To still be screening what my 11 year old is reading?

[Piskeydust]

11 yr old DS is quite a complex creature, has quite an odd perception of the world, has an obsession with war, violence, and occasionally has nightmares.. He remembers and obsesses over strange details, his physical reading ability is pretty good, but his comprehension is quite bad.
He's just started secondary school and he's loaned a book called 'World in Flames' - World war 2 at sea. Ive taken it from him this evening, with the reasoning of it not being ideal for bedtime as he only had a war nightmare a few weeks ago. He's also asked if he's allowed to loan out the 'young adult' labelled books, and ive told him i'll talk to a teacher about what may be appropiate and let him know...
When i was his age i think i was pretty much 'off the riegns' with the exception of magazines, but i really dont think he's ready for this kind of freedom.. and i used to always believe if you were capable of reading it and were interested, why shouldnt you? But i just really dont think my DS is ready for some of the things he might be interested in... am i being unreasonable to continue to screen his reading material?

I've got into trouble on here before for saying that I do censor my children's reading. But I also censor their watching and gaming too.

I censor what ds 11 reads - of course I do, I can't believe anyone would just let their 11 year old read Stephen King or 50 Shades of Grey.

I censor what he watches and plays on screen as well. It'll be very different when he is 15, at that ages I was ploughing through Jilly Cooper, but not at 11.

Just because they can read something, doesn't mean they should imo.

I was allowed to read pretty much whatever & looking back I think it was very inappropriate. Eg: Playboy magazine at age 5-6*. Bestiality & genocide at age 7. I will try to screen what DC read or watch until they are 15-16. Am trying to avoid Dr. Who at the moment because it usually gives the 8yo nightmares.

*Mind, Playboy mag in early 1970s was a lot more tasteful than modern equivalents.

I remember reading mills and boon at 11. Did it harm me? It's such drivel, probably not. Did it benefit me? Very much doubt it.

There is so much he can see about the war without it being 'the world in flames'.

Another one for censoring in as much as I don't want them reading trashy sexual violent material - they are children!

I am disappointed at the lack of decent content for teens. I'd like to see more genres available, at the moment fantasy and sci fi dominate.

We've gone down the Life of Pi, Curious Incident contemporary route but for every one of them there are 20 spy novels and 50 vampire ones! Other than that it's classics.

You know your child and ou sound to be managing things fine.

My kids tended to, when younger (and I think DD2 still does) just give up on a book if it was too adult/scary for them.

It is easy to censor what your DCs watch at home, and which games they play-I have always done it. Reading isn't so easy-how do you know? I was a great one for reading under the bedclothes with a torch and would quickly have changed books. Not that I read anything to worry about, but a mother banning it would have made it instantly desirable!
It does seem a bit naive to say 'I don't want you to read that' and they say 'yes mummy' (well they probably would say it -but how would you know they were meaning it?)

exotic ds doesn't have his own funds to buy books atm, so it's easy to censor, I'm the one buying or downloading onto the kindle for him.

I was allowed to read anything that I was interested in. As a result, I was reading Stephen King and James Herbert at age 10! Also Dickens though....it has not harmed me at all.

I still love Dickens and I still love horror.

Actually I do think that it's OK if kids to get hold of stuff you don't want them to read and reading it under the covers with a torch. That's very different from you giving it to them. Does that make sense? I didn't- and wouldn't- give my dd Riders when she was 11, but I know she read it.

I didn't have any funds-I did have friends to lend things. I led a very sheltered childhood but I can't be the only person where books were passed around?Maybe these days with so much else you don't need to-personally I was just grateful if my DSs read anything and the chance of them passing books around was nil! (a different problem with computer games where I did have to watch)

I am with you there seeker-I wouldn't give them certain books-I might easily take them away, but I'm not naive enough to think that they just accept it! You will never actually know unless they tell you later on.

The whole joy of reading is that it is subversive-as realised by people like Roald Dahl.

I'd exhausted the children's library by about 10 years old, so my mother leant me three adult library cards, and I read whatever I liked for the rest of primary school. (Went on my bicycle once or twice a week to re-stock.) Read mostly war stories and science fiction. Some historical adventure had some sex in them. I think the amount of reading I did was good for me.

I had left school when I bought Lady Chatterley's Lover. I worked in London so was able to buy it at Foyle's. I read it and put it in the bookcase at home (with my parents). After a week, it disappeared. My mother was disgusted and had thrown it away. I was cross because it was not hers to throw away. It was a first edition paperback.

I read everything and everything-I doubt whether my mother kept up with what I got from the library.

I think it's easier for me as ds doesn't like the library so easier to keep tabs on what he's reading...at the moment!

I have never censored. This is a house full of good books. DD thought atonement was fantastic - read it at 13 and has munched through much of Sebatian Faulks. She realised herself that she had no wish to read the twilight series after only a chapter or two. She also downloaded 50 shades of grey onto her kindle and announced it was so badly written she couldn't be bothered with it.

Good for her for getting through Atonement - such a dull book imo but LOVED the film

Mine have always been encouraged to use the library-they joined as babies-a fantastic resource. The best bit for me as a child was complete freedom of choice-I would have hated to have had everything go through my mother first.

Yep, we joined ds up when he was very small and went religiously every week. He always hated it - odd child It's my favourite place!!!!

He told me recently it's because he can't bear to hand the books back. He re reads books so I can understand it sort of He has a huge bookshelf in his room packed with books and saves pocket money for the latest Cherub book though.

He wanted to read The Help recently and I told him I'd get it for him in a while - graphic miscarriage description and domestic violence. He loved the film but that was very different from the book. He'd be up all night, sensitive soul!

my censoring does not involve banning books but obviously I would try to steer them away by saying it's boring, it's a bit grown up or whatever. So far they haven't minded.

It's funny what they end up with sometimes. DS1 got through a few of the No1 Ladies Detective Agency series. He was only 9 or 10 and remember thinking what an odd choice!

DS2 is 14 and likes much of the same stuff as me. I tend not to recommend anything to him with what I consider too much adult content, though I don't censor what he gets from the library.
On holiday this summer he read a Harlen Coben (which are normally very tame) before me. He kept saying how good it was. When I read it after him I knew why .
I would certainly have no problem with monitoring the content of an 11 year old's reading. There's some nasty stuff about.