to not buy a wedding present?

[MakeHayNotStraw]

An old uni friend is getting married at the end of the month, I am going (but not dh or dcs as it's a child-free wedding) as he was a close friend at uni and there are going to be loads of our old group there. I haven't seen him or them for a while so don't want to miss it.

However, the petrol for the drive down (3 hours) and the hotel (sharing with another friend) are really stretching us. And they put on their wedding invitation that our presence is the only gift they want but if we want to buy anything here is the wedding list. So, WIBU to take them up on that and just get a card rather than a gift? Or is it the kind of thing that is written but not really meant, iyswim?

I geuinely don't know. I think DH would expect me to get them a gift, but I'm just not sure we can afford to do that as well.

Help!

What are their honeymoon plans? Guide book or something useful?

A token gift would be fine.

I wouldn't think it rude at all... I got married a few weeks ago. We live a fair treck away from most of our guests, and REALLY meant it when we said we would just love people to come! Xx

Get them a card.

Been in this position, and ignored the gift list, and spent £10 on a gift.

If I'm short of cash, I buy off list, so nobody knows how much I've spent.

I would buy a present. Only 1 couple didn't get us a present when we got married last year and obviously I have not and would not mention it to anyone else but it did strike me as odd. A bottle of wine or cava is inexpensive and would be appreciated, op.

In these instances I dig at the back of the booze cupboard for something sparkling

DD1 got married a few weeks ago. She did the presence not presents thing as the cost of attending a wedding (petrol, clothes, hotel, baby sitter, whatever) is quite high. I think if someone puts that in an invitation, that is what is meant.

what about buying a lovely notebook and passing it discreetly around the tables for people to write messages? then stick it in a cheap gift bag at the end?

Take a digital camera, whiz about snapping great shots and on between service and reception nip somewhere print of pictures and stick in little album.
People wait ages for their wedding photos and when a guest did this at our wedding we really appreciated it.

Bottle of champagne? Half price of course.

Just get a nice card, maybe one that reflects their/your personality. I have to be honest we didn't ask or do a list so we had a table full of cards, most contained Money which was very generous of the guests but, most importantly for me, whenever I fancy a little gooey eye moment over my wedding I get the cards out and read all the lovely messages. Messages and sentiment are far, far more lasting than plonk or a candle or a really expensive gift.

Most people also aren't disengenuos when it comes to their wedding, of they wanted gifts they would not mention the 'your presence is gift enough' stuff so if they've said it then that's what they mean. Don't stress, go have a lovely time

They've said that you don't need to get a present.

This means that you don't need to get a present.

It really is as simple as that.

What about buying a newspaper of the day of their wedding and putting the front page into a cheap picture frame so they will always have a reminder of their day.

I'm probably a bit odd but I would love to remember what was going on the day we got married. It was so long ago I can't think what the stories were!

When we got married one if DH's old uni mates and his wife were super cash strapped. We were so delighted that they could come to our wedding (long trip with toddler, they actually camped as they couldn't stretch to a hotel, how's that for devoted friendship!) that I honestly didn't expect a gift from them. They gave us a tenner in a card, which was more than appreciated and ample and I'd have been happy with a card alone so long as we had them there to celebrate (and get very, very amusingly drunk) with us. Good friend's win every time over gift vouchers!

They will probably get so much other stuff that they won't notice. if they do they willvprobably understand your circumstances. I love a good wedding but must admit nowadays I think of all the money It's going to cost. If you feel you ought to get something what about a nice bottle of Prosecco, quite often get a decent bottle for around a tenner, nice gift bag - jobs a good un!

Thank you all for your replies - some good ideas, if I decide to take something. Knowing my mate, a bottle will be appreciated! Love the newspaper idea as well.

I couldn't go with nothing, but you can get something personal as it shows you have thought of them.
You can find personalised Wedding day keepsake poems for £2.99 on ebay - buy a cheap frame - sorted.
Also like the idea of buying a nice notebook so all the guests can write something and keep as a momento. Again you can get personalised wedding day notebooks from ebay for £5.99.

To be honest they probably won't even notice who got what. I once got a thank you card for a wedding present/money. I hadn't given them anything as I was broke. Don't get tacky wine glasses or a cheesy photo frame. They will only end up in the charity shop.