the washing even though they have a washer/tumble dryer.

YABU to expect teenager to make an effort!

YADNBU to ask to wash the kit he uses!!

DS loves PE, is gutted when he forgets kit. Goes to every PE club after school, lunchtime club, taking it as a GCSE, he and his friends even introduced more clubs for the lower years. He would not wear 'skanky' (apparently the official name) PE kit!

DS says YANBU!!

lljkk · 25/09/2012 22:00

It is Skanky, BUT so are the vast majority of yr-8 boys. Very Skanky They Are Indeed.

Ughfootballseason · 25/09/2012 22:01

I bet the PE teacher sounds a lot more polite than he was feeling. YWBU to waste his time over such a non-event.

picturesinthefirelight · 25/09/2012 22:08

I think that was a very reasonable reply

Jogging bottoms would be unlikely to be that sweaty

A couple if weeks ago dd was in a musical - two teams of children alternated the performances. The same costumes were used for both sets. Dancing full out under hot stage lights

The too short don't feel right etc procrastination sounds very like my ds would complain. Delay tactics to try & get out if PE.

Ferrybridge · 25/09/2012 22:22

Why are they allowed to wear joggers? Surely shorts only until at least November [ grin]

rogersmellyonthetelly · 25/09/2012 22:33

Up to about 9yo I don't see it as a problem, most kids dont get smelly before that age. At 13yo however, wearing trousers that someone else's sweaty bollocks have been swinging around in, is pretty grim. We have spare pe kit at Dcs primary school, it gets sent home with the borrower and is expected back clean and ironed ASAP when it goes back in the spares box.

whois · 25/09/2012 23:19

YABU

You both sound precious, get a grip. Nothing bad will happen if your PFB has to put some material on his legs that, OMG, another boy has had on his legs!!! Gasp. Shock. Seriously it's not like the teacher was asking your PFB to rub sweaty balls with someone else was it?

Although I don't think you were being U to aski for a pair to borrow, seems fair enough but like someone sid the skanky spares are meant to encourage you to buy new ones!