to think friend shouldnt offer constant snacks?

[familyfun]

dd1's friend eats constantly, when she plays at his house his mom offers a drink, then a yoghurt, then biscuits, then raisins, then cake, breadsticks etc all within 2 hrs. dd eats some, more than she would at home and then says no im full but her friend eats everything andf asks for more more more all the time. they are 5.
when dds friend plays here i offer drinks, ice lolly in the summer or biscuit now its colder. dds friend spends the whole time asking me for chocolate,cakes and the other snacks he likes. i sometimes give them 1 thing extra or a banana each incase he is hungry but he doesnt like fruit. if i tell him i dont have chocolate/cakes he doesnt believe me.
now friend has started arriving at my house with tons of snacks for them both and im not sure what to think.
aibu to think at my house for a short play session he should just accept the snack i offer and not bring tons with him and munch his way round the house. it makes my dds eat more than i want, which i accept at their house but think she should accept my way at my house, and he makes a constant mess wandering around eating and wont sit down to eat.

part of me thinks its obviously nothing to do with me what he eats and clearly his mom thinks i dont offer enough food?

Yeah but maybe his mum rewards his with treats for everything...do well at school, have a treat. Go to bed nicely, treat in the morning!! That sort of thing so in the end he just equates being safe and happy with having a treat.

Sad tho.

I have a similar situation with dd's friend. She is always eating. It's the nagging that I find annoying and the fact she can't really get on with playing as the eating hampers it.

However,I know that my friend finds it annoying that I don't feed my dd between meals as she comments on it. My dd is underweight which she puts down to me under feeding her.

We just have to rub along with our different ways of doing things.

YANBU.

I have the same friend!

It's a totally pain as her DS (probably rightly) feels entitles to eat all the shite his mother has packed for his play at ours. Even at his own house he won't eat veg or anything other than pasta really because I don't think he's hungry enough to try anything new.

Don't let him wander around, get him to sit down while he's eating.

It's your house so your rules. YANBU to be annoyed as it is setting a bad example. I think sit them down for their snack so that it's not mindless and unthinking, and also so it's a bit boring. Send the supply of cakes back unused and perhaps the friend will get the message.

chandon i have that food only in the kitchen at the table rule too. its amazing. they do only eat snacks when they need them because they are too busy to want to sit down at the table.

my DD eats every 1-2 hours and she is thin as a whippet, she is genuinely hungry often

its not too regular so i will ignore, but yes its the nagging, he seems obsessed with snacks.

exactly soorploom, and it's less hoovering!

Start a new sitting down to eat rule in your house. If they are wandering around there is no food. Mention it to your friend and say you want to avoid hoovering. Be firm.

Then offer only healthy snacks plus one treat. If a child won't eat fruit then they aren't really hungry

My friends DD is like this too. We go out for coffee once a week and she will bring out her 'snack bag' (I would call it a lunch box, but no lunch inside!). The bag contains hulla hoops, choc muffin, raisins, fruit bread, yogurt or custard and a sweet.

The little girl scoffs all this very quickly (before I have had time to get the coffee to my mouth!) and then begins to ask if she can share our things as she 'is still a little bit hungry'. She begs until I can't take it and no longer enjoy the scone or croissant I am eating so she dig's in.

When we go anywhere the little girl constantly says 'im just a little bit hungry' regardless of where we are or what we are doing and continues until she is given food.

I have considered avoiding meeting up as DD(1) is now getting to an age where I don't want her to think this is normal.

Is he underweight - I mean off the percentiles so his parents think or have been advised to feed him regularly?

How long have you known them? Maybe it's a continuation of toddlerhood where he was more likely to have snacked regularly? I have an NCT friend who always brought a whole picnic box of food for her DS but it was healthier.

These don't sound like proper playdates, with children playing together. The child's just coming over to eat, and "hosts" in the same way at his house. If you see it this way, the answer is to stop the visits.

(Bloody interfering mother, btw: a MIL/DIL would be pilloried for that kind of thing!)

Mind your own business.

Why is there so much "mind your own business" on threads these days? If it is happening in the ops home then it is her business. And even if it isn't... surely it's fine to have an anonymous exchange of ideas

Pesky iPhone posted to soon

...on the Internet. It's not like she is bitching about it to other mums in the playground is it?

My dd has a small stomach I think - she needs small amounts of food regularly. She gets full quickly, so never finishes a meal. As such I carry healthy snacks around, particularly because she's underweight and she starts to flag quite quickly if she's hungry. She will eat something small if she's hungry and is not particularly bothered about food.

I am wary that other dc are not allowed snacks so don't offer them unless their mum says they can have them. But I wouldn't send her round to play with someone with a supply of food. If I was going with her to a friend's house after school, I'd probably just have a banana in my bag.

no he isnt underweight, he is tall and solid, he doesnt like many meals or fruit or veg so probably does get hungry and therefore snacks all the time, or maybe its the other way round and he snacks so much he cant eat his meals.

dd1 is quite slim and gets weak/tired/grumpy if she doesnt eat enough but manages on 3 meals a day, fruit morning and afternoon and a biscuit.

i think constant snacking is more a habit really.

anyway, i wont stop seeing them as dd likes him, i will just stop the wandering round and maybe he will want to get on with playing.

My children go through phases. Sometimes they want snacks non stop and sometimes I can't get them to stop playing to eat. They have growth spurts. He might not eat his school lunch properly. All sorts. I would just let him get on with it.