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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why I'm the only one who organises dd's get-togethers?

28 replies

raskolnikov · 25/09/2012 16:47

This is about the fourth time I've organised for 5 of my dd's friends to come over for a get-together/film night/pizza night/sleepover etc. All the others have 2 parents at home whereas I'm on my own with 3 kids. They've all known each other 3-5 years and been friends all that time, so why doesn't anyone else step up and invite? DD has never even been to two of their houses and yet they're all bf's and love getting together. Am I missing something?

OP posts:
raskolnikov · 26/09/2012 15:56

Electronic gadgets - yes, I agree, a great way of keeping in touch, but I'd like her to go out and get away from the gadgets, BBM, fb, TV, PC etc if its possible.

Red wine - that's what I'm thinking, I'm not expecting anyone else to host mega-sleepovers, but just to pick up the phone (they're quite spread out so can't wander round the corner to each others houses) so that these friends can meet up and keep in touch.

Vestibule - DD doesn't expect me to do 'big' events, she's just asking me to help her get her old mates together occasionally. Hanging out in other people's house ... no, just ours!

Twelve - that's my reason for asking really, long standing friendships are important and this group have a great time together - far better than she has with any current schoolfriends who chop and change with the weather. I'm only just getting used to girls' friendships being so hormonal - my older DSs never went through all the on/off friendships that my dd experiences.

Meowmi - yes, I realise other families can have all sorts going on behind the scenes (tell me about it!) but tbh its easily done, they're a lovely group, don't need supervising (much) and I do enjoy seeing them having a good time, laughing at posters who think this is 'weird', however, I'm not going to be a martyr to the cause.

I think I'll just leave it to her, she can try and get them to do something and if not, then we've done everything we can do. Thanks all.

OP posts:
MsVestibule · 26/09/2012 16:18

I don't think anybody has said you enjoying seeing your DD having a good time with her friends is weird!!! I think what most people find hard to grasp is that you've found it necessary to organise things for them. I can honestly say it wouldn't cross my mind to phone my DD's friends or their parents to arrange a sleepover/visit to each other's houses.

If my DD asked for a sleepover, that would be fine - she could ask her friends, and I'd be happy to speak to any parents who wanted to check the details.

TBH, I think it's your DD's friends that aren't making the effort, and I can see why your DD would find that upsetting (and therefore bother you!). Perhaps they've just gone on to forge stronger friendships at their new schools than your DD has, and although they enjoy her company as much as ever, don't "need" her as much as she needs them Sad.

GreenShadow · 26/09/2012 16:36

WE get this a lot

DC's friends parents are more than happy for their little darlings to come here either for a sleep over or just the day, but never have anyone back - they just refuse to do it.

I'd rather not have my house filled with other children, but do it for my DC sake. Lost count of the number of meals I've fed DS3's latest bestfriend, and not once has he been to their house for more than an hour or so.

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