Parties For Kids - Why Is It Hurtful To Me??

[pearlie]

I can't believe how wound up I have been today over a Halloween Party I have organised for my dd. My dd has insisted on inviting a girl from another class at school to her Halloween Party who visits her Gran (Gran lives next door to us). This little girl has been in our home, had a formal invite to last year's Birthday party and been around for tea. Having just found out that her mother only wants a few girls from said child's class to a 'makeup party' she is organising I wanted to end things as far as our generosity is concerned for it is obviously not being reciprocated. I gave in, however, and the Halloween invite has been posted through the Gran's door as dd daughter was in tears ~ posted so no changes of mind can take place or further argument. Rest of invites to be given out tomorrow.

My dd says the 9 year old is a friend and that it is the mother...I am not so sure. In any event the family are rather odd and quite standoffish but dd does not see that. I read some of the other things re parties that were posted but I don't feel any better. Just sad and annoyed that I could not be harsh enough to say no this time. Dd, does accept, that is the last one and that there will be no more. We have only been here for 1 year having moved.

Thanks again.

Your DD sounds like a great girl with an unselfish attitude. Be thankful. And don't squash her personality with yours.

Sometimes the parents of your kid's friends can be utter bitches and there's not much you can do it about it really.

My daughter had this all the way through primary school. Her best friend's (from the day they started) mother hated her and me for some reason. Daughter got excluded from all birthday parties, rudely turned down at every come over to play invite and basically the bitch did everything she could to come between them.

They're both adults now and still very close friends. (Who has the last laugh now, you miserable old witch?)

I don't really see what the problem is. You've admitted that you can only invite a certain number of children to your dd's Halloween Party. Why is this fine for you but intolerably heart-breaking when the other mother has to do similarly?

All children have to learn that they aren't entitled to attend other people's parties and you can explain this kindly and without getting over-emotional yourself. Which is what I would advise doing. You also don't need to start saying things like "this will be the last one and no more". Just accept that invitations can't always be reciprocated and nearly always, there is a practical reason for this. Nobody is a victim.