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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be upset with a priest?

38 replies

Elmotickler · 23/09/2012 04:33

This is my first post and its a bit long winded so please bear with me (and be gentle)I'm a first time mum and have a 5 week old daughter I would like baptised. I am catholic but hadn't been to mass regularly for quite a while but since having my daughter I realise that the time is right for me to return to my faith. I am married to a non catholic but he supports my decision to raise our daughter as a catholic. I went to mass last night and after the mass asked the priest if I could have a word with him regarding having my daughter baptised. He was very short with me and said 'Yes you can but not until I see you at mass regularly' this was said quite curtly as he was walking away from me. Now I'm probably still hormonal but feel that he was quite offhand with me and its made me feel terrible. I was expecting some support rather than being chastised. AIBU to think that he could at least have agreed to have a chat with me at a different time?

OP posts:

SecretNutellaFix · 23/09/2012 12:46

yababu

As far as he is concerned, that was the first time he has seen you at mass, and you immediately ask for your child to be baptised?

Make the effort to show up regularly, don't throw a strop and find somewhere else. At least he was up front with what he expected.

YouMayLogOut · 23/09/2012 13:02

YABU.

Much better to just be told directly what the situation is, than have to go around the houses finding out through the grapevine that they expect you to attend regularly.

Nothing wrong with being "plain spoken", it's much better than sugar-coating exactly the same message.

lovebunny · 23/09/2012 14:39

phone round and find a better priest. yours is a knob.

FredFredGeorge · 23/09/2012 14:40

Of course YANBU, hideous customer service, complain to his head office.

scarletforya · 23/09/2012 14:45

YABU.

This happens all the time. I'm not a bit suprised. The Priests have a pain in their hoop with the likes of me and you rocking up as soon as we have a baby having suddenly re-discovered our faith. They think we are 'A La Carte Catholics'. They're right!!!

I'm only getting my baby Christened to please the rellies and to get her into the right school. I made sure to show my face here and there up at the Church a few times. That keeps them happy.

madhairday · 23/09/2012 14:51

YANBU. He was rude. I don't know much about the Catholic way of doing things, but as I see it anyone coming into church and asking about a baptism should be treated with welcome and respect, for whatever reason, how is he to know where you are with faith? Generous assumptions should always be made, and welcome extended even if someone is taking the piss, which you quite obviously are not.

edam · 23/09/2012 14:57

He should be ruddy grateful that anyone wants their child baptised Catholic after what the church has done to thousands of children...

perceptionreality · 23/09/2012 15:00

YANBU

In our local catholic church there are LOADS of children who are baptised, do their holy communion and confirmation and who have parents who never set foot in church the rest of the time.

Could you move to another church? This priest sounds like he has a bad attitude.

DizzyHoneyBee · 23/09/2012 15:04

YANBU. He's probably fed up to the back teeth of parents wanting children baptised to get a church school place but that does not excuse his total lack of manners.

LonelyCloud · 23/09/2012 15:07

It was rude of him to be as abrupt as that about it.

But - maybe he's recently seen a lot of people doing baptisms just to make sure their kid's at the top of the list for a church school, or just as an excuse to have a big party?

I can understand him being a bit sick of parents getting kids baptised and never showing their faces in church again. But, if this is the case, he certainly could have expressed his feelings on the importance of regular church attendance much more politely.

YouMayLogOut · 23/09/2012 15:21

Some of these grumpy priests become warmer later on. Would people rather meet a cheesy over-enthusiastic evangelical type, who appeared warm at first but it was just a veneer? Soooooooooooo pleased you're here (why not join Alpha this evening, I'll get brownie points for bums on seats and conversions) And a couple of weeks later they're fawning over the next newcomer.

maddening · 23/09/2012 15:27

Maybe he's really into the whole "guilt" thing.... is he he only priest there? Do they have others working there too and laypeople that you can speak to?

neontetra · 23/09/2012 15:42

YANBU - I'm C of E, and loads of people we have never seen in church before come and get their dc baptised in the church I attend. None of us (especially the vicars) would dream of being rude to them, because we are not on the whole unkind people - and who knows, if we are nice to them we might see them again!

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