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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Nursery poor safety

38 replies

Picoloangel · 17/09/2012 20:14

My prohibitively expensive nursery takes disorganisation to a whole new level but today they've reached a whole new depth.

Went to collect DD who is 20 months old with gorgeous curly hair. She had been given a Croydon facelift ponytail with an ordinary rubber band in her hair not even a proper ponytail band. Quite apart from the fact that she was pointing to her head saying "ouch" I have a major issue with the fact that a toddler was given an elastic band which could've been a choking hazard.

Btw I have NEVER sent her to nursery with her hair up or in slides because she puts everything in her mouth. I had even rung the nursery last week reminding them of this when I read a terrible story about a child choking to death at nursery.

AIBU? There is more to this with nursery being crap on a number levels. We are moving out of the area in the next few months otherwise I would move but just want to keep disruption for DD to avminimum and she loves it there

OP posts:

FrustratedSycamorePants · 17/09/2012 20:17

Yabu. Tie your dds hair up yourself. At 20mo she's not going to take it out. As proved by the elastic band.

RuleBritannia · 17/09/2012 20:18

If she had lunch there, they might have drawn her hair back so that it was not falling into her food. I wouldn't have liked an ordinary elastic band either though. My husband always used those fabric covered bands for his ponytail.

Original poster

Picoloangel · 17/09/2012 20:24

No, it's not long enough to get in her way when eating and I was forced to do a DIY job on her fringe recently to keep it out of her eyes so not that either.

OP posts:

Original poster

Picoloangel · 17/09/2012 20:25

Oh she does take things out but this was so tight it was hurting her

OP posts:

FrustratedSycamorePants · 17/09/2012 20:26

To the nursery have a case of headlice, And thus protecting dd?

squeakytoy · 17/09/2012 20:26

"I have NEVER sent her to nursery with her hair up or in slides because she puts everything in her mouth. I had even rung the nursery last week reminding them of this when I read a terrible story about a child choking to death at nursery"

Hmmm, they probably did to piss you off then if that is how you are with them..

I am sure that a nursery will be fully aware that small children can choke, and do put things in their mouth.. without a neurotic parent ringing them to let them know..

ceebeegeebies · 17/09/2012 20:27

Have you asked nursery if they have a policy where hair needs to be tied back? I know the nursery where my DC went too had this in place so they have to do it if you are not aware of this policy?

I do think YABU and a little bit PFB if I am honest.

Diddydollydo · 17/09/2012 20:30

If she has a fringe, how did they manage to give her a 'Croydon facelift'? (horrible term btw).

There's a child at DD's nursery with very lovely curly hair but it's never tied back and apart from looking scruffy, she seems to manage to get it caught in everything. (zips, buttons, the velcro of her slipper ffs! ) Maybe the staff were just trying to keep it away from her face, it must be fairly long if you can get it in a ponytail.

YouBrokeMySmoulder · 17/09/2012 20:31

My old nursery would often tie dds hair up in a different way. She used to love the whole process as I could never be as arsed to spend as long on it myself. Get thee to Claire's accessories and send her in with some hair bands etc.

I am not sure I would call tying a child's hair up 'disorganisation'. Unclench.

PurplePidjin · 17/09/2012 20:31

Why are you paying them if you don't like them?

Yanbu about an elastic band for hair (dp's nicked my best scrunchie ) but yabvu in your snitty attitude to their "disorganisation" and, really, ringing to tell professional carers that kids can choke on small objects? Get over yourself!

Sirzy · 17/09/2012 20:34

Seems a rather OTT reaction. Here is a daft suggestion rather than getting angry why not talk to the staff to find out why they felt hair up was a better idea?

Fakebook · 17/09/2012 20:36

You actually Phoned them up to remind them of choking hazards? I'm cringing on your behalf. YABU.

Original poster

Picoloangel · 17/09/2012 20:52

What lovely people on here. I had alot of miscarriages before DD so she is very precious. As I said there's alot more to this but I guess this was the straw that broke the camels back. Carrying on judging

OP posts:

Original poster

Picoloangel · 17/09/2012 20:54

You are a really unpleasant person

OP posts:

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 17/09/2012 20:55

You did post in AIBU!

YouBrokeMySmoulder · 17/09/2012 20:56

Sorry to hear about your miscarriages OP but all of our dc are precious to us and lots of our dc go to nursery and with that you have to let them do things that you yourself might not do and compromise a bit.

If she loves it there, that would be my number one thing to fix on. It's very easy to tell when a child is unhappy at a nursery and more common than you might think.

ceebeegeebies · 17/09/2012 20:56

I am very sorry about your miscarriages but that doesn't stop me thinking that your views and actions are over the top. I am fairly sure the nursery staff roll their eyes and have you labelled as 'one of those parents' when you ring up to tell them about childrens safety

If you post in 'Am I Being Unreasonable?' then you are always going to get people who think that you are and will criticise you.

Fakebook · 17/09/2012 20:57

That's a really stupid comment OP. I've had 4 mc's before DS was born and I still wouldn't overreact about a fucking elastic band tied around hair on a head. Yes having mc's is horrible, but you can't wrap your children up in cotton wool just because of that. I should know.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 17/09/2012 20:58

I wouldn't be that chuffed but I wouldn't be so upset that I was posting on here about it.

You need to chill....just tell them not to use elastic bands on her hair because they hurt her and EVERYONE knows they break hair.

Otherwise...forget it! Really...let the small things go...otherwise when she goes to school you'll be DEVASTATED by the influence others will have on her...so you need to relax a bit.

Sirzy · 17/09/2012 20:59

All children are precious and that doesn't make your reaction any less over the top. If you really get upset about your DDs hair being up then perhaps you need to look at yourself and your reactions to events.

Iggly · 17/09/2012 21:00

Eh? They tied her hair up...?

What's the big deal?

Nahla321 · 17/09/2012 21:02

Can't you french plait her hair for her or find some other way? Tbh i think the nursery were probably trying to help her as her hair if it is long could be getting in her way such as when she is eating or getting caught in toys etc. At 20 months i doubt she would be able to take her hair out of a ponytail to choke on the bobble if it is tied up properly and somebody would of noticed by the time she had managed to get it out. I wouldnt be happy about an elastic band as hair typically gets all knotted in them but i would just remember next time to send her with a bobble or do her hair before you go.

Mydogsleepsonthebed · 17/09/2012 21:02

How is this a safety issue?

Northernlurkerisbackatwork · 17/09/2012 21:02

I talked to my nursery staff about a hazard - blind cords. The ones there were on windows that the children did not usually climb up to but having read several stories of fatal accidents and being the parent of a very active child I did mention it. The manager was very concerned and immediately made changes so she could be sure it wasn't a risk. That was a structural issue though - that was within their power to change and eliminate that risk. No nursery can eliminate the risk of young children choking. There was a case last week of a child who choked on jelly that was being used in a sensory experience. OP - really you are over-reacting about this specific issue. If the elastic band was so firmly in that she was saying 'ouch' then she wouldn't have been able to get it out anyway. You may have issues with the nursery as a while but I don't think this should be one of them.

lisad123 · 17/09/2012 21:04

Sorry but my dd2 has amazing curly hair and looked beautiful with it down BUT there is a reason I tie it back it's called head lice!!

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