to expect DD(6)'s friend to eat breakfast?

[lovelyladuree]

My friend works shifts in a care home, and I help her out with child care with her DD(6) when she needs it. Never more than an hour before school. My DD is in the same class as her. This child has issues with eating. She is obese. Letters have been sent home to her parents and they have had meetings at the surgery. Everyone is trying to support them, including me, but they are not helping themselves or her. She was here this morning for breakfast, and I gave her a huge choice of food; cereals, toast, eggs, fruit (fresh & tinned), and brioche rolls. She asked for one brioche roll with Nutella and some milk. Fine. My DD had the same, but when I put the plates on the table, the girl said ' I don't like Nutella'. FFS. So, grinding teeth, I offered her something else, and she asked for a Twix 'cos that's what I have at home and Grandad's'. Then she wouldn't drink her milk until I made it into a milkshake, with a straw. So, she went to school with a little milk in her belly (and no Twix!). My friend is clearly just feeding her DD whatever she wants and the older she gets, the worse the situation is becoming. Or AIBU?

I think a few parents are in denial about their children's eating habits. I comfort eat and have since I was 6 yrs when my mother died. Then, I lived with my father until he died when I was 11 yrs. (breast cancer and heart attack)
I learnt to comfort eat, and its still with me, despite being happily married and a mother of three. But, I have my issues, and I will never, ever pass them onto my children. They all eat well, and I take time to work out what we're eating as a family, to get the all important balance right.
I thin everything in moderation, and eat until you're full.
Yes, we have McDonald's once a month maybe, yes, we have homemade cakes and biscuits, and crisps on and off. And a fruit bowl on the table.

I can see how frustrated you are, and I share your frustration. But, I think you need to step back, and leave it with the parents.
Offer her what you offer you're children, a few choices, not just one. If she doesn't eat it, she goes hungry.. And tell your friend so.

Startailoforangeandgold My dd2 was bf forever and she has a sweet tooth too. My dd1 was not bf for long as it didn't work out and she doesn't have a sweet tooth. I wonder if there is a link?

Yep the twix thing may be a ruse. Last time we had people stay my DD got up went down stairs and asked them for crisps for breakfast. She said that mummy lets her have crisps for breakfast which is total bollocks. Luckily guests weren't born yesterday and and said no. Haha cheeky DD foiled you!

i have never been 1 for eating early in the morning often went to school with no breakfast,but i have always made my kids have breakfast and having now been dx with type 2 diabetes i have to have breakfast,really found it hard at first but now after a few weeks i do feel hungry when i get up.

Oh dear, poor little girl . I'm not sure what more you can actually do though, above offering only healthy/appropriate breakfasts when you are looking after her.

Does she really have a Twix at home for breakfast? It reminds me of when DS2 went to stay with Dsis for a weekend - he told her he had chocolate biscuits & coke for breakfast. He doesn't . However, the level of obesity you describe does clearly indicate a food problem so I suppose it's sadly possible.

Quangle I was bottle fed, can't stand the taste of milk and have the sweetest tooth known to man.

Oh and she could have just been making the twix thing up I doubt it though

About 6 months ago DD went for a sleepover at my aunts house and before bed asked her "Do you do bedtime snacks in this house?"

She was only turned 3 and has never had a bedtime snack in her life!!

Hmmm my DDs told my dad they had "cookies" for breakfast and were overjoyed when frowning he gave them cookies. They do have Nesquick cereal cookies for breakfast however......

My poor dad!

There's only a fraction more sugar in a twix than there is in a bowl of Honey nut cheerios by the way. And a brioche and Nutella is pretty much a twix without the toffee!

Not criticising just pointing out.

If only she had asked for a twin AND a fruit shoot

*twix

Ah I despair, and for the second time this morning! I'm overweight, and was as a child. My brother (15yrs older) and sister (13yrs older) were always very slim as children but for as long as I can remember I had the embarrassment of having to buy age 15 clothes when I was about 9-10. I knew I was overweight and as I got older it bothered me more and more.

I have a DD 4 who's what I consider a healthy weight for her age, her school trousers are age 4-5 and fit in the leg but are too big on the waist, but when she started in nursery, so kids were 3-4 I was shocked at how many of them were visibly overweight at that young age! Then I nearly had a heart attack at the parents giving the kids sweets, choc and fizzy drinks etc when they were collected. To put this in perspective, the kids went to nursery at 9am and had a snack of fruit and milk and were collected at 11:30am.

I'd absolutely hate for my DD to feel the way I felt as a child so I'm a hard arse, if she asks for crap I say no, if she cries, tough. This seems impossible for some parents to get their heads around!

OP I feel for you, you obviously care about this child but it's her parents responsibility and duty to do something about her weight problem and their lifestyle not yours.

I would mention to the mother that you are concerned and say she didn't have breakfast and then the next time you have her, give her and your DD the same without even asking. In my house that would be a bowl of cereal, not the sugary type, some fruit and a yoghurt. Milkshake powder is banned in my house as my DM gives DD enough crap when she's up there including bloody milkshakes!

Actually Trazzletoes my husband and i were both bottle fed and both have very sweeth teeth, so there goes my theory!

Thousands of healthy French children go to school full of brioche and Nutella so I think offering that to my kids as an occasional treat is ok (I know, I lived in France for 7 years). I think if you have a balanced diet, then the odd Twix is ok too. This child will refuse each item food until she gets what she wants. She is the perfect mix of Augustus Gloop and Verruca Salt. Her parents are buying her a puppy this weekend because she ate a whole roast dinner. I wish I was joking.