to refuse to introduce my kids to different BFs?

[onceortwice]

OK, pretty difficult one and not sure if I am BU about it.

I have 2 DSDs. Lovely girls. GOod relationships with them etc., But both much older than my DC.
DSD1 has had 1 pretty serious BF, my DC got close to him and now don't get why he's no longer about.

WHile DSD1 is a very sensible, well rounded young girl, there is going to be another 'serious' BF in the future. As there should be. And I'm not trying to tie them down to one serious relationship for ever and ever amen..

But, my kids will get attached and then not understand why the chap has disappeared.

Actually, now I've written that down, it's not AIBU at all. It's how do I explain that my DSDs are older, will have - from time to time - relationships which don't last but it's fine because they are young.

Gah... think I just answered my own question.

As you were.

YABU and I think it'd effect your relationship with your DSD if you prevented them from involving their boyfriend in the family.

I think you should just be straight with your children. They need to know that relationships don't always last.

I've never really had this issue despite my younger brothers getting to know my ex's. They just accepted it and moved on

Thanks, Goldship, I think I realised that it was a non issue by the time I got to the end of my own post

YABU, that is life, and they will understand eventually.

It's just my DS has HFA and doesn't get why DSD1's ex-BF isn't around anymore. But, agree, that's mine (and his) issue. Not my DSDs.

You did a good job of answering your own question

How old are your children OP?

you sort of answered your self , if your step daughters are young adults then you are going to have boyfriends coming and going that happens, a bit different but I am a good bit older than my sister and my DDs used to get confused with the fellas coming and going,

OP all you can tell your children is that they are not friends anymore and leave it at that,

Thanks all. My DC are 3 and 4. DSD1 is 18. Her BF was 19 and did rather become part of the family.

But, now I've actually written it down, I can see that (i) it's important for DSDs to have BFs, serious and non serious, and (ii) it's important for my DC to understand that.

Writing it down really helped understand that

I remember my uncle having various girlfriends. (He's midway in age between dm and my dsis, I remember his 21st birthday!) One gave me some lovely shells and I loved her for it, and remember being a bit sad when told she wasn't going to be coming round again. However it didn't stop me loving the next one, and looking forward to seeing her and my uncle the next time.
He got married when I was 6yo, and I loved his wife... cupboard love, I was a bridesmaid and we had a glass of champagne.

It is sad when people come and go from our lives, I thought about this the other day when a lad left our work for pastures new.

Glad youve come to an understanding OP!