It's so hard to explain. I categorically do not ever want him back, so this isn't a 'want my family back together' thing.
We have a 20 month old. Exs baby is due next week.
There are so many things about this that piss me off!
Issue 1 is that he can now no longer afford to see his first child so access has dropped right down to less than once a month. That's really the only issue as far as my son goes (apart from minor drop in maintenance which I can cover)
I think my other issues are me being a miserable whiny bitch!
I think children are too important to mess about, so the fact he's knocked up ow so soon (they've only been together 18 months) really annoys me. His dad set up satellite families up and down the country that he never saw once he moved on. He's started to do it to my son and I can see the pattern repeating with this new one.
I am bitter, but why should the ow get support from a partner (albeit a shitty one on my opinion!) with her baby when he fucked off and left me with our son when he was 4 months old?
I will admit that I'm totally jealous! I would love another baby. But I'm still living at home, only work 3 days a week and have only been seeing my partner for a year. I'd love a baby, but not under those circumstances.
I feel really weird about the fact that my son is soon to have a half sister which is nothing to do with me and produced by the ow who unsuprisingly I hate! We live 100s miles apart so it's unlikely I'll ever see this child, but if my baby is going to have siblings, I want them to be mine- do you understand?
I just feel bitter, pissed off, upset, angry, jealous, everything!
Aibu for feeling like this?