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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to tell my baby to not shout in the supermarket?

45 replies

newmummytobe79 · 21/09/2012 15:13

Ahhhh! I can't win!

Baby is just over 1 and has a habit of shouting VERY loudly whilst we're shopping and then laughing about it.

I have people who tell me how gorgeous baby is and how it's just a 'finding their voice' exercise ... and others that look at me in disgust :(

I do tell my baby to stop shouting/no/don't do that etc etc ... but I feel like my life is spent constantly telling off!

I know baby isn't being naughty (much!) and will eventually understand the word no (please tell me this is true!)

But I see parents just ignoring shouting kids and wonder if I should do that?

Thoughts please :)

OP posts:

LonelyCloud · 21/09/2012 17:44

I would just ignore it, or find something to distract your baby with.

DS is about that age, and simply telling him not to be noisy is at best about as effective as talking to a brick wall.

THETrills · 21/09/2012 17:48

also remember that your baby sounds loud to you the parents but actually it's a really tiny sound

Really? Because to some parents the opposite seems to be true.

Goldenbear · 21/09/2012 17:56

If I were you it wouldn't bother me but that's because I have a 17 month old shrieker and would be telling her no all the time which I don't really say to her anyway. My MIL is very upright and constantly telling her to shush, don't touch, don't walk quickly- she just expects far too much. My DS is 5 and I don't really think he sees it as the house of fun as he has been shushed by her since babyhood!

Goldenbear · 21/09/2012 17:57

Uptight not 'upright'

ISeeThreadPeople · 21/09/2012 18:06

I've just been to Asda and 12mo ds sat in the trolley shouting all sorts. He yelled 'hiiiiiyaaaa' at 90% of people and 'heelllllooooo' at the other 10%, complete with waving. If people didn't say hello back he started shouting 'peee peee peeee peeeepo!' at them and hiding behind his hands. In fact, towards the end of the shop, he started shouting 'baaaa oooooo baaaa oooo baaaa ooooo' and I thought he was going for Old MacDonald. Until he swiped a free balloon and started bashing the bloke in front with it (this I did stop).

He's trying to communicate with the world. I don't say stop or no but I do otherwise engage him if his chat seems unwelcome, he's getting loud etc but he's practising important skills.

DS does understand 'no' btw. If you are consistent about the big stuff, remove them and say it clearly and firmly, they cotton on quickly. Things like trying to open the back door or sticking things in plug sockets. If we say no to ds, he shakes his head forlornly, says 'nooooo baba' and stops doing what he's doing.

StuntGirl · 21/09/2012 18:35

Does my head in but I try my best to ignore. A perfect situation for headphones, imo.

G1nger · 21/09/2012 19:02

Just talk with your baby. Forget everyone else.

Raspberryandorangesorbet · 21/09/2012 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappySunflower · 21/09/2012 19:30

My dd does this, particularly when we are in the queue at the checkout!
People visibly jump out of their skins, I often worry that she'll do it when we're standing right next to a little old lady or something

I started a new strategy last week. As tempted as I am to say 'No!' and give her one of my 'special looks', I ignore it when she does it, then give her loads of attention immediately that she pauses for breath stops. Often I'll start singing or hand her a toy to play with or point things out/tell her what we're going to do next or something.

IvorHughJanus · 21/09/2012 19:32

Bollocks to anyone who looks a you with 'disgust'. That's a horrible reaction to have to a one year old who is learning how to use their voice and what sort of wonderful, loud noises they can make.

DS is 18mo and long for his age so he looks older. He loves hoover noise and impersonates it when bored, so the occupants of Sainsbo's were today treated to him going 'vvvvvvvvVVVVVVVVVVFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!' all the way around the shop. I smiled apologetically at anyone who caught my eye but if anyone really, honestly did object to it, then frankly I couldn't give a shit. It kept him happy!

dementedma · 21/09/2012 21:15

Went to a Christmas watch night service with 11 mth old Ds. It was rather a posh do. (Friend was in choir) and we didn't know anyone in conregation. Ds was babbling audibly at the quiet prayer bits and I was trying to quiet him when a very elegant lady swathed in a cloak leaned forward from the pew behind and said " if we cannot tolerate a baby this night of all nights, then when we can we?" And then she played peekaboo with him for the Ernest of the service

dementedma · 21/09/2012 21:15

Rest, not earnest. Bloody auto correct.

MissBetseyTrotwood · 21/09/2012 21:16

I have decided officially that for every 'right' decision I make as a parent there will soon be someone else along to tell me it's 'wrong'. You'll never win.

I was eyerolled and told I was being over the top for stopping my DS (5) from standing up on the train last summer and singing 'I'm Sexy and I Know It' at the top of his voice. I don't think he should be singing that sone anyway, never mind at peak volume on a crowded train. (He has no idea what it means btw!)

FWIW I think small children doing shouty stuff is absolutely fine. I have a big tolerance for it if they belong to someone else. But not if I've gone somewhere for some nice child free time. Naice cafe? No. Supermarket? Fine.

Noqontrol · 21/09/2012 21:19

Ds does this and he's nearly 3 Having said that he hasn't been talking that long and I suppose its all new and exciting to him. Most people are quite nice to him and talk to him back. I haven't witnessed anyone (yet) being irritated by him.

FancyBread · 21/09/2012 21:39

I would try and stop him shouting in the supermarket but wouldn't worry about it too much. I did not let my DC's shout or run around in restaurants or cafes, I didn't think it fair on the other customers and it would have irritated me. I won't go in cafes if there are noisy DC's. Its not relaxing for me and I can't tune them out. I know that you can't always stop a baby from crying but I can't help finding it really jarring and irritating to listen to. However, I don't ever give Mums (or Dads) the evil eye as I know it's not their fault and I don't want to be a miserable judgey pants .........but I still don't won't to stay around and listen to them.

TBH I find loud Mums more irritating than loud DC's .

Flobbadobs · 21/09/2012 23:44

I try to find a child friendly restaurant when we go out (kroma in manchester is my favourite), people are more tolerant when the table cloths are paper and there are crayons on the table! In a supermarket bugger anyone else, rather a happy babbling baby than tedious store announcements and radio asda/tesco/wherever!

apostropheuse · 21/09/2012 23:57

A baby babbling/shouting/squealing loudly is a delight to hear. It makes me smile and melts my heart.

A supermarket is noisy anyway with all that bloody piped music going on - let him roar!

(However, I will admit that when I hear a slightly older toddler screeching in one of those high pitched screams whilst tantruming in the middle of a previously peaceful and predominantly adult restaurant, and the parents are ignoring him/her I do get a teensy bit hmm shall we say disturbed?!)

Angelico · 22/09/2012 00:43

I hate shriekers but don't mind babblers.

SirGOLDBoobs · 22/09/2012 00:51

Turn it into a conversation or a song. The more you interact with them, the less likely they will be just to kick up a fuss at this age. Its dull for them, remember! So... Sing with them, hide behind things, hold out packets so they can feel different textures.

HKat · 22/09/2012 00:59

What Fancybread said

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