to step in and take over the situation?

[financialwizard]

My DC11 has decided this week that he no longer wants to see his DF. There is a long and complicated story behind this (DV, Bullying, Drugs). DC11 is now getting more and more text messages from DF (bordering on harrassment) trying to pressurise DC11 into going to his house. DC11's DF will not call the house because he knows I will shield DC11 from this and tell him to fuck off and stop bullying his own child. However due to these messages DC11 has started to play up at school due to stored up frustration and being angry with his DF.

I have already started to monitor DC11's email account daily instead of weekly in case DF is getting abusive (he does that a lot). I have told DC11 I am more than happy to tell his DF that he needs to leave him alone for the forseeable and let DC11 get in contact if he so wishes.

I think you need to remain neutral and be guided by what your DC wants you to do.

And keep monitoring, obviously.

an you are being unreasonable because?

If your child's father is being abusive then of course stop contact.

Thanks WorraLiberty. I don't want to tread on DC's toes. Just really worried. I guess that is what Mum's do!

What does your DC want you to do? Keep out of it or step in?

If he is sending abusive texts that are upsetting your son can you not change his mobile number?
Either by getting a new sim card (some companies do them for free like O2 or you can buy them in £1shops) or contact the provider if a contract phone and explain that your son needs a new number because he is being bullied.
Then your son can contact his father on his terms if he wishes to when things have calmed down.

Also he could get a new email account very easily.

I think if you limit the ways his father can contact him you are giving your son the control back. He will have the means to contact his dad as and when he wants to. But obviously if there is an emergency the father can ring the house and speak to you.

Good plan Littleprincess. I shall speak to him about it when he gets home.

I echo getting him a new sim or asking if the phone company will change the number, and a new email for him.
If your son wants to contact your father get him to use the free pc to mobile websites (google as they change everyso often or try to start charging) which will mean he's not revealing his number

Re number changes: I'm with O2 and needed to change number recently as a ancient (in terms of years since we split up) ex cannot understand that I'm now married and to leave me the heck alone. O2 were fab, number change was free and happened within 30 minutes.