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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to think she shouldn't have waited

31 replies

BearWithBearWith · 21/09/2012 19:42

I was at the playpark today with my two children and decided to phone my Dad who has recently been bereaved and often I am the only person he speaks to some days.

After a few minutes on the phone I see a lady I know well enough to say 'hello&how are you' etc (she's a receptionist for a community centre we used to frequent) but I would not say we were aquaintances let alone friends.

I nodded and smiled as she approached. She then stopped and leant over the railing of the playpark and watched me, 6 feet away, whilst I was on the phone. I continued my conversation with Dad and occasionally helped my children up/off play apperatus etc.

She stood there the whole time watching me (nothing else not nonchalantly hanging around but staring at me poker faced),waiting to come off the phone presumably. I had no intentions of cutting short my conversation with Dad. We spoke for a further 20 minutes until I finally hung up (fed up of being stared at). She then walked all the way to our house talking as if our exchange was the most natural in the world. I was polite but what shocked me was the way the staring had made me feel:

I felt intimidated (which from a physical point of view is daft)
I felt shakey after the experience of being stared at and kind of trapped.
Social ettiquette made me struggle with how to tell her I could not give her attention at that time.

The children funnily enough cried/refused to talk to her as they don't know her and perhaps didn't like her/picked up on my vibes.

So basically am I being unreasonable to have expected her not to hang around, pointedly wanting my attention (for no reason at all)? And am I being unreasonable in feeling intimidated by such a non threatening incident?

Disclaimer (so as not to drip feed): She has on occasion called me under the pretence of her job for 'a big chat' (she has my phone number through her work) which I later found out she only contacted me not every other member as she had stated in her phonecall. She also tried to buy the house next to me but couldn't as it was already under offer - she only told me she tried to buy it afterwards.

This is the only contact I have had with this local woman and I am concerned as to future bumpings into her. I think that's what I'm concerned about - how to avoid in future?

Oh - I'm so sorry this is so long. I'm just freaked out a little and need perspective. I do have real problems in my life (which funnily enough I am dealing with fine-ish) but this has just rattled my nerves a little today - tell me how daft I'm being please!

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 22/09/2012 12:50

"Social ettiquette made me struggle with how to tell her I could not give her attention at that time."

You should have just waived and turned your back.

I think there may be a possibility that you are giving out mixed signals, as well.

The interaction (or lack of it) in the park was very strange.

I was wondering if she is waiting to get the gossip on someone selling up, perhaps, do you live in a sought after street, or with a particular style of house/garden?

You need to practice phrases, to end 'chats' wth her that make it clear you don't want her company, whilst walking away.

BearWithBearWith · 22/09/2012 12:57

Birds - I did turn my back and avoided eye contact for the whole 20 minutes so I have no idea where the mixed signals could be. A nod and wave as she approached then a deliberate turn so she would know that was the end of that.

Usually I'm very good at walking while talking and making it very natural to leave but because we were in an enclosed area and my toddlers were out of their buggy I was very much at her mercy so to speak.

Lol certainly not in a sought after street/property. (Unless being next to me is sought after!!! ha haa haa Grin )

OP posts:
ZacharyQuack · 22/09/2012 13:00

If you still get a vibe from her that she wants to move next door to you, start mentioning how you're thinking of moving the X (somewhere far far away) for work/family/witness protection.

BearWithBearWith · 22/09/2012 13:03

Oooh good idea Zachary....only problem is she lives 2 streets away* from me and being a SAHM I am often out and about and likely to bump into her)

*She used to live 4 streets away from me but is now closer Shock Grin

OP posts:
fuckadoodlepoopoo · 22/09/2012 21:25

Sounds like you did normal things and she didn't take the hint.

londone17 · 22/09/2012 22:19

It does sound out of the ordinary. When this lady persists I would say "I have a pot on the stove" and walk as fast as possible.

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