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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why yoga has to be so wanky!

61 replies

Tanyaaah · 21/09/2012 12:48

I love yoga for the stretching and exercise. I like how I can feel my body stretching more each week and it makes me feel really good.

But, I've just been to a class with a new teacher and she kept trying to make us do stupid noises ummmmmmm and oooooooooo and ahhhhhhhhhh. Really bloody annoying!
I found it off putting and the opposite of relaxing as I was too busy getting annoyed to relax. Grrrr.

And then she started ringing a bell when we should breathe Angry

I'm sure this is MY problem, just wondered if I was the only one who thought this!

OP posts:
WineGoggles · 21/09/2012 17:51

Tanyaaah I feel your pain. My first experience with yoga was at a class which was not my cup of tea at all; I'm not spiritual, and was mainly interested in flexibility training with perhaps a little bit of relaxation, but this was mainly meditation, chakras and chanting. Half way through they started singing and it was at that point I just wanted to walk out. It was like a local cult meeting! Then I found a class that was the polar opposite, with a very down to earth tutor, which suited me much better. I think it's best to clarify what sort of style the class will be before going because they vary so much.

MeerkatMerkin · 21/09/2012 18:02

I did one with the affirmations ("I love my body! I love my stomach! I love my legs!") and could not relax because of it. Also, in one session there was mutual massage which upset me greatly. Sometimes, yes, it is wanky!

Feminine · 21/09/2012 18:10

This is why I do Pilates Wink

SeventhEverything · 21/09/2012 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LesleyPumpshaft · 21/09/2012 19:03

I don't think the spirtual side of Yoga needs to be wanky.

MamaMumrOrangeTheGolden · 21/09/2012 19:21

I did pregnancy yoga and the fucking bitch told me I could breath the baby out! I was completely unprepared I tell you!

There is definitely a yoga scene I think.

MamaMumrOrangeTheGolden · 21/09/2012 19:22

I haven't met many spiritual yoga enthusiasts....

HellonHeels · 21/09/2012 19:29

I love yoga and enjoy the chanting, bell ringing etc. if it's the kind of class that has it.

Why don't you do a stretch class if that's the bit you enoy most?

cocoaGOLDchannel · 21/09/2012 19:32

Pregnancy yoga itself was okay I fell asleep during teacher's lectures on some primal birthing technique. What really put me off that particular teacher was an email she sent round after the London riots (live in SW London) which basically said that the riots were the product of drugs used by the rioters' mothers during childbirth. Hmm So if you, like me, had an epidural your child may one day be smashing in the window of JD Sport to pilfer a pair of ill fitting trainers.

Anyway, I digress, apologies OP- YADNBU!

MamaMumrOrangeTheGolden · 21/09/2012 19:40

cocoa Grin

YouMayLogOut · 21/09/2012 19:44

Why not try a different body toning class which isn't Yoga?

Toombs · 21/09/2012 20:23

If you're in or around Cambridge give Camyoga a try, really really friendly and they'll have something to your taste.

Teamumizumi · 21/09/2012 22:15

My SIL is a yoga teacher and every time she comes round to dinner she tries to get us to do a salute to the sun. No, fuck off.

(not you, her wanky yoga)

SirGOLDBoobs · 21/09/2012 22:21

Not all yoga is wanky. The teacher of the class I used to go to was awesome. There was a little bit of the whole "feel the energy in your body" but she would normally crack a few jokes about it too. We all regularly got the giggles about something or other. It was fantastic.

Find another class.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 22/09/2012 02:56

So if you, like me, had an epidural your child may one day be smashing in the window of JD Sport to pilfer a pair of ill fitting trainers.

Brilliant. I'll write a shopping list for DS and DD can drive the getaway car. I think this is what annoys me most- people with an exercise qualification thinking they've morphed into a fully qualified medical practitioner because they've read a few websites written by Gillian McKeith et al.

Jacksmania · 22/09/2012 03:15

PMSL :o

Yoga definitely doesn't have to be wanky. I teach both regular yoga and pregnancy yoga and there is no wankiness involved :o at least I fucking hope not. Just lots of hard work and stretching.

If you're looking for yoga that's just a bloody hard workout with absolutely no spiritual side whatsoever, do try Bikram Yoga. I thought I was a pretty fit yogi and it kicks my arse. I disagree with whomever said you have to go three times a week - I make it to a class about once a week and still see results.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 22/09/2012 05:02

Yes but you're a yoga teacher so presumably you do other types of yoga every day. What I'm saying is that if you want to look super hot by doing only bikram then you'd need to get in a few weekly sessions.

NotQuiteCockney · 22/09/2012 07:54

Wanking during a yoga class is certainly not normal. Grin

I used to mentally add 'metaphorically' to a lot of the more woo statements.

Jacksmania · 22/09/2012 15:08

presumably you do other kinds of yoga every day

Oh I wish! :o
What is this "free time" and these "weekends" of which I hear people speak?

aquashiv · 22/09/2012 15:37

The only noises I remember from Yoga was the bloody farting - whats that all about?

Jacksmania · 22/09/2012 17:30

It's because a lot of the poses compress the abdomen.

I remember one class I was in (practicing, not teaching) and one young guy in the back farted every time we were instructed to lift up one leg in downward dog (in prep for swinging the leg forward for a lunge). The entire class was in danger of falling over laughing, we were giggling so hard everyone's balance was shot. So was he :o
When my friend who was teaching gave the cues for a wide-legged forward fold (so bum up in the air) the poor guy, thinking he was speaking just under his breath and of course everyone heard, said "oh no... please no...". That was it. We were done. My instructor friend who has the kindest heart changed the pose to the same one but sitting on the floor :o

oldenoughtoknow · 23/09/2012 10:00

Try Pilates instead. Yoga means balancing the physical with the spiritual, so if you are not embracing the breathing/meditative aspect then you are not actually doing yoga anyway!

Badgerina · 23/09/2012 10:15

God yes. It's all a bit woo for me too. Chakra bloody chakra Hmm

wheresmespecs · 23/09/2012 10:57

Do Pilates instead? Then you don't run the risk of getting anything too extreme....

Yoga seems to be a very broad church - I do astanga yoga and meditate and focused breathing is a part of this, and visualisation can be very useful....but I have a very low tolerance for woo bullshit.

Worst yoga class I went to was taught by a very thin and tense woman, who I first saw in reception being incredibly snooty and rather aggressive with the centre reception staff.... then she burnt these awful incense sticks in the room, which kept making me cough, used those little finger cymbals all the time (sounded like a lift arriving) -

Turns out that being very irritated isn't conducive to stretching and relaxing, so I didn't go back.

BlameItOnTheBogey · 23/09/2012 11:06

I haven't been back to a yoga class after some lessons I took when I was pregnant; we all had to stand in a circle chanting 'I am a strong warrior woman'. I'd rather give birth again that have to go through something like that.

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