to think my 11 year old is being horrible at present?

[charlottehere]

We bought DD (nearly 11) two lovley guinea pigs after much nagging. The agreement was they are basically her responsibilty, she feeds them, cleans up after them, plays with them, puts them in/out of run etc. Me or DH will buy food and take/pay at vets/check they are being looked after. She promised faithfully she would do this.

However...............3 weeks on and she does do most of the reuired work but often moans/throws wobblies about cleaning up after them, which often includes hoovering the stairs and landing as she manages to get sawdust everywhere.

She has just had a major wobblies, crying, slamming doors, knocking over wash basket, stomping on stairs over this and the fact she has NO clothes her wardrobe is full of stuff she chose, she has more clothes than me. She is going on a 5 day school trip tommorrow and decided to upack her bag to get clothes she wanted to wear today.

I am pregnant and hormonal but at the moment I think she is spoilt and being horrible. I do love her loads. SO AIBU? and any suggestions gratefully recieved.

Well if you went with my dads version of parenting you would remove all clothes bar 1 uniform 1 playset 1 nightie and say "now you have no clothes"

Oh and after her behaviour she has been kept at home instead of going out as a family for the afternoon.

Maybe I should softly but that seems a bit mean.

Why will parents stop buying pets for their kids to 'look after'? Everyone knows the novelty wears off and 9 times out of 10 the parents are left to look after them or the poor buggers get rehomed (the pets, not the kids!)

Let her throw her wobbly and don't help her re-pack the bag for he trip. Make sure she does it all herself and then it's not your problem.

Sorry I meant when not why

See it makes me too angry to type

welcome to puberty lovey

of course she has clothes let her rant away don't listen to her oh and maybe threaten to give her clothes away least they are in a wardrobe wait till their wardrobe is the floor ! no suggestions really but id stick with she MUST look after the guinea pigs no new 'things' till her behaviour improves and just let her rant and ignore her, and maybe a little threat of not going on her trip would bring her back in line . dont worry about seeming mean you are not mean,

Your probably right worral, in fact I know you are right, probably not a smart move getting her a pet to look after. (lots of reasons why we did though).

I feel like re-homing her and keeping the gps actually!

little fluffy piggies hormonal ranting 11 yr old girl now let me think what i would rather have

It worked im very nice as did

"no that's not dark, this is dark"

And

"oh you want to meet a fair lad at the waltzers? I'll drop you off".

I should be more fucked up

Oh Mrsjay, you say it like this is the start of it (puberty). Yes I will stand firm with her looking after her pets. TBH I probably would help more but know I won't have time when the baby comes.

Softly

I bet part of today's angst is her worrying about going away tomorrow.

I've tried leaving my kids at the zoo but the little gits keep getting returned

My DH said that ohyou but I don't think she is worried at all TBH! She is very excited as am I now

personally i think there should be a puberty creche where we could drop them off and then pick them back up when they are 16 after we have had a break

Horse, barn, door shut too late.

Um, she sounds normal (normal probably includes elements of horrible). Your only mistake was in thinking she could really be so responsible. Is a struggle for most of them. Easier if it's cast iron routine: ie write up a schedule of exactly when & what and in what order. Don't feel too bad, I regularly fend off pleas for pony/hamster/snake/mice/dog, DD insists she'll do all care for it. Yeah right.

1. Packed-unpacked clothes: just let her get on with it, as long as she has a bag of some stuff to take so be it. If she has to wear the same smelly dirty clothes all week, has no toothbrush or toothpaste or hairbrush, or has to scrunch up her coat to use as a pillow, so be it.

2. No clothes, must have new: yeah right. I mostly ignore, insist that she ditches old stuff before new can be bought (mine is a hoarder so she can't face ditching old stuff, Result). Else if I can find anything for her to wear I insist there is no problem. Mine spent 10 minutes yesterday crying that she couldn't wear jeans, had to be leggings which she couldn't find, wore jeans instead of course, in end, with no problems.

3. Guinea Pigs: lesson learnt, they get any pet, you will do the work because you care. This is why we have low-work family pets (cats). I suppose that you could insist that she forfeits pocket money for any job you have to do, that they were supposed to. Don't battle about it; make a list when & how GPig jobs should be done, post it prominently, & if they aren't done by then or done right, you do them & she loses pocket money or privilege or whatever. Warn her once that's the system & don't remind her jobs will need doing if reminding leads to any aggro.

Mine is busy browsing Dog Trust website as I type, convinced she'll save up to get a puppy. I pat her on the head & smile nicely.

Must take Dcs to zoo soon.

is it her school residential ? she will love it and come back looking very grown up I know when MY dds did it they were not so little when they got back,

Mine is busy browsing Dog Trust website as I type, convinced she'll save up to get a puppy. I pat her on the head & smile nicely.

My 14 yr old is ALWAYS showing me fluffy puppy pictures from facebok her phone is always in my face with her going LOOK AT ITS FACE

lljkk I like your style! Why oh why do I let myself get sucked in. I blame the hormones. Thanks will think about your tips.

Yes mrsjay, someone else said that to me. I though pah its only 5 days so that is interesting that you are saying it too! I get the puupy pictures as well, DH joins in twunt

She's 10, I don't think that's too young to take responsibility for pets that she wanted. My kids have pets that they clean out themselves, and have done so since about age 7/8 (with a bit of help at the beginning).

Maybe your DD is different, but I think that posters who are generalising to "Don't buy pets for kids" are a bit unfair.

If it's any consolation I've spent my adult life wracked with guilt I didn't look after my guinea better - used to get my pocket money stopped if I didn't look after her properly. I loved her so much but I think I was simply lazy.

We will be getting piggies when DD is older (and we have a proper garden for them) but they will be family pets and I intend to do most of the caring for them myself just try and stop me.

Just been looking up info on moving them outside, at least would stop the hoovering angst.

I get the puupy pictures as well, DH joins in twunt