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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that by year 7, children should know their own phone number?

34 replies

timetosmile · 17/09/2012 22:09

I taught DS and DD our home phone number from an early age - certainly by 6 they knew what it was, in the form of a merry little jingle.

Three times this term DS has had friends over to play, and they then wanted to stay for tea / go to the skatepark etc.

I asked them to phone their Mum/Dad (on our home phone) to check- none of them knew either their home phone number or either of their parents' numbers.

"I've left my mobile at home" was the best response.

AIBU to think that, irrespective of modern gadgetry, knowing your home phone number, aged 11, should be normal practice?

OP posts:
littleducks · 17/09/2012 22:14

My parents had the same home phone number for 25 yrs, which I knew by age 5.

We are teaching kids our mobile numbers as we don't have a landline. We move too much and don't use it, we technically always have one as its in broadband deals but never plug a phone into the socket. Perhaps there gssmilies numbers change frequently, my mobile number has been the same for ten years (I port it) but some friends change mobile numbers annually.

Jinsei · 17/09/2012 22:17

YANBU. DD is 7 and has known our home number for ages, but I did make a point of teaching her. I have an abiding memory of a teacher at school really dressing down one of my friends for not knowing her own number when we were around eight, and I guess it stuck with me as something that all kids should know!

IloveJudgeJudy · 17/09/2012 22:34

YADNBU. We taught all three DC at the age of about 6 or 7. I also taught DN when she travelled on a long journey once with us. I was shocked that she didn't know hers. Doesn't matter if it's a home or mobile number. They definitely should know one. It's good for memory, too.

lisad123 · 17/09/2012 22:36

Dd1 has known ours for years!

littleducks · 17/09/2012 22:39

Argh! My phone has autocorrected too
Much.

Basically I meant that perhaps the numbers changed frequently so they didn't learn them.

But I agree it is a good thing to teach kids.

StormGlass · 17/09/2012 22:41

Blush I don't know my home number without looking it up on my mobile. Or my mobile number Blush

I'm considerably older than 11.

Clumsymum · 17/09/2012 22:43

oh blimey yes, DS knew our phone number AND address by the time he was 6. By year 7 I made sure he knew my mobile no by heart too.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 17/09/2012 22:44

DS is 20 and doesn't know ours but he does have a processing disorder so he is the exception rather than the rule. I do agree though that kids should know their phone numbers where possible.

Twonker · 17/09/2012 22:45

I work with teenagers. 30% of them do not know their own address.

lovebunny · 18/09/2012 01:21

its avoidance. they don't want you to have their home phone number. the best thing is to take them on a trip, cinema, whatever, and insist on a contact number 'in case of emergencies'. they come up with a number then, and you just hand it in a the office - after you've made your own copy, of course.

a lot of families who won't hand over numbers also won't answer if the school number shows up, so get a cheap mobile just for such calls.

Lueji · 18/09/2012 02:01

That is a good point.
I never felt the need to teach DS because he's been with family, or friends at parties, or with people I have confirmed with and phoned or texted their mobiles, or have had children whose parents have been in contact to confirm party attendance.

But should something happen, DS doesn't know our number, although he knows our home address (landline is listed).

And I remember knowing my home number and my dad's work number when I was 6/7.
In fact I think I still remember at least one of them.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 18/09/2012 02:22

Ds is 6 (p2 in Scotland) and he knows my mobile number. I check occasionally and he can rattle it off. I taught him it last year when he was just turned 5 and we were visiting friends down south just in case anything happened. It seemed like a basic safety precaution.

However he doesn't know our landline number, we hardly use it and to be frank if I ever have to quote it on a form or something I usually have to double check it myself! We moved about 2 years ago and it's just never "clicked" with me. I can however remember the landline number for my best friends house when we were about 5 .... Over thirty years ago ....

Op Yanbu I would expect them to remember at least one number, but I expect because they all carry phones at that age, they are not used to having to remember !

MackerelOfFact · 18/09/2012 07:18

Knowing their home phone number "by year 7" is fair enough if they've lived in their house for a while, but I reckon a lot of kids will have lived in 2 or 3 homes by that age. I know my parents moved us when I was in year 7 and I wouldn't have known the phone number by heart. It's not uncommon for people not to have landlines either, so they've got mum's mobile, dad's mobile, brother's mobile etc to memorise, not just one easy catch-all number!

