Long story short, I have a friend who I have known for a long long time, we are very close. She is absolutely lovely but terrible with money. She was in a highly paid job til quite recently but never managed to save anything, has loads of old debts etc.
Recently she has broken up with her partner (no DC) and is out of work. She is overdue on her rent and struggling to afford food and travel, can't pay phone bill etc. This happens every couple of years (because she never puts money aside when she's working) and then usually she will find some work at the last minute. But obviously right now we're in a recession so the work she's after is thin on the ground.
I feel really sorry for her and part of me wants to help her out, give her some money to tide her over (we are not wealthy but have some savings). But there are a few things stopping me. Firstly I "lent" her quite a large sum of money many years ago in a similar situation and it has never been paid back. Secondly she has not done several basic things to help herself which I would in a similar situation - she has not signed on/applied for HB (she's self employed which I know complicates matters), and she is only applying for a few highly paid jobs in her field (rather than getting any temp job/bar work/Tesco etc to tide her over). Thirdly I know that unless she gets to grip with her finances, even if I help her out this time then she'll end up in the same situation. I also know that although she would say (and mean) that she would pay me back, realistically any money I give her would soon be swallowed up by her debts and she'd be back at square one. I have advised her to go to CAB to look at her options and look at other options (like moving back with her parents) but it seems to fall on deaf ears.
So. I am wondering how to best help her. She hasn't asked for money although I know she would accept it gratefully if I offered. So AIBU not to offer because she is a grown woman who needs to get a grip on her own finances. Or should I just bung her some money and accept that it might not help at all?