WWYD - Friend borrowing laptop

10 replies

lola88 · 19/09/2012 19:17

Short version is my oldest friend borrowed my laptop (we had 2) to do work for college as she was preg and struggling to finish before the baby came, Since i had 2 and wanted her to do well i gave her a loan of mine. I made it clear it was a loan only and i wanted it back.

She has been in a very abusive relationship for years which has ened thank god but she has just told me after 6 weeks that she gave a loan of it to him and now he's refused to give it back. I'm totally shocked she done this i would have trusted her with anything before but not at all shocked he won't give it back tbh it's prob long sold. She's offered to repay me but i know she struggles as it is.

So my problem is do i try to recover it from him which extremly unlikely and will prob end up in hassle (and more) for my friend she has 2 young kids so i don't want that, let her repay me some of the cost as it wouldn't be worth as much as when i bought it anyway, or just accept it's gone. Our other laptop is giving up so i need a new one and could afford to buy one but would leave me struggling.

OP posts:

LadySybildeChocolate · 19/09/2012 19:19

I'd go and have a chat with your local community policeman/woman, as legally it's theft.

fluffyraggies · 19/09/2012 19:24

Sorry this has happened to you. I don't know what the right thing to do is OP, but personally i'd probably let it go.

We live and learn y'know? I would say it isn't worth the possible ramifications, to your friend or to you, of pushing to get it back :(

Wheresmypopcorn · 19/09/2012 19:24

I would probably accept it's gone. Who knows if he deliberately hung on to it for the sole purpose of opening up that communication with her again? Yes, she shouldn't have given it to him but I am guessing she was not in the right frame of mind and was under quite a load of stress. Can you ask around and perhaps get a second hand one from someone rather than a brand new one if you can't afford one?

SuePurblybilt · 19/09/2012 19:24

You ring the Police, surely? Non-emergency number or go into the station, but ring them all the same.

TeamEdward · 19/09/2012 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheMonster · 19/09/2012 19:27

I wouldn't contact him. I think you either let it go or ask her to pay you for it.

Joiningthegang · 19/09/2012 20:59

Let it go and accept you did the right thing for your friend at the time and she hasn't been malicious in not getting it back to you - I'm sure she is mortified and would if she could.

Karma will repay you in the long run x

puds11 · 19/09/2012 21:01

From what i know (personal experience) of abusive relationships, she probably had no choice but to give it to her. I would buy a new one, perhaps ask her to contribute what she can?

fluffiphlox · 19/09/2012 21:05

Ask her to buy you a new one?

WhereYouLeftIt · 19/09/2012 21:21

I'd be inclined to ask him directly for it back, and if you get any trouble off him make it clear to him you will go to the police and report that he has stolen it from you. She cannot have GIVEN it to him, it was not hers to give; it remains your property. If he deprives you of your property, it is theft.

"So my problem is do i try to recover it from him which extremly unlikely and will prob end up in hassle (and more) for my friend"
I'm probably being really thick here, but how will he hassle her? Apart from moaning at her, what can he do? Might she actually like seeing him in trouble with the law?

Flip