YANBU to think they should have the relevant number(s) somewhere on their person though, such as in their school bag or planner or something.

nurseneedshelp · 18/09/2012 07:19

I'm 35 and don't know my home/mobile number!!!!

scarletforya · 18/09/2012 07:24

stormglass Ditto, I do just about know my own number but I don't know DPs or anyone else's. I know my pin number and that's it, my number memory banks are FULL

If someone tells me a number I will have forgotten the start of it before they've finished saying it! Numbers just will not stick to my brain!

tethersend · 18/09/2012 07:30

YANBU.

One of the first pieces of homework I used to set for Y7 classes was to learn their home/parent's mobile number. And I'd test them on it.

birdofthenorth · 18/09/2012 07:35

DSS, year 6, with autism, does not know own address, date of birth, name of town where we live, struggles to remember his own middle names. We are trying. But in my mind there should be very few "by age X every child should be able to"s. They are smug and unhelpful.

BellaVita · 18/09/2012 07:37

I work in a secondary school and yesterday I had some yr7's coming to me to ring home for football kits - some of them didn't know their home numbers either.

tethersend · 18/09/2012 07:39

For vulnerable children such as those with SN, I think it's even more important to teach them an emergency number. I would prioritise this over all else. Not all children will be able to memorise it, but the vast majority will, including some of those with SN.

Chopstheduck · 18/09/2012 07:39

It's just not as necessary any more. When I was little I can remember being taught to recite my address and phone number in case I got lost. DD now, would just call me on her mobile!

I don't know dd's or dh's numbers. I don't NEED to memorise them and I don't use them. I do know all my bank card numbers though, since I've typed them in online so many times. I bet twenty years ago, no one would have memorised debit/credit card numbers!

lljkk · 18/09/2012 07:55

I know a few adults who struggle to remember any of own phone numbers. No SN, just reliant on mobiles. Tis the modern way.

May I tag on a wee complaint? Why don't parents teach their children phone manners any more? I practiced with DC how to ring up a landline & ask for their friend, as in:

"Hello?"
"Hello, this is Tom, may I speak to Harry?"

Simple phone manners. And many of DC friends cannot do it, even at 10yo. They obviously haven't been taught! We get

"Hello?"
"Hello?"
"Is that Tom?"
"Yes."
"Would you like to speak to Harry?"
"Yes please."

Sheesh!! I find it tolerable at 6 or 7, but 10+?!

lljkk · 18/09/2012 07:56

Chopstheduck: DH still remembers his mom's credit card number which he was using to buy stuff with 19-20 years ago.

Clumsymum · 18/09/2012 10:24

lljkk, oh yes indeed, I worked very hard with DS to make sure he could both answer our phone appropriately (including telling cold callers I am busy and can't come to the phone right now), and ring to find out if a friend is available to play.

Strangely, the hardest bit has been getting him to say "thank you" when his mates parent tells him that the mate isn't free right now. He still has a tendancy just to end the call with "oh" or "alright then", which makes me squirm.

DeWe · 18/09/2012 10:53

I remember my dp getting a phone that had up to 15 numbers in the memory. After a couple of years we were out and needed to call dgp. Found a call box. Dm turned to me and said "What is their number?" Shock

She called it 2-3 times a day, and they'd had the same number for about 10+ years at that point. Because she wasn't using it regularly she'd forgotten it-she's normally got a very good memory, so it was doubly shocking. Actually I can still remember it: 686145, and my dgp died 10 years ago.

I decided at that point I wouldn't use the memory buttons as I wanted not to forget the numbers, and I still don't on the landline, so I know most numbers I dial regularly.

I did have problems when we first moved here because, although it was a different code, the first 3 numbers of the 6 digit bit were identical, and the second 3 were the same numbers in different order. That was a bit tricky to remember.

Original poster
timetosmile · 18/09/2012 10:56

lljkk One of DSs friends is the opposite

"Is that miniTime's mum?"
"Yes"
"I saw you in the car today"
"oh"
"Were you going to work"
"yes"
"You were going past the fire station"
"yes, that's the way to work"
"but you don't work in the fire station, do you?"
"No....would you like to speak to miniTime now?"
"ummmmmmmmmm, yeah"

OP posts: