Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Giving a two year old beer... <Mortified Face>

101 replies

FrothyDragon · 15/09/2012 18:00

My judgey pants are hoiked up so far, they've covered my head, here...

Anyway, on a few occasions I've caught DB allowing DNephew, who's just turned 2, a few sips of beer. It seems, where friends are concerned, it's "Oh so funny", but it's seriously making me wince even thinking about it.

Both DB and DSil are very liberal when it comes to alcohol. DNiece, aged 7, has been allowed bacardi breezers on special occasions, and my concerns regarding this, and giving DNephew beer, have been shot down with claims I need to learn to "chill" a bit.

AIBU? Over-reacting? Or have I missed a way to broach the issue with them?

OP posts:
Original poster
FrothyDragon · 16/09/2012 08:26

Proud, no, from the way the conversation went, it was definitely not just sips.

I honestly don't see the need to introduce kids that young to alcohol, regardless, though. Children that young don't understand the effects of alcohol

OP posts:
Proudnscary · 16/09/2012 08:31

I agree with you, but why let poster after poster think it was a whole bottle when you had no idea Confused?

I'm not sure what to suggest - it's a tricky one. I understand your unease at this. Can you try talking to your bro again? It's hard because no-one likes their parenting criticised. And I guess a sip of Barcadi Breezer to one person is a Fruit Shoot to another...

CouthyMowWearingOrange · 16/09/2012 08:46

I'm more shocked by the Bacardi Breezer for a 7yo - not a whole bottle, surely?!

Because if it was a whole bottle, I might just be about to get strangled by my Judgy pants being pulled so high!

My 14yo has never drunk more than a snowball at Christmas this year. I don't think it will be much longer before she is down the park with her friends drinking whatever teenagers drink these days (I'm guessing it's not MD20/20 any more, bloody stuff was like fruit flavoured paint stripper!), but for now, that's all.

Helps that I only have an alcoholic drink about 4 times a year, so I don't think it's been 'normalised' in the same way to my DD.

Original poster
FrothyDragon · 16/09/2012 08:58

Couthy, I'm not sure how much of a bacardi breezer she was given. But more than just sips, from how it was talked about.

Proud, he doesn't listen to me; anytime I try and point out somewhere he's going wrong, no matter how I word it, he wastes no time in shutting me up. As I said upthread, I was considered "hysterical" for chastising him for letting DS get hold of his beer. Hmm (DS was coming up to two at the time)

OP posts:
Proudnscary · 16/09/2012 09:01

Hmm seems like there's not a lot you can do other than put your foot down re your own son (as you have). Very hard.

peanutMD · 16/09/2012 09:21

Ignoring Bacardi Breezer comment as I am confused about amounts etc.

I really don't understand why people insist on normalising alcohol by allowing their children to try sips from such a young age, and I certainly don't buy into the because the child kept reaching for it or annpying you to try some.

You tell them no end of, pressumably you wouldn't have them taking a draw of a cigarette because they were doing the same thing? alcohol can be just as dangerous and normalising it can only make matters worse.

I am in no way a perfect parent or particularly strict with my DS hut there are boundaries I just don't think it's acceptable to cross

CamperFan · 16/09/2012 10:01

A sip, not so bad, as others have said, although not at 2 yo for me - DS1 is nearly 6 and I let him taste my red wine on holiday, knowing full well he would hate it. The BB thing, well the mind boggles.

But peanut, I'm a bit confused by your comments about the dangers of'normalizing' alcohol - consuming alcohol is a normal and common aspect of our society. I would rather it was 'normalised' than seen as a really special, desirable thing to do, iyswim. Not by small children, granted, but by teenagers. I do believe that controlled drinking within a family environment, combined with actually talking about the dangers of excessive drinking, as a teen helps avoid binge drink scenarios. Admittedly though, I have small children and I could be completely wrong.

pookamoo · 16/09/2012 10:07

My aunt gave DD2 (7 months) Pimms at her Christening. Hmm

meditrina · 16/09/2012 10:12

Well, one-off ingestion of small amounts of alcohol won't do any harm (as I found out when one DC as a toddler managed to minesweep some kir royale Blush and liked it as it was just like ribena). But I think deliberately introducing the tastes and habits young is unwise (not to mention illegal).

There's a world of difference between socialising teens into responsible drinking habits and giving alcohol to the very young. I think it's wrong to give alcohol at all before the teen years (unless it's something clearly one off, like a teenie amount of champagne to "join in" with a wedding toast, which I have seen done with primary age children - who generally don't like it and demand cola instead).

peanutMD · 16/09/2012 10:20

Sorry camper I see what you mean.

I don't see a problem with say an 11yo having a small glass of diluted wine (apart from the fact I wouldn't give wine to a dog, bleurgh!) At a family occasion but I don't see why we should teach children that we must drink alcohol if there is a special event either.

Its a fine line between normalising and encouraging it I think and unfortunately the way our culture stands at the moment I think we need to discourage them from drinking alcohol.

MmeLindor · 16/09/2012 10:29

If it wasn't you, Frothy, I would have thought you were a troll.

I am astounded that anyone would give a 7yo a Bacardi Breezer. Isn't alcohol really bad for the liver of young children?

Tbh, I would stop commenting on the sips of beer (cause that is bringing the 'you are being hysterical' comments) and give them some good info on the effects of alcohol on young children, concentrating on the Bacardi Breezer. That is infinitely more worrying in my opinion.

YellowDinosaur · 16/09/2012 10:32

The thing is you say that it was definitely more than a sip of the Bacardi breezer but if you are basing this on what the 7 year old has told you I'd be a bit cautious.

Because both of my sons aged 4 and 6 will occasionally say 'i like lager'. Because they want to be like daddy and they think it's funny. Neither of them have ever tried alcohol.

I would be judgey about the breezer if I'd witnessed it or your brother has told you. Otherwise I'd be a bit cautious about interpreting it tbh.

KenLeeeeeee · 16/09/2012 10:42

Nevermind judgy pants , I have a full-on judgy bodysuit here! Bacardi breezers at 7?? And as a regular treat for special occasions?? I am flabbergasted.

The sips of beer would bother me less tbh. Yes 2 is far too young - not to mention illegal - but it pales into insignificance against giving alcopops to the older sibling.

MmeLindor · 16/09/2012 10:45

some info here

Btw, this idea that the French all give their DC watered down wine - we lived in Switzerland, on the French border for over 3 years and I never saw this. Not saying it never happens, but I don't think that it is as commonplace as some suggest.

My eldest is 10yo and she will not be getting even watered down wine until she is about 15yo. It is not necessary. If you want to let them 'join in the celebration' then give them Schloer.

I don't think it is particularly harmful, but I don't see the point. They are kids, they are allowed to be kids a little bit longer.

MsGee · 16/09/2012 10:56

camper my parents normalised alcohol. I still have problems with drinking. My sister doesn't though. So I can't be sure that it affected me - but it did give me permission to start. In fact being around my parents is still the biggest trigger for me drink wise - because it's so much a part of family life (in a naice middle class, shall we get another bottle sort of way).

StealthPolarBear · 16/09/2012 18:59

Camperfan the evidence has shown that these benefits of 'normalising' alcohol by giving it to young teens is not actually the case. Current guidelines are nothing at all before 15 and that is evidence based.

MrDobalina · 16/09/2012 22:53

peanut you might tell them 'no', end of....if you thought it was harmful...but IMO a sip of beer at age 2 yo, because she kept reaching for it; is not harmful and isn't leading them into a life of alcohol abuse. At that age, the taste is horrid to them-they don't ask for more

I don't really know what you mean by 'normalising it', because alcohol is normal

AmbrosiaCreamedMice · 16/09/2012 23:00

I'm still amazed/disgusted that someone would give a 12 year old two Bacardi Breezers. They'd be pissed. How sad.

peanutMD · 17/09/2012 07:49

Dobalina I mean normalising as in introducing a young child, which a 7YO is IMO, to the concept that we should/must drink alcohol at social gatherings.

I have a 6YO and although he's seen his dad having a few cans maybe once or twice, he wouldn't automatically assume that people will be consuming alcohol just because there is a 'party'.

I realise if course that alcohol is part if many peoples daily lives but there is no need for a child to be aware of it.

dysfunctionalme · 17/09/2012 11:37

Do they give them a pack of fags to knock back at the same time?

amck5700 · 17/09/2012 11:59

I've let mine have sips of beer or wine since they were toddlers - No2 son did the whole body shudder and hasn't touched it since. No1 one son sadly liked it. he is 12 now and is allowed to have a can of shandy or ginger beer on special occasions - that seems to be enough to satisfy his alcohol desires for now :)

Giving a 7 year old a bacardi breezer is totally out of order (i presume you mean a whol one and not a sip?)

AFingerofFudge · 17/09/2012 12:07

i know I'm going to sound like a right boring square for saying this but surely if you give any aged child an alcoholic drink "on special occasions" that's where the whole bad drinking culture can start ie. you need to have alcohol in order to enjoy yourselves???

amck5700 · 17/09/2012 12:17

Maybe you are right Fudge. No2 son is allowed a can or Irn Bru on special occasions - I think it is more the fizzy drink thing than the alcohol in our case. We do have a history of alcohol issues in our family on both sides but both my OH and I are not drinkers, we like a glass of wine now and then and OH will have an odd beer so I guess we are trying to ensure that alcohol is not desirable and mystical but neither is it an everyday thing - who knows if we are getting it right.

StealthPolarBear · 17/09/2012 12:20

Ah fudge you old square
I agree totally

MsGee · 17/09/2012 12:33

fudge you are right. It sends out the message that alcohol is linked to 'special occasions', family gatherings, having fun etc.

My DD asked about people drinking wine yesterday as DH had a beer at lunch. We explained that it is only for adults, that a lot of people enjoy having a glass but it makes a lot of people ill and that really, when you think about it, drinking something that might make you ill and affects your health is a bit silly really.

I can't imagine she would ask for a sip. If she did, I wouldn't give her one just because she asked. As I wouldn't let her drive the car to just have a go. Or anything else that is not suitable for children.

mind you, I am a square, I get judgey about small children drinking tea and coffee but that is another thread entirely