Am I being ridiculous for worrying about working 1 more day?

[whoneedssleepanyway]

I currently work 3 days a week and DD1 has various wrap around arrangements on those 3 days and DD2 does 3 full days at nursery and is then at home with me the other 2 days.

I have been offered another job which is slightly better money (on Full Time Equivalent Basis). It is a much better commute (will save at least 45 mins a day) and hours are more flexible (i.e. could finish at 4:30 so be home before 5:30, at present I finish at 5:30 but often don?t get home till 6:45), but the big downside is it is 4 days a week. My DH is going to have DD2 on the extra day so I don?t have to put her in nursery another day.

I am feeling really guilty though about being apart from her for another day?but she will be with my DH. The money for working an extra day will makes things much less tight financially, I will be able to drop and pick up DD2 from nursery on the 3 days she goes there (don?t do any drop offs or pick ups at the moment as work hours don?t permit it, DH does it) and I have been in my existing job a long time and just feel like I would like to move on and have a bit of a change .

IABU aren?t I about worrying about DD2, if she is with my DH that is no different to me working 3 days really is it? I had made my mind up completely and then handed my notice in and am now getting the jitters.

I think it sounds good, you'll get more time with your kids on the days you're not working and you might appreciate the flexible working when the time comes for your kids to both go to school.

It will be fine ... i went from 3 - 4 days ..... i really didnt want to as quite enjoyed my 3 day a week job! However now my dd is at school it is great and i am glad that i dont have to look for extra work. My four days also has flexibility and i have been able to work around school times etc.

It is wonderful that your Dh will havea day as well - that way she is still having a parent ......

It sounds like a great job, better times. more flexibility, whats to hate, more cash to enjoy life ..
so heres a manly pat on the back for you ....

good luck

yabu - she'll be with dh. I could get your worry if she was in more childcare, but she's still getting quality time with a parent. I know you're probably worried about missing her though.

Sounds good as long as dh can cope and if he can't an extra day in nursery?

I do a three day week. Would help heaps if I could four and it's in the pipeline. My issue is not childcare but I do absolutely everything in the house because dh is either at work or sleeping and can I cope.

If you can cope and have the backup and it helps the family then do it.

Thanks everyone.

I do a lot of the household chores and admin (cooking, food shopping, washing, finances etc). DH recognises that he is going to have to step up a bit if I take this on.

The flexibilty is really attractive and DD2 starts school in Sept 13 and they have led me to believe I would be able to work my hours around school times when that comes. Think I would be nuts to turn this down.

YANBU because I suspect all us working mums stress about how many days our little ones are in childcare and how much quality time we get to spend with them. Since going back when my DD was 6 months old I've worked 4 days a week for a very flexible employer (and I get to work from home one day a week and leave at 4.30 the other 3). 3 days she went to a nursery school and one day with my in-laws. this continued when my DS arrived 18 months ago. Now my DD has started prep school and that's 5 days a week. I must say initially I was stressed to the hilt because it's 5 days a week and she's only 3, but she absolutely loves it (and my DS loves his nrusery). They have great friends, play nicely with other children and have (mainly) decent manners.

I think it's all about finding a balance and the one you proposed sounds like a better balance than your current one (in my opinion). I love being able to spend an hour and a half with the kids every night before they go to bed, which is something that my husband who can't get home until 7 misses out on.

For us the key is making sure that my husband and I work as a team and share the duties. I think he's not as on the ball as I am, but he tries and never grumbles when I point out that the laundry baskets are full (he washes and dries the clothes, I fold and put away). We share drop off and pick up as well as cooking. And for sanity sake we have a cleaner who comes for 3 hours a week (well worth the money). It's taken time but he understands that we are both career parents and while I may work just 30 hours a week, we both pull our weight. And my other tidbit is that on your day home, make sure you try and make the most of it. It's hard being a working mum so the temptation to spend your day home sitting on the sofa with the kids is pretty strong. But i find I try and book something special to do each Friday (swimming, trip to the library, trip to the park, go to a softplay centre, do arts and crafts, do some gardening, etc).

Yes Lord - that is how I am looking at it, that it will be mine and DD2's special day to do something together.

At present on one day off DD2 does 2 activities one early morning for an hour and one in the afternoon for half and hour, and Friday is our free day. I am thinking DH can have her on the day with the activities and then she and I can do whatever we want together on the Friday and make it a special day together once a week.

We have a cleaner now so that is sorted but DH is going to take on stuff like doing at least one meal a week and washing the towels/ bedding as I don't trust him not to shrink all my clothes