to not want DH to watch a sweary movie in the afternoon.

[NimpyWindowMash]

DH has been watching a Jason Statham movie this afternoon. It's "fuck" or "fucking" every other sentence. We have DC aged 12, 10 and 2. The 12 year old is upstairs but the 2 year old and 10 year old are within earshot of the movie. So I asked him, quite nicely I thought, to turn it off. He is now furious with me saying "When do I get any time to myself....?" Apparently I should have asked my DD to go to her room instead of him turning it off. I think this is unreasonable. It is daytime not night time and it is family living space. He could have watched it in our bedroom where we have another tv wired up to sky. Anyway, when DD agreed to go outside or go to her room, DH then had a flounce and refused to watch the movie. He is now not speaking to me and I am apparently in the wrong. I am surely not being unreasonable, am I?

UANBU

YA so NBU. He is behaving like a silly brat.

YANBU. Does he really want the 2yo to be parroting swear words at this stage?

He is behaving like a twat.

YANBU

YANBU - what a complete idiot, adult films in adult time so fine once the kids are up in bed.

Has this come up before or is he having a lapse in judgement today?

Thanks, I though he was being a twat, but just needed some reassurance because I am used to being made out to be the villain. He works so hard all week etc etc.

YABU - Statham films are a staple of cultural education in the modern world. Your DC's would benefit from exposure to this movie icon's work - his scowling glances to the camera and inimitable delivery of f-bombs offer an example of method acting of the highest quality.

You are definitely not being unreasonable - he is behaving like a baby. My DH likes playing XBox games with lots of violence and swearing, but he only plays them when the children have gone to bed. I don't see why your DH can't do the same with his film.

Oh my heart bleeds for him. "when do I get time to myself"

When do you?

He's a dick. YANBU

YANBU. He is being ridiculously childish. My DH acts like that too, sometimes, usually when he is stressed or tired or just being a twat.

Shouldn't someone have piped up with 'Leave the bastard!' by now?!

Yanbu

But something's getting at him so I suggest you ask him to talk to you when he's calmed down, to get to the bottom of it. I'd expect him to apologise. If he won't, then I'd leave the bastard.

Yanbu. I objected to exp watching anything not suitable for a then 2 year old when she was around. I don't see what the problem is?his I mean

Sorry, just seen you are used to being made out to be the villain. Time for a serious chat. I hope that he will do that. How long has he been like this?

What a silly little boy.
He had the alternative of watching it in the bedroom and he still sulked.
YANBU

JamieandTheMagicTorch - not sure how long I have been the villain. I think he sees me as an oppressive force that wants to stop him doing what he wants. Things haven't been brilliant lately and arguing is not unusual but I am no saint either. I haven't had an apology, but I don't want a fight so I'm going to let this one go.

OP just to check - have little read through a list of "signs of emotional abuse" and just check that this does not apply to you because if it does, it really could be a case of "leave the bastard". Couple of things flag up IMO eg "Not sure how long I have been the villian" "I don´t want a fight so I´m going to let this one go" (I expect he knows this to be the case hence why no apology and he may get worse each time), "furious and not speaking to me" over something pretty trivial.
Just keep your eyes wide open.

H does this. He will start watching something he Sky+ when the baby (15 months) is in bed or the kids are at school. Then she wakes or they are home and he doesnt turn it off until I ask him to.

He gets a right bag on because a) he wants to watch his super important filme and b) he knows that I am right. He always kicks off biggest when he knows that he is being a dick.

The irony is that he will have a go at 21 year old DS or 15 year old DD if they put something on that he thinks is inappropriate for the younger ones. Do as I say, not do as I do......

Thanks caramelisedonions. I don't think the signs of emotional abuse are really ringing bells with me, I am not one to be intimidated. I'm not backing down on this, I guess I got my way and I don't need to force a grudging apology as well. He stopped sulking about 10 minutes later and everything was ok.

We probably argue enough, it's not always worth picking a fight. As bogeyface said about her H, people are usually more unreasonable when they know they're in the wrong. They feel ashamed because they know they're wrong and they're angry with the person who made them feel ashamed.

Can't he just wait until they are in bed? YANBU

I would not want to live like this for too long. I'd want to get to the bottom of it. Adults should (IMO) be able to acknowledge their mistakes and apologise. If not there and then, after some discussion and thought.

There are a number of possibilities:

He's depressed/stressed - he needs to deal with that so he is happier and your life is happier.

He's EA you.

He's having an affair and is picking fights.

oooor of course, none of the above and he's common-or-garden being an arse,