to think "liking" memorative pages on FB is actually disrespectful.

[5inthebed]

Sorry, its a FB one.

The past couple of days there have been updates coming on my FB page from friends "liking" unofficial pages set up for people who have appeared in the news because they have died. This includes the little girl who died on her first day of nursery, the family who died in the slurry pit and the two PC who were shot. The beginning of the month, there were pages for the victims of 9/11

I think it is quite disrespectful to like them, especially given that none of the people clicking on the pages actually knew the person who has died.

Something just doesnt sit right when I see these pop up on my feed.

An yes, I can block them yada yada yada

LIKE is often not acurate, but it is often the only public acknowledgment there is.

I liked my PC friend's post about the two murdered officers... she was trying to rally her colleagues to give up their time to cover their Manchester colleagues so they could attend the funerals.

In general YANBU, but sometimes I feel the need to acknowledge something and LIKE is the only option. Though to a non FB'r I can understand the discomfort. I also loathe people who LIKE everything.

It's not about liking it more about showing respect for what has happened.

I am very wary nowadays of any of the groups or pages that say "press LIKE if you agree" etc. I cant remember where I read it, but a certain number of likes on a page allows the creator of it to have free advertising. So a lot of it is nothing but them drumming up some business and bollocks all about true sentiment.

It's not something I would do but if I saw such a thing pop up on feed I'd probably roll my eyes, wonder why I'd never had them down for someone who would do something like that and forget it in a split second!

Sometimes people just want to like it to show their support but don't know what to put as a comment, would be better if they perhaps had a support button or something when line isn't appropriate but it doesn't bother me!

But its just clicking a button, probably not much of a thought given, just another page to like. And not even official ones, just a page someone thought they'd be cool and set up.

I don't know, maybe it makes me feel a bit sad that this is the norm these days, someone dies, a few thousand pages get set up on FB in their honour, even though the page creators probably didn't even know the victim.

I hope when I die nothing is set up like that for me because I'll have a shrine

I agree with you. It's called mourning sickness and it has blossomed along with the internet.

Wow, didn't realise there was an actual name for it!

I hate all these daft like posts - memorials-military pictures - whatever - if you don't like you don't care? Yes my entire morals and values can he assessed by whether I click a photo on fb. Fuck that

it is hard though
you want to do something, but liking a sad thing seems wrong

Pages like that piss me off, frankly. Do people honestly think that "liking" something on facebook will make a difference? It also is almost arrogant, as well as ignorant, as the people starting (as well as others liking) these pages tend to have no personal connection to what has happened, or knowledge of it.

I agree wholeheartedly OP. I am a bit of a FB virgin, and was quite shocked when a close friend of mine posted on the anniversay of her stillborn son and other people 'liked' the post. I spoke to her personally (imagine!) and commented on how uncomfortable I felt with the idea of 'liking' her grief, but she assured me that it is perfectly acceptable.

I still can't do it though.

That's how I feel when my friend acknowledges her sons birthday Exit. She also posts about gong to his grave etc, people liking that as well, wtf!

At least now we have a name for it, and know that we are not alone when we refrain from liking 'grief' posts.

I think it's just a way for people saying they care and feel touched by the incident. It can come across as a bit crass, I agree, but that is se,loom the intention.

*that is not the intention

YANBU. But then I don't like FB anyway.

Seeing as though you can't give a reason for why it's disrespectful other than it doesn't sit right with you, YABU. A gut feeling is just a vague feeling. You could say that grief is about much more than clicking a button. You could also say that it's a nice way to show there's a network of support about. I assume you're talking about Lydia Bishop- a lot of my friends who go to the college are writing thoughtful messages about her/to her family or liking FB pages....I haven't seen anything flippant so I doubt any of the likes are not considered.

YANBU.

Someone has already used the 'mourning sickness' term.

I find it inappropriate and mawkish. I blame Princess Di. All this mis-placed voyeuristic phoney grief started when she died.