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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want my cat to stay indoors for a very silly reason?

207 replies

monkeysafari · 18/09/2012 12:54

I have a 4 month old kitten. My partner wants to let her out soon. I really don't want to let her out at all, ever. Why? Because I don't want her bringing home dead, or living, birds/mice etc.

Is it really wrong to keep a cat inside? Do they have to go out??

OP posts:
seeker · 19/09/2012 07:13

People are berated on here for keeping a dog in anything but the most perfect of conditions "You shouldn't have got him then!" is a common cry.

How come the same doesn't apply to cats? Where are the "mad cat ladies" when you need them?!

lljkk · 19/09/2012 07:45

I thought that was because Cat Owners were much saner than the Dog Lot. Wink

Shodan · 19/09/2012 08:12

cybbo- do you have a shed or garage you could have a cat flap put in to? Or you could try something like this www.amazon.co.uk/Lindee-Lu-Deluxe-Cat-Cabin/dp/B00342NPZS/ref=tag_stp_s2_edpp_url

Shodan · 19/09/2012 08:15

You can have a flap put into glass but is vair expensive. Also possible to have one put into brickwork.

geegee888 · 19/09/2012 08:18

Bobblehead Its a city by-law where I live (not UK) that cats must not be outdoors off private property unless on a leash.

Where on earth is that Bobblehead, sounds horrific! (So I can avoid ever living in such a city).

I'm in the Netherlands right now, and its noticeable that the cats on the streets are a bit less timid and more friendly than in the UK. I even saw one using a zebra crossing the other day! (well trained, the cats here!)

RubyGates · 19/09/2012 08:30

How long before we in the UK import the horrible US practice of de-clawing poor curtain-climbing cats with cabin fever?

Cats are hunters and need to be let out, unless they decide otherwise. Do you want to sit in the same surroundings 24 hours a day 365 days a year? No/ Thought not.

If you want a mindless fluffy house-pet don't get a cat.

mrsbugsywugsy · 19/09/2012 08:51

cybbo we had a cat flap put in a glass door, it was the only place for it. I think it cost around £100 and the fitter actually made a new piece of glass with space for a cat flap, so we have the original piece in the loft in case we sell the house to non-cat owners. I think the cost is very dependent on the size of the piece of glass though.

I can understand that certain breeds of cat aren't suitable for an outdoor life, but for me one of the attractions of cats is that they are independent and can come and go as they please, so I wouldn't have chosen one of those breeds.

Saying all that, the first time we let our kitty out i was a nervous wreck!

She turned out to be a pretty rubbish hunter though - too well fed, I think. She once bought in a sausage from next door's barbecue.

OrangeFireandGoldashes · 19/09/2012 08:57

My current two cats (litter sisters) are house cats and have been since kittens. When I first got them I was living in an urban area with a very busy main road and a known FIV problem among the local strays so I made the decision to keep them in.

It IS more work, both in litter tray cleaning (but at least I know they aren't shitting in someone else's garden) and in making sure they're active and stimulated. TBH I would never keep a single cat as a house cat unless it was an elderly cat from a shelter who specifically needed a single indoor home. My two enjoyed playing with each other as kittens, although they're a bit more aloof now at the age of ten. They have various 'structural' toys to climb on/into and their absolute favourites - a shoelace and a rolled-up bit of tin foil.

When we moved to this house we started letting them out into the garden when we are out there, but no further. One of them is happy enough to lie in a sunbeam when we're outside but shows no interest in hunting, the other is scared of the big outdoors and tends to hover by the door obviously trying to tell us all to come back in where it's safe! Neither of them have shown any tendency to escape through doors - unless it's the door to the bedroom - or gaze wistfully out of the window / yowl to be out etc. If they had, I would have changed the set-up to allow more frequent outside access.

I do think some posters on here have a very black and white view. I see cats chucked out every day hail, rain or shine when their owner goes out to work who then spend virtually the whole day - or significant enough chunks of it that they're in the same spot every time I pass those houses - huddled on the doorstep or pressed up against the window obviously longing to be back inside. They don't look particularly happy for being outdoor cats. It's whatever suits individual cat and individual owner.

And as for wanting a fluffy Furby or whatever the insult was, get over yourself. If none of the people who had house cats were willing or, even worse, "allowed" to have those cats, there would be hundreds - if not thousands - more unwanted cats in rescue or being PTS than there are already. So long as the owner is prepared to recognise their responsibilities to give the cat sufficient stimulation, it can be a perfectly viable and satisfactory way for a cat to live.

So OP, I don't think YABU per se but I wouldn't do it with a solo cat and I wouldn't do it for the hunting reason. It has to be about what's best for the cat in your individual circumstance, not what's best for you.

Paiviaso · 19/09/2012 09:06

Rubygates, I'll turn that on its head. Why get a cat when you are just going to let it roam the streets, and have no control over it and let it fend for itself?

Whenever I read posts on here about people's cats gone missing, or people's cats being beaten up by neighbour's cats, or cats coming in to people's houses, or cats digging up and shitting in gardens, cats being hit by cars, I just shake my head.

seeker · 19/09/2012 09:16

My cats don't "fend for themselves"- they spend a significant amount of time asleep in front of the Aga! Or, bizarrely, curled up on the ironing board.

