Or am I being sensible

[rogersmellyonthetelly]

Logged onto pc this morning, dh has left his fb logged in on message page. I see half a conversation to a woman. All looks very innocent, nothing sus at all, except there's only a few lines of conversation on there. The convo I can see clearly starts randomly half way through, you can see there have been previous comments as its too random otherwise.
Dh has form for using Internet chat rooms, is currently in counselling about it, as am i, to help me deal with it, and to try to save our marriage.
I have confronted him about it just now, he swears there was nothing suspicious, admitted to deleting half the convo, apparently he does that sometimes.
Would you believe him? I don't. Aibu to think he's feeding me a fat load of bullshit?

No reason to randomly delte half a conversation. You clearly have every reason to be suspicious given his past.

I wouldn't believe a word of it.

Hmm, that's what I thought.

I'm confused as to why you are in counselling to help deal with your husband using internet chat rooms?

Would I heck believe him and I think you would have to be spectacularly naive to do so given his history.

Covering his tracks comes to mind here OP

I wouldn't believe him . Good luck OP.

admitted to deleting half the convo, apparently he does that sometimes.

Sorry, but this is suspicious. Why go to the effort of deleting half a conversation if you don't have something to hide?

I'm also slightly surprised that you are in counselling to deal with his habit of using internet chat forums inappropriately.

I have issues with my self image and how I relate to him sexually (ie I don't) due to his online infidelity, it's not something I want to go into in depth here, i know it's not my fault, but I do need a secure place where I can talk through my feelings hence the counselling.

He is taking advantage.

There is no need to delete FB conversations. I'd guess most people don't even know how.

Good luck x

arse

Horatia- exactly. I had no idea until this morning when I was trying to find the rest of the conversation that it was possible.

So if it was just the first half of your post, I'd not see the problem but then I do delete parts of conversations if they get too long so it all stays on one screen. Not sure why I do, just something I do - possibly because it appears better on mobile devices.
However given the second half of your post re Chat rooms then I'm afraid I would think it was odd and probably BS (particularly now I realise that I'm in a very small minority of people who do the "delete thing")

The incident this morning is part of such a larger picture that it is somewhat irrelevant in my eyes.

Did he tell you who the woman is, irrespective of what the conversation with her was about?

I don't think I'd want to shag anyone who did that either OP, but I wouldn't see it as my problem, more his.

It's very suspicious and he has form. No I don't believe him. I'm sorry.

I know it annoys people when posters say this (I have no idea why), but maybe move this to Relationships?

There are (unfortunately) many, many women with similar experiences and concerns.

It may well be that the half of the conversation he deleted was innocent but not something he'd be comfortable about you seeing (see the thread about the phone conversation!!)...

He has form though, so I would be suspicious too.

If you want to see the rest of the conversation, have you tried looking in the message archive? Lots of people don't realise that's where their "deleted" messages go...

Ah yes the archive. He has properly deleted them, they aren't in the archive. If there were no convos at all I'd just assume he was shit hot at housekeeping, but there are loads of old convos on there, just this one half deleted.

Oh dear.

Someone with form who genuinely wanted to be better wouldn't have the kind of conversation online that he would need to delete.

Long story short, DH doesn't get to keep his FB password a secret from me.

Exactly horatia. I have told him many times recently that it's not the online shit which is destroying our marriage, it's the lies surrounding it. If I had confronted him this morning and he had said, yes, I had a convo and it got a bit out of hand, I'm sorry, I'm trying, I deleted it because I was ashamed and I didn't want you to see, I would have said fine, speak to the counsellor about it, Rome wasn't built in a day, keep trying and we will get there. Instead I got a load of bullshit as usual about how there was nothing inappropriate etc, I have to believe him, he doesn't care what I think he knows he wasn't doing anything wrong. I've heard that Bollocks so many fucking times if I hear it again i swear I'll scream.

I've heard that Bollocks so many fucking times if I hear it again i swear I'll scream

What's in the past has gone, you can't change that. However, the question is how much longer are you going to accept this situation?

To delete, then delete from archive says BIG RED FLAGS to me. Sorry.

He has just txt me to apologise and admits there was a little flirting, that's why he deleted it. That's all I wanted, just some honesty. There's way more back story than I've mentioned on here, it's not a case of how long I will put up with it, I'm not putting up with it any longer that's why we are both in counselling, it's not quite as simple as him being a cheating bastard, if it was I would have been out the door a long time ago.

If you just clear the chat window its not deleted the converstaion, you have you manually go in to delete the whole conversation, otherwise it just goes to archive