to be hurt by MIL and the way she reacted at me coming back early?

[newmummytobe79]

I make sure my baby see's the inlaws every week.

They have been pushing for more time (it's usually a full afternoon once a week, usually with me there, sometimes not)

Today I had to go shopping for one thing but knew they'd love time on their own with DC so said I'd be around 2 hours.

I got a text to say I could drop off baby earlier - but I had a few things to do so said I wouldnt be early but would bring afternoon tea with me if I was late from shopping.

When I got there I was told how reasonable a long-park carpark was - I got the hint and decided to be longer.

After wandering around on my own for ages (with no shopping spending money except for the essentials!) I decided to go back as I was bored.

It was as if I'd done something dreadful! And I'd sat in the carpark for 15 minutes texting friends to drag the time out.

I just felt so unwelcome :(

I knew they wanted to feed baby so suggested they did. I went to the toilet/made drinks etc so I wasn't 'over-seeing' whilst they fed baby.

I just feel so in the way, as if their time with baby should be without me.

AIBU to feel hurt and is this normal GP behaviour?

I know my parents love it when both me and baby visit ... but I am their daughter I guess.

If they had made me feel that unwelcome I would have left and taken my DC with me. It is very rude of them.

Chocolate in your position I would not allow them to see my DCD at all. You have put up with way too much. What does your DH say?

just an extention of the people she loves most in the world.

clearly OP doesn't feel that extended love oozing from her ILs.

sorry to hear that chocolate, hope you're finding strength somewhere.

the smug lecturers who have no experience of ill treatment from their in laws always come out with the same twaddle.

there are healthy extended family relationships with mutual respect and consideration.

there are also bullying dysfunctional ***!

"AIBU to feel hurt and is this normal GP behaviour?"
YANBU and it is absolutely not normal GP behaviour. It is frankly quite bizarre behaviour.

"I make sure my baby sees the inlaws every week."
Why? Because THEY want it? What about what you want? If you're making time to see them, does something else you'd prefer to be doing have to be posponed/dropped altogether? I doubt your baby has any preference in the matter.

"They have been pushing for more time"
They have no ENTITLEMENT for any time at all. Most people spend time with others because they enjoy their company. Do you enjoy their company?

"I just felt so unwelcome"
Then tell them that. And make it clear that you don't go to places that you're not welcome. That is, after all, the sane way to behave.

I've got a supportive DH but of course they're his DPs and it's hard as he is far too scared to disrespect them. He actually actively chooses to see his FIL over his own DF. Not in any way wishing to steal the post but suffice to say, life has been very tough. Im glad to see that I have support with you all as I've been made to feel like a totally unreasonable and difficult DIL. I've even gone so far as to keep a diary of every time they've seen DS or DD as they now lie to DH to say I've withheld them. Plenty of issues on their part, which thankfully he recognises and he's on my side. Im barely scratching the surface but OP, get this sorted quickly otherwise things will badly go pear shaped.

Oh and NannyOgg my ILs won't babysit in the evening. They're not prepared to give up their time when GC are asleep. This was made clear to us when DS was born.