But they do come and go as they please. They are well fed and looked after, but they are allowed to lead proper cat lives. If in the course of leading a proper cat life they come to grief, I will be heartbroken, but I am not so selfish as to restrict their freedom to try to protect myself from the pain that is, sadly, an inevitable part of forming a relationship with an animal that has a much shorter life span than me.

steppemum · 19/09/2012 09:20

I have to say if you have a cat and no cat flap, I hope you are not out at work all day. My neighbour does this, and when cat is outside during the day, it has no access to food or shelter, so guess what? It comes in through my cat flap and eats my cats food, sleeps on my bed and wees on my dining room carpet.

I have had cats for years, I think a catflap is essential, so cat can be itself. Sleep all day safe in its own place if it wants to, or go out and about being, well, a cat. They are only really semi-domesticated, they need to be a cat.

My current cat is cuddly dopey bunch of fluff. He is also a killer hunter, at our old house he spent ours catching mice that lived in the stone garden walls. But he never brings them in, eats them outside.

I have to say in the summer our back door pretty much stands open all day long with kids in and out, not sure what you do with a house cat then.

Paiviaso · 19/09/2012 09:22

And I'm not so selfish as to risk my pets lives and cause problems in the neighborhood because I can't be bothered to provide a rich indoor environment or controlled outdoor exploration.

HazleNutt · 19/09/2012 09:23

steppemum, we had the same problem so now have a cat flap with chip reader, that only lets our own cats in.

Goofus · 19/09/2012 09:30

I didn't realise it was a done thing to have a cat but no catflap and so, a Housecat.

The reason the OP has given is the exact reason I won't get a cat. I couldn't deal with all the gruesome things they bring indoors. I really couldn't. I didn't realise not letting them out was an option, as such.

I don't know if YABU or not OP as I haven't really heard of people keeping their cats indoors before. I don't know if it's cruel or perfectly all right. Confused

seeker · 19/09/2012 09:32

"And I'm not so selfish as to risk my pets lives and cause problems in the neighborhood because I can't be bothered to provide a rich indoor environment or controlled outdoor exploration."

Get a rabbit.

OrangeFireandGoldashes · 19/09/2012 09:33

My problem nowadays with free-roaming cats (and I say this as someone whose first half-dozen or so cats could come and go through a catflap) is that "coming to grief" as per Seeker's comment could be a long slow drawn-out painful process - bleeding / starving to death after being injured by a car, say - with no guarantee that there will be anyone around to end its suffering.

Also, horrible though it is to contemplate, there are some cruel people in the world and as cats seem to polarise opinion more than most animals, some despicable low-life types who seem to treat cats as fair game for some pretty awful treatment. I couldn't bear the thought of it being my cat trapped in a wheely bin or having a firework tied to its tail because I wasn't around to keep an eye on it. [shudder] I know the chances are thankfully small but I would struggle to take that risk these days, as I get older and softer.

steppemum · 19/09/2012 09:35

I would love to get a chip reader door, but my cat has thick fluffy hair that matts around any collar I put on, so it doesn't seem very fair to him.

midori1999 · 19/09/2012 09:35

seeker I think you will find most 'crazy cat ladies' would

Rubygates I can't see declawing ever UK. My cat wouldn't dream of climbing my curtains! She loves a good play, has five minutes of 'zoomies' occasionally, but she can't even be bothered to jump the stairgates, she's too posh, don't you know? (well, she seems to think so anyway and why jump them when she can train me to open them... Grin ) She is not at all stir crazy and is perfectly happy being kept indoors. Having owned a cat that was not, I can tell the difference.

midori1999 · 19/09/2012 09:36

Would agree that some cats are better off kept indoors.... (that was meant to say.... )

midori1999 · 19/09/2012 09:36

Crazy cat ladies would agree that soem cats are better off indoors, I mean.... Blush

steppemum · 19/09/2012 09:39

I have to say that all my cats have been neutered and they really don't go very far from home, neither do my mums cats. My cat is pretty much always within earshot.
I can test this by getting out my chopping knife and sharpening it. He is always at my feet in seconds, even if I am just chopping onions!

The cat that roamed the furthest was when I lived in a terraced house in London and she went up and down the all back gardens in the terrace. Even when we lived in the country they weren't to be found very far from home, and mostly in our garden.

HazleNutt · 19/09/2012 09:39

steppemum, no not the collar reader - first they don't work and to be safe, collars have to be quick release and mine lost a collar every couple of days. So we gave up on them.

Microchip (the one vet puts under the skin) reader.

steppemum · 19/09/2012 09:48

wow, that sounds great, how much did it cost?

HazleNutt · 19/09/2012 09:53

here:
www.sureflap.co.uk/products

You can also have different settings, like that you only let cats in but not out again (like when you want to take them to vet in the morning). Not cheap but very practical, if you have a lot of strange cats around who all want to come in and fight with yours.

RubyStolenBootyGates · 19/09/2012 10:01

Paiviaso
I'm not suggesting for a moment that anyone should force a happy-indoors-fearful kitty outside. It would be petrified and miserable.

What I am suggesting is that if you want a pet that will be a 100% indoors pet, you should probably not add a creature to your family that is by nature an outdoors/hunty/pouncer-on-things. You have no guarantee of the nature of your new kitty, you need to be prepared for it to want to fulfill it's nature and not go stir-crazy and psychotic. Keeping a cat indoors that wants to go outsside is like keeping a rambler in prison. Cruel.

If you need to de-claw something to keep it indoors, you have to agree that nature is being supressed. And ask who is benefitting from the relationship? Not the cat obviously.

get a hamster/guinea pig.house rabbit if you want a dumb/fluffy affectionate thing. Not a cat.