To think that DH's friend is taking the piss?

[moochie6880]

He lives about 300 miles away. He's been up to visit once (we moved about 18 months ago) and we have been down to visit him once. He wants to visit again BUT he wants us to pay for the train ticket.

He is DD's godfather but he didn't even give her a card at her christening. She's 2.5 now and she's had no Christmas or birthday cards either. DH wants him to be LO's godfather too.

He works as and when he feels like it, just agency work, because he has a load of inheritance money from his grandfather which he uses when he can't be arsed working. He pleads poverty but always has enough money for drink and weed.

Last time he came up he was smoking a spiff in the garden. I went mad. DD was in bed but I was 16 weeks pregnant and had hyperemesis, weird smells used to set off the vomiting. I also found out that DH paid for half the train ticket last time!! We went to visit him with DD over the summer when I was heavily pregnant with LO but he didn't offer anything towards our petrol money so i am amazed that he thinks we should be paying for his train fare!

DD is 2.5, LO is 12 weeks. I don't want him smoking weed anywhere near us. I'm also on SMP now so money is tight.

AIBU to expect him to pay for his own fare and leave his fecking weed at home?

Jesus, no - don't pay for anything.
He sounds like an utter waste of space.

WTAF? Definitely not unreasonable. The guy is a scrounger.

He expects you to pay his train ticket? What a scrounger. As I read elsewhere on here this morning. How about "if he is cheeky enough to ask, you can be cheeky enough to say no".

Say no without a second thought. Tell DH to stop wasting family money on this waster and do not let him be GF to your LO.

Has he said why exactly, you're expected to pay?

He's been DH's friend since college (so 19 years) and for some reason he has this odd, misguided loyalty to him. I've pointed out in numerous occasions that he is a massive, scrounging twat but DH just laughs it off and says his friend has had a hard time. Wtf?! His parents are wealthy, he has chosen to live like a student at the age of 31. I think it's pathetic. DH wants him as DD's and LO's godfather because he's his best friend. I didn't want him to be but DH said I'd chosen the godmothers (who are lovely) and I've chosen for the kids to be christened into the Catholic church. DH is C of E but is non practising so it made sense to me to get the kids christened Catholic because I practise.

He's up next weekend, he's bought the ticket now. I don't know if DH has funded it or not!! I've just found this out!

In that case, since he's coming, perhaps DH needs to make it clear to him that he'll be expected to chip in whilst he's with you - a nice meal would return the favour.

So your husbands parents are the same, OP? Expecting you to pay for them to visit them? Are you a lot richer than them?

I'd be furious if my DH forked out when money is so tight!

How long is he staying this time?

I'd call him myself and tell him NO weed.

I think it's a shame that your husband has to buy this person's friendship. That's not a friend.

He's one of life's takers. If this carries on, then it will cause real problems between you and your husband as you come to resent him for allowing this loser to sponge off him to the detriment of his own family.

I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who expected me to meet the costs of spending time with me. I think more of myself than that and your husband should too.