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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be Mad at my bosses and I can't stop crying

5 replies

Natnat29 · 18/09/2012 10:14

Not sure if I'm over reacting there are hormones involved!
I'm 21 wks preg and yest on my way to wk a car went into the back of mine not terrible but whiplash and shook up. Saw dr to check baby and went down to hosp as reshus neg. in between going docs/ hosp etc I had called work to sayi'd be in or I would call later that day- when I did call them they said they had been calling my landline all morn- I explained I'd been at appointments and that I was sore and achey and would be off.
Called again this morning And after telling the office manager I was still feeling bad (whiplash lots worse today) I spoke to my line manager about covering my workload for a couple of days- I asked if she had been told what had happened she said yes and that she wasn't happy with how everything played out yest. She said she wasn't happy I hadn't done my week reports (reports that take 2 hours normally started on fri finished on mon) I said as I'd said last week I was training a new starter and covering another regions work that I was behind and that I was going to do the whole thing on the mon morn which didn't end up happening so sorry about that. She said I'd need to sort this out as I really messed up their day yest?! I said at this point that she could have raised this when I'm back in work as when I'm ringing in sick it's probably not the best time to be told off. She said she was sorry and that I'd need to just accept that and leave it. I said I'd be in tomorrow and we left it there. Im now sat here in floods of tears so pissed off that 1. They were chasing me yest 2.my boss told me off and didn't ask once how me or baby was- bearing in mind I've work there years and supported her when she's had to take carers leave etc basically slogging my guts out this is how I get spoken to

OP posts:
PomBearWithAnOFRS · 18/09/2012 10:36

When would you go on maternity leave? Is it 28 weeks or later on? See if the doctor will give you a sick note for the rest of this week so you can recover - it must have been an awful shock for you :( and decide what to do with a bit more time to think. You can have your bit all prepared (we'll help!) with suitable phrases so you can deal with the boss. I wonder, could her boss have been on her back about the reports, so she was stressed and took it out on you as havng "let her down" - not that you did or could help it! but just, in the heat of the moment, if she was upset at her boss, and it spilled over.
A few days for you to recover and her to calm down might help matters.

Longtalljosie · 18/09/2012 10:41

Leave your pregnancy out of this completely when you discuss it with them. The fact is, you were off sick due to a car crash and she's talking about work you were unable to do as a result of that car crash.

Tell her it's unfortunate but you did not intentionally miss a deadline. Point out how rare car crashes are, and how traumatic, and say there is a definite difference between calling in sick with a bug - where you might have been able to think through what wouldn't be done due to your absence - and something as unexpected and shocking as what did happen.

MyLastDuchess · 18/09/2012 11:51

Based on the way you've described it YANBU. Things like car accidents are not convenient and can really mess up your work day. That's the way it is. They should be grateful that you weren't more badly hurt, that would REALLY have inconvenienced them!

I'm sorry this has happened to you. I hope you're feeling better soon and that they get a grip.

Natnat29 · 18/09/2012 11:52

Thanks both good advice. I will have to speak to her on thurs either if I'm back in work or calling to say I'll be off longer so will keep that all in mind, have calmed down now. Think my biggest problem with it is the double standards I know that the bosses would not have spoken to everyone like that but I can't prove that anyway so will have to let it be

OP posts:
LydiasMiletus · 18/09/2012 12:21

When you speak to her, try and remain calm. Also be prepared as these things come down to interpretation. Her view of the situation could be very different.
For example did they know you were going to be off yesterday morning, do you have proof they knew? That sort of thing.
Ots awful being blindsided.

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