to say no to friend staying here

[asecretnamechange]

Have name changed for this. (Sorry for grammar and spelling)

I have a friend who I have known since secondary school. She can be lovely but has always been over-dramatic and she can get very grumpy at times. She is also flirty with everyone and anyone. She doesn't do much for her DCs as she would rather spend time with friends. Her DP does most of it even though he is the only one who works.

She has been with her DP for years and she met him when she was 17. He broke up with her shortly afterwards but they got back together and they have been together for over 15 years. They have 2 DCs together.
My friend slept with another man and became pregnant by this man. She hid this for a while but then decided to tell her DP the truth. He wasn't happy and told her to leave. He is keeping there DCs with him because he does the most with them. My friend doesn't care that he has the DCs, but she does want the house. However because he has the 2 DCs and pays the rent, she can't have it.

She got herself a flat but it was very expensive and she couldn't pay the rent. So she asked to stay here. Our house is full with me, DH and six DCs so I said she could stay a week at the most but she would have to find somewhere else. She said no she wants to stay here till the baby is born (she is 5 months pregnant).

She could stay with her Aunt or her mum but she won't because it is far away from her friends (an hours drive).
She keeps calling and asking no matter how many times I say No.
She says IABU because she is prenant. But I have so far stuck to it,but I am worried that I am doing the wrong thing.

So aibu?

GateGipsy

Well said. You've said it all. There's therefore no need for any more comments here. I expect they'll come though.

Some Mumsnetters are so eloquent and put things so beautifully that there's no need for anyone else to have a say. That said, I am aware that this is a forum where anyone may put an opinion forward that might not have been thought about.

She rings again, tell her, 'NO' and put the phone down. Ring off on her. She's not a friend, she's a freeloader looking for some mug to squeeze like a sponge.

Practice saying, 'No, you're not staying here' and hanging up.

Or give the phone to your DH and get him to tell her there is no way she is staying at yours.

She shows up saying she's been thrown out, don't let her in. Tell her to go to the council's homeless office or a homeless shelter.

What GateGipsy said.

If she is in a private rented flat and the landlord wants to evict her, for rent arrears or any other reason, they must give her a Section 21 Notice giving her 2 months to leave. If she is still in the property when this expires the landlord must get a court order to evict her, and this process will take another couple of months. If she can't sort anything else out AFAIK she should be a priority for emergency rehousing by the local authority if made homeless whilst pregnant or with DC. Tell her she should be calling Shelter for advice, not you: freephone 0808 800 4444.

Say no and stick to your guns. She has options, she should use them

CommunistMoon I didn't know that I will tell her
GateGipsy I understand what your saying, I offered her the week to help try and support her.
She has had her DCs, she then decided she couldn't cope for 4 hours with them and she has only had them for 1 hour a week since.

I'd offer for her to stay "as long as she likes as it would be great to have help with all the dc's and help round the house". That should put her off!

YANBU stick to your guns

Oh no. If she's refusing to take no for an answer trying to get into your home - once she gets her feet under the table, how hard do you think it will be to get her out of it? You'd have to physically pick her up and chuck her out! Understand that even one night under your roof will mean she won't leave.

In your shoes, I'd be saying "I have already said no, many times. Why do you keep asking? Do you think you can browbeat me into changing my mind? Because you can't. My answer is no. And it is final. Don't ask me again."

Oh. Sorry. Didn't realise the last word had been had and the thread declared officially closed.

Please disregard my post.

Gah, Hecate! Didn't you see the line drawn under the post? NO MORE posting, Gypsy said it all, far more eloquently than telling her, 'I've said no several times. This conversation is over'.

Yeah. Sorry about that.

Sorry to reopen an officially closed thread, but I agre with Hecate. If you let her stay AT ALL you will never be rid of her and you will have a newborn baby to take care of.

Why are you friends with thie person, she sounds awful.