to be upset with DH...

[skiesmylimit]

Bit of history...
I went through a stage after my first born (3years ago) being extremely weight conscious. I developed an eating disorder and dropped to 7 st 9, size 6-8. I then got pregnant with DS2, now just under 5 months.

I am having trouble to resist the temptation of slipping into my old habbit,which was not eating.
I'm not big, I know I'm not. I'm 9st and size 10 bottom 8 top.

Anyway H has just really upset me, sorting clothes out and he got all my old size 8 jeans out, held them up and said "ppffftt you are never going to fit them again" then looked at me and sighed.

Are you sure the 'look' and the 'sigh' wasn't all in your mind?

It's amazing how these things can be misconstrued, especially if you say you're having trouble resisting the temptation to not eat.

Is your DH generally unkind about your weight, or was this a once off? I'm just wondering, as worra said, if you might have misinterpreted.

YANBU to be upset with him, but you must tell him why.
It's difficult to remember that people recovering from an eating disorder will sometimes hear what you say in a way you didn't mean, and you need to point out the problem so he can reassure you and hopefully not say anything like it again.
That's all based in the assumption that he isn't a cock-lodger who tries to upset you, which I imagine you would have mentioned already in your OP?
Anyway, well bloody done you for coming so far, stay strong, I know how hard it is to try and overcome something like that.

He may be right. No way will I ever be size eight again after 3 kids but I am happy at a ten.

Agree the sigh could all be in your mind, I think women are more obsessed with weight then men tbh.

Whys he sorting through your clothes? Is your weight important to him? Do you think he added pressure on you to lose weight after dc1?

Does your DH know you had an eating disorder? I ask because I know it's something people often suffer in secret. Either way, I'd suggest you need to clarify his attitude towards your weight and if necessary highlight the fact that snidey and/or critical remarks are not only unkind and disrespectful but also potentially harmful given your history.

For yourself, have you had professional support or counselling? If not this might be the time to arrange something, to stop yourself slipping back into anorexia.

Is your husband aware of your eating disorder? If so then could you remind him that comments like that - even throwaway ones - are deeply unhelpful?

If he's not aware of it then perhaps this is the time to talk about it.

I think the period with two very small children is very intense, I felt very anxious and sensitive pretty much in general until my youngest was over 2 due to being bloody knackered all the time, clearly not eating isn't going to help you physically cope with the demands so I really hope you can keep your resolve and either tune out comments like that or get him on side.

He knows, but not the extent of it.

He was sorting through the whole wardrobe, which included my clothes.

I don't eat a great deal. But I certainly don't calorie count like I used to. I used to limit myself to 300 calories about 4 days a week. The other 3 days I wouldn't eat. I lived on pepsi max to help me keep full.

I now won't look at calories and will eat what I want, but in moderation. I am losing weight, but not like I used to. I want to do it properly, tone up and eat healthy and plenty.

He does make me feel like I need to lose a little weight, says iv got a big bum and doesn't really compliment.

I think a big bum especially at your weight is meant to be a compliment...for many men that is compliment giving. I am over weight (not greatly but enough to be BMI overweight) and I know healthy eating and exercise will make your mind feel better. Weighing yourself leads to obsessive behaviour in my experience so I don't bother but no matter what your size your body shape changes after babies and there isn't much we can do about it. A loving husband will accept that this is a souvenier of what we have been through in order to produce a healthy and beautiful baby.

If you feel able to, I think you need to sit him down and have a proper chat about it.
Comments about the size of your bum are completely unacceptable when you're recovering, and he needs to know.