Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset and annoyed with DP

39 replies

bigsnugglebunny · 20/09/2012 08:00

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable, or justified in this...

DP goes to a Whisky Club every other Wednesday. He's done this since before we met. They all meet and share two different bottles of unusual and rare whisky - because there's a few of them, they only have a couple of glasses each. So he usually gets home about 11.30pm, and is merry but never drunk.

Last night he came home, I have no idea what time - because I was asleep. But I woke up at 3am and he was staggering upstairs, drunk out of his mind - he came to bed and promptly fell asleep.

Today is my birthday. I got up with the children at 6am and have sat here with them by myself since then. He's still snoring upstairs. I've had no presents because he is "sorting" them and had obviously planned to give me them when we're all up.

DS1 has now left for school breakfast club, DS2's taxi gets here in about 20 minutes - so neither of them are going to be around when he finally pulls his arse out of bed.

He has a medical condition, which is made worse when he has a hangover - which pretty much means that I can write off today, because he will probably need to stay in bed.

Here's the bit where I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable - he doesn't do it often at all. He only goes out to whisky club, and it's only fortnightly. Out of those nights he maybe gets stupidly drunk twice, three times a year... So it's not as if he does it all the time.

I'm just sad and feeling crappy because I feel like he's ruined my day. But then there's the part of me that just thinks I'm a 34 year old woman, I need to pull myself together!

OP posts:
iknowwho · 20/09/2012 11:55

I would be pissed off because I have become used to having my breakfast in bed and then flowers bought up and then my presents and cards. I love my birthday being treated extra special!

However if this happened to me I wouldn't be in tears about it. I'd just carry on and have a dig later when he is up to it!

bubby64 · 20/09/2012 11:58

My DH did this a couple of years ago, and, be assured, it will NOT happen again [evil eye emoticom] Forget him for the moment, have a lovely day and make sure he is fully aware of your feelings when he does decide to surface. Happy Birthday Thanks

NoobytheWaspSlayer · 20/09/2012 12:04

YANBU. He is an arse for being so thoughtless. Because he did know it was your birthday today, and he knew how hangovers affect him, and yet when it got to that point in the evening when he had a choice to go - 'no thanks, I've had enough, it's my wife's birthday tomorrow' instead he went 'fuck it - I'm having another one'. Then he topped it off with another 1/3 of a bottle of whisky when he got home. Which really is shitloads of spirits.

I would be angry, and he would damn well know I was angry too.

puds11 · 20/09/2012 12:09

Happy birthday!!!

YANBU, he knew it was your birthday today and still chose to get steaming drunk last night. You said he doesn't normally get drunk, which makes it even worse that he did so last night.

If i was you, i would milk it for all its worth.

Donkeysdontridebicycles · 20/09/2012 12:13

Happy birthday OP, Thanks hope you can have some cake and open your presents when your sons get home, poor timing on your DP's part and don't blame you for feeling he could have reined himself in.

JustSpiro · 20/09/2012 12:27

What a pillock to do it the night before your birthday! However, if he doesn't normally behave like this I'd suggest you read him the riot act, give him the chance to make it up to you and make him promise never to do it again.

Happy birthday btw (it's mine today too - and it hasn't been terribly interesting either!) Thanks Wine

Numberlock · 20/09/2012 12:29

I love the sound of Whisky Club as an official excuse for getting shit-faced!

Anyone want to join my Vodka Club? We will be sampling "unusual" and "rare" vodkas such as - Glen's, Tesco value, Tamova Premium from Aldi...

bogeyface · 20/09/2012 13:01

I'm no expert but to me that level of drinking points to a drinking problem.

That took longer than I expected Hmm

He does it three times a YEAR. Three times a week or month then you might have a point, but I dont think that getting plastered three times a year points to a drink problem. Doing it the night before a special day points to a selfishness problem though.

bogeyface · 20/09/2012 13:03

Number I have several flavoured ones, lime, grapefruit (my favourite), mango, cranberry and toffee! Can I join?!

Had them for months, so a vodka club would be a great way to get rid of them!

Numberlock · 20/09/2012 13:06

bogey We're talking the same language! I'd be more than happy to help you get rid of them!

When do we start???

margerykemp · 20/09/2012 13:07

He's an arse for fucking up your birthday, what ever the reason.

This isnt about this club.

It is about today.

bigsnugglebunny · 20/09/2012 14:27

Aye, it's not a regular thing - two glasses of whisky every fortnight is fine... being drunk once in a while is also fine. I was just upset that he, at some point, either completely forgot what today was; or didn't really care so carried on drinking.

Usually for birthdays, we all get up - there's present opening, a nice family breakfast... Which is why I was so disappointed really.

Have had a lovely lunchtime with my mum and sister, shame they had to leave quite early - but they live an hour away and my sis had to be back for the school run.

He's been up, gave me my presents - full of apologies and feeling terrible about it. There have been some tears (from both of us) and I basically said that I don't want to spoil the whole day - so we're going to pop out with the children for tea, and have a nice evening. Drawn a line under it really. (I don't think it'll happen again mind you!)

Thank you for the birthday wishes, and also the support! I haven't been on Mumsnet very long, and I do really appreciate being able to talk on here and get some opinions. Smile

OP posts:
JustSpiro · 20/09/2012 17:31

Glad it's sorted and hope you have a lovely evening Smile.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 20/09/2012 17:45

Good for you. Happy birthday. You sound like you have a nice DH mostly.